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Rated: E · Short Story · Children's · #1112409
this is a humor story about a farm that is anything but dull.
"Watch out! The pigs are loose!" Mary screeched while Ben and Ivy ran outside to help Mary round up the pigs. It was quite a scene to see three children running in circles after a bunch of dirty squealing pigs. Just as Mary reached to grab one of the porkers she slipped and landed smack dab in the middle of a patch of mud.
"Help me up.” Mary demanded. “Don’t just stand there staring at me!"
"Here, take my hand." Ben reached out and offered his hand to his older sister.
When Mary reached forward to grab it, however, Ben quickly withdrew it and once again Mary fell back into the puddle.
"That's it! I'm going to get you guys!" Mary screamed at Ben and Ivy as she pulled herself up. The children raced after each other and had almost forgotten about the pigs when Mary noticed the farmhouse door stood open. When she took a closer look she could see small brown hooves prints zigzagging into the house.
"Darn those pigs!" Mary cried out.
“Ought-o!” Ben snickered as he and Ivy ran to help Mary round up the pigs.
The families’ five pigs had dug a hole under their pen and made their way into the house.
“We need to find the pigs quickly.” Mary said. “We have to get them out of here before mom, dad and grandma get home from the grocery store.” Mary added.


As the children entered the house, Mary saw one of the pigs running down the hallway. She chased the pig and almost cornered it when it dashed through her legs and into Mary’s bedroom. She trailed after the pig. The pig’s squeal got louder and more disturbing as Mary got closer. The pig ran to the back of the bedroom and managed to squeeze its way into Mary’s half open closet. When she followed the pig into the dark closet, she forgot to bend her head and ran into a bunch of empty clothes hangers. The top of the clothes hanger somehow caught up in Mary’s braid. She pried her fingers onto the hanger and pulled hard. As she removed the hair from the clutches of the clothes hanger she felt a searing pain run through her scalp.
"Ouch!" she cried as she ran her hand over her scalp.
She exited the closet just in time to see the pig run out of her room with one of her belts clutched in its mouth and her bra straps in twinned around its neck.


Mary raced after the pig, down the hall when she spotted Ivy in kitchen. Ivy was attempting to round up a different pig that had apparently knocked the Young’s dirty dishes off the kitchen table and onto the floor. The pig was licking up egg yoke off the floor. Ivy dashed towards the pig and grabbed its tail. The pig, angry to have his snack interrupted, began to squeal with all its might. Ivy grabbed onto the pigs’ tail and although she held firmly to its stumpy little tail, five-year-old Ivy wasn’t big enough to stop the squealing pig, and it lurched down the hallway, dragging poor little Ivy behind it.
Mary shook her head and hoped Ivy would be able to regain control of the pig. She continued down the hall in search of the pig she had been chasing. Mary unfortunately ran smack into Ben as he came around the corner and they collided together and both fell on the floor. Just then a pig ran down the hall with Ivy, who was being swished back and forth by the pig.

Mary pulled herself up from the floor and spotted another pig entering the living room.
“Ben, go after the pig in the living room.” Mary pleaded. “ I’m going to try and rescue Ivy from her pigs’ clutches.”
Ben got up in a flash and headed into the living room after the pig. Mary chassed after the pig carrying Ivy. She cornered the pig in the kitchen and pulled poor little Ivy from it. With Ivy safe, Mary headed towards the living room to help Ben round up his pig. Mary entered the living room just in time to see Ben and the pig playing “tug of war” with their mothers’ velvet couch pillow.
Oh, no. It took Mamma nearly a month to make those new pillows, Mary thought to herself.
Just then the pig pulled back hard on the pillow, causing Ben to fall flat on his behind.
“Ben, are you all right?” Mary asked, as she helped him up.
“Yeah, I’m getting use to falling on my rump.” He added with a snicker.
Just then the children heard a shrill scream.
“Oh no!” Mary cried. “Mom, dad and grandma are home from the store.”

The Young children raced towards the sound of the scream. When they neared the front door, the children were amazed to see Mrs. Young chasing after three of the pigs with flyswatter in hand.
“Mary, what’s going on?” Mr. Young asked with a frown planted upon his face.
“Uh, sorry, Dad.” Mary whispered. “The pigs got loose from their pen and the door to the house must have been left open.” She added, not able to meet her fathers’ eye.
“Well accidents happen.” Mr. Young said. “Let’s all wrestle up the pigs and put them back into their pen.” Mr. Young said.

Mary was relieved to see her dad wasn’t upset with her.
“All right everyone lets each take a different room and round up these pigs.” Mary announced. “Ben, you take the living room, Ivy look in the kitchen and I’ll check the bedrooms.” Mary ordered.
Just as the children began to dash off to their assigned rooms, they were surprised to see grandma Young running towards them with a pig in tow.
“Help, the pig’s trying to eat my nylons! Grandma Young hollered.
Mary, trying to help Grandma Young, chased after the pig.
As Grandma Young made a beeline for the kitchen, the pig chased after her and slipped on the remaining egg yolk on the floor. Mary was able to scoop up the squirming pig and wrestled with the rambunctious pig all the way back to his pen. She made sure the pens latch closed tightly before returning back to the house to gather up the four remaining pigs.

When Mary got back inside, she noticed the pig who’d been in her closet was having a hard time seeing where he was going due to the bra that was in twinned around his neck with one of the its cups covering its eye. The pig finally managed to knock the cup to the side and see straight again. It gave Mary just enough time to pick the pig up and march the squirming pig back to his pen.
When Mary returned, she saw that both Ivy and Ben had managed to capture a pig. That left one remaining pig in the house. Just then the last pig came swooshing into the hall. He couldn’t see where he was going because one of Mrs. Young’s velvet pillows was stuck over his head.
Mary grabbed him just as the pig was swooshing back and forth, trying to knock off the pillow from his head. She then escorted the distraught pig back to his pen. When the all the pigs were back, safely in their pens, Mary finally breathed a sigh of relief.


The Young family then toured the house and gazed at the mess the pigs had made. The house was in disarray. Food lay on the kitchen floor, a mud trail ran throughout the house, and stuffing from the couch pillows were scattered everywhere and Mary's clothes were strewn about in her room all over the floor. Laughter began to spread throughout the house. It started with little Ivy as she entered with jam and egg yoke all over her face and hands. Then Ben started in with laughter while picking pillow stuffing out of his hair and nostrils. Mr. And Mrs. Young couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. Mary herself began to laugh as Ben pointed out the small bald spot remaining on top of Mary’s head, a battle wound left over from the fierce clothes hanger.


While the Young family was cleaning up, Mrs. Young, turned toward Mary and said,
“I’m proud of you, Mary. Accident’s happen all the time, but you were able to take charge of the situation and got the pigs out of the house.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Mary said in a relieved tone.
The Young family had just cleaned up, when they saw Grandma Young come running out of the bathroom, waiving around the toilet brush at a chicken who must have gotten loose. Grandma was hollering, "Keep that chicken out of the bathroom!"
The Young's once again burst out laughing.
"Who said living on a farm was dull?" Mary asked.


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