Beer vs. American Idol

All I can think of is a beer. While my thoughts are consumed by this I am trying to steady myself enough to not hit the toilet seat with my stream of urine. If I fail at this task I will catch hell from the old lady. Absurdity will be the order of the day today.

I cannot consume beer fast enough to drown out the white noise of my existence. I am forced to endure American Idol. My beer is my only salvation. Due to this, I have no confidence in America as a nation, ideal, or abstraction. If this is the height of our culture, if this is what we offer the world, then we should be damned.

And, I believe we will be. If there is a hell we will be on the express elevator.