MaMa Says, "Love the Bully!"

Jake listens to his Mother's unusual advice as he deals with a Bully in school.

MaMa says, "Love the Bully!"

by Brandie Karpie-Jones

Jake woke up from a restless sleep and was now dreading the thought of going to school? He used to love school. Everything about school was exciting to him, his Friends, Reading, Math, Gym and even his Teachers. Lately though, school was not the same since a ‘Bully’ came into his life.
Jake thought about telling his Mom that he had a stomach-ache, a head-ache, chicken pocks or even the ‘bird-flu’ which he heard so much about in the news lately. Anything to stay home from school! In his heart though, he knew his Mom would see through his lie. He decided then and there that he couldn’t take all the name-calling, the little shoves here and there and he especially didn’t like it when his snacks were taken during lunch. Jake decided to talk to his Mom about the bully, today; in fact --- Right NOW.
He found his Mom in the living-room, feeding the birds their breakfast and fresh water. “Mom,” he said softly, “I really need to talk with you about something that is very important to me.” Jake’s Mother set the seeds on the table and sat down and listened as Jake told her about the bully. He told her everything about how the bully embarrasses him whenever possible and how the bully took a pencil right out of his hand during Art Class and ruined his picture with scribbles and then, --- threw the pencil on the floor!
His Mother was dumbfounded as he explained how he now hated school and didn’t want to go to school ever again until the bully was gone! He just could not take anymore ‘Bullying’? Jake went on and on, not realizing that he missed his bus as he was somewhat relieved by their conversation. He felt so much better for finally telling somebody about his problems at school but, he definitely wasn’t prepared for his Mom’s solution to the bullying.
Jake’s mother’s heart was broken as she was overcome with his pain. Her first reaction was to Bully the 'Bully', herself! After a few deep breaths, with tears in her eyes, she hugged and kissed him and assured him that they would handle the bully once and for all. Then she told him that she would drive him to school since he missed his bus. She knew that his problem had to be addressed and dealt with but, how? This was really bothering Jake. He was so upset about the bullying that she wondered how he would ever be able to concentrate in school. They needed to finish this talk right away.
“You know Jake, ‘Babies’ are not born mean!”
Jake had no idea why his Mom was talking about babies when his problem was ‘Bullies’?
“OK?” He responded as he scratched his head.
“I am just saying that all bullies were babies at some point before they became third graders; right?” She continued. “Something happened in their lives, something that makes them want to be mean to people? Something that makes them want to see other kids sad and cry and hurt? Usually that ‘Something’ has to do with the way they were treated at home.”
Jake was definitely confused at this point as his mother continued. “Jake, deep down all bullies are ‘Sad’ and ‘Hurt’, themselves. This may sound a bit weird but my advice to you is to Love the Bully!”
“Are you Crazy Mom”? Jake shouted. ”What are you saying? Am I supposed to go and Hug the bully the next time I see him? It doesn’t make any sense to me! That won’t work Mom! No Way! Maybe I should be talking to Dad or PaPa about this instead.”
Jake’s Mom agreed that if her idea didn’t work that day then she would understand if he wanted advice from his Dad instead. But she urged him to tell the bully that he was very sorry that no one in his life cares about him enough to teach him how to treat people. To teach him how to make friends; to teach him how to make other kids laugh, instead of cry and to teach him how to have kids run towards him with excitement instead of running away from him in fear. Mom told Jake that it was not the bully’s fault but, it was Jake’s duty to ‘Love the Bully’.”
Jake just shook his head in disbelief as his Mother’s words of wisdom began to sink in. Suddenly his five year old sister Jessica ran in the silent room shouting --- “Love the Bully, Love the Bullies.” Jake and his Mom as well as his little Sister, all began to laugh whole heartedly.
During the short drive to school, Jake thought about what his Mom had said back at home. He thought about his last four years in school. He recalled seeing some other kids getting bullied in one way or another throughout the years. He then thought about the Bullies themselves? He realized that in each grade, there was always a bully. Ironically, they all acted the same, did the same mean things and had very few if any friends. In fact, none of them were very popular, nor did any of them excel in Math or Science or Gym.
They didn’t laugh with other kids unless of course they were laughing at someone. Most of the time, they were pretty angry. Why were they so angry? Jake realized his Mom might actually know what she was talking about. They probably were angry because of a situation at home. Maybe they had parents that fought all of the time, or yelled at them all the time. Maybe they didn’t live with both of their parents or, perhaps they did not have a Mom or a Dad.
Suddenly, Jake felt sorry for the bullies as he appreciated his Mom and Dad, his Sister and Grand Parents as well as his Whole Family. Maybe the poor Bullies didn’t feel Loved? Maybe nobody ever tucked them in bed at night, or told them that they were Special? Gosh, thought Jake, the list might be endless.
Jake’s Mom pulled into the school parking lot, kissed Jake and told him to think about their talk. She encouraged him by stating that she knew that he was smart enough, brave enough and special enough to deal with the bully. But, she also made it clear to him that if at anytime he wanted, she would step in and talk to his Teacher or even the Principle if necessary --- to handle Their Problem.
“Thanks Mom!” Jake replied. “But I think I can handle this bully. I actually think I can ‘Love this Bully’ Mom.” He laughed with a smile as he kissed his little sister Jessica goodbye. Mom was proud of her son as she watched him walk into the school.
Jake entered the building filled with a new confidence, standing a little taller and feeling good altogether. Before signing into the office, he decided to use the boys-restroom. As he walked in, he couldn’t believe his eyes? It was the bully, standing at the bathroom sink, splashing water on his face. His eyes met Jake’s as he barked out like a dog. “What you looking at Jerky Jake?”
Jake was startled but still felt sad for the poor bully. He bravely walked right up to him and stated; “I am so sorry that nobody in your life has loved you enough to teach you how to treat other kids or how to make Friends, because I’ll tell you, I think that you are pretty good with a hockey stick. I would sure like to know how you make all those saves in Gym Class. But, you know you kind of make it hard for me and other kids to ask you for any tips.”
The bully sort of laughed with a sigh and replied “Whatever”; as he walked out of the bathroom. Jake took a step forward and smiled at himself in the mirror on the wall as he felt content with himself. At least he tried. After school, he would ask his Father for his advice.
Later that afternoon, the class lined up for Gym. Everybody was excited as this was the last class for floor hockey. It was like their Championship Game. Each week, two captains were picked based on the alphabetic first letter of the last name. This week was the letter V which just happened to be the letter of the bully’s last name.
“Oh what luck”, Jake thought out loud as Mr. Henderson, the Gym teacher called both captains to the center of the Gym. He flipped his coin and it landed ‘Heads’.
“Great”, whispered Jake, “the bully has first choice? Just as Jake began to roll his eyes, the bully shouted out in a loud voice, “JAKE!”
“Huh”, replied Jake.
“You’re my first choice man,” replied the bully. Jake starred in a daze? Was he Dreaming? He couldn’t believe his ears nor his eyes as the bully was actually Smiling at him with his arm stretched out so that They could huddle together and strategically pick their next players?
The game flew by and both teams had a blast. I’m sorry, what was the score? Who won? Who cares! This day was more important than a game. Someone’s Life was Changed Today, two kids became Friends as one Loved the Bully!

The End