New Guy in Town

He stood out in the cafeteria as a newcomer all right. Didn’t know he was paying by the ounce for the sandwich he’d built, couldn’t find the water glasses. “Hi there,” I said. “You’re Lance, aren’t you? The new guy from third floor? Come sit with me. “ Lance nodded and followed along behind as we threaded our way to an empty table.

I introduced myself. “So, you’re new to our town too, I hear. Are you settled in yet? How do you like it so far?”

“The job’s great,” he said grinning. “I’m afraid I’m not off to a good start with my neighbor though.”

“Why? What happened?” I asked.

“My hobby is woodworking, and I made a special mailbox out front designed to look like my house.”

“That sounds cool. Some zoning law against it?”

“No, it’s just that my neighbor backed a U-Haul into it and broke it to pieces.”

“Oh, bummer! “

“Not only that, but she claimed it was an accident,” he said, his eyes narrowed.

“You mean, you think she did it on purpose? “ I asked.

“I’m sure of it. It’s not that hard to park a U-Haul, “ he said.

I stared at him, at a loss for words. Finally I said, “You must be furious.”

“I don’t get mad,” he said with a slight smile. “I get even. “

As I ate my sandwich in silence, he asked, “Where’s a good place to buy fireworks around here, maybe bottle rockets? My kids always like fireworks for the 4th. I’ll have to be mighty careful though: my neighbor has a pretty old shingle roof. It’d go like tinder if it got hit.”