Pain and Excuses

Pain and Excuses

Darkest midnight is here and I find myself thinking of you
Where are you right now
What are you doing
Our hearts are filled with pain
We gave you unconditional love
We gave you our trust
We gave you our daughter
What was the truth
What were the lies
What lay behind your smiles

Tonight a family lies incomplete
Torn apart
Carelessly thrown aside like yesterday’s garbage
Hearts that will never be the same
Children who are confused
Children who miss their daddy
A daughter who was crushed
Who will fill this void now
How will they feel when they are old enough to know why daddy had to leave

Lust
Betrayal
Robbery
Deceit
Denial
Pain
Lies

Lust, not for life but for the pleasures of the flesh
Oh golden liquid that warms me, I must have you
My kids don’t need food
My family does not need electricity or a phone
Somebody will give them clothes, surely
Oh that I may sit and let that warm elixir slide down my throat
Oh my love, you solve all my problems

My daughter
Beautiful child, beautiful eyes, budding body
Naughty child
Lie down here while I punish you
Don’t tell, nobody will believe you
You’ll get it worse
I love it when you need punished
I know you love it too

Wonderful internet
Oh the beautiful ladies
Naked before me, posed just for me
They look at me smiling
Invitingly
Wanting me to touch them, waiting for me
My wife does not understand me but you do
Oh how I love to have my golden elixir and visit you

Listen to my lies
I’m not a bad man…….. right
I go to church
I teach Sunday school
I help friends and family
I smile and tell jokes
Everybody loves me for who they think I am
They think I’m OK so they leave me alone

Hey family, hey pastor
I spit in your eye
Hey God, you don’t really mind do you?
You understand me
I have needs and surely that is OK….. right?
I’ll work on getting better tomorrow
Right now my elixir calls me
The ladies of the internet need me to visit them
I must go now and take care of my pleasures
You understand that, right
Nobody knows but me
I’m not hurting anyone after all