'Mum Presentation Night'

Mum Presentation Nite



You talkin bout dem boyfriend situations........Jus las nite Luster dun had Mum Presentation Nite.... ober to da house. Now Luster thought a Mum wuz a little ole wite flower, wut peoples wears on they lapel. Naw.!......Hell Naw!.......A Mum be's sumthing wut takes bout $80.00 worth of supplies and a hole weekend to make. Da girl den giv it to da boy wut takin her to da prom and he wear it rapped round his arm all da next day, at da school-house.

Well it seem dat givin da boy his Mum be a big deal......So Luster’s girl twins dun decided dat dey gonna have 4 friends ober and dey all gonna do da Mum presenting to they dates, ober to Luster’s house. Well dat meant dat da yard had to be lookin nice..... so Luster had to get him two peoples to come hep em pick up all da junk wut he dun left laying round and all da stuff wut Luster’s dog had dun chewd up. Den Luster had to get da house cleant up, cause dem girls don't pick up nuthin round da house,.....cept da telephone ......wut be ranging ….all day long...........

Well when Luster got home da day of da Mum Presentin.....dem girls started in on em...... givin em his marchin orders and stuff..... Da first thang dey mentioned wuz bout his wine consumption limit.… Next thang wuz dat his clothes wut he had dun been wearin all day....... wuz all wrong ....and dat he needed a shower, cause of sum body odor wut dun accompanied him ….into da house.

Now..... cause nun of da boys wuz ole enuff to drive, dat meant dat all dey mamma's wuz coming...... as wuz all da girls mamma's. So Luster had dun been sent to Kroger's .....to get sum or-derves and sum good wine..... cause they wouldn’t allow Luster to serve no Winking Owl Wine.... to nun a they friends, mammas…

Well after Luster dun took a scrub, he put on sum clean pants an a shirt, wut had sum starch on it. His job fer da ebenin, wuz to answer da door, serve da wine and make small talk wit da mammas....... but don't dare talk to nun of da girls or da boys..... and by no means do anythang...... wut wood embarrass dem girl twin chillens of his.

Well, bout a hour into da party, dem boys an girls be doing alot of laughin and carryin on............ Luster wuz making conversation wit a couple of da mammas when da oldest twin come over and interrupt, saying she need to talk to Luster……. Luster sayed.... "Don't be interupting me wile I is tellin my story"……...She look serious and say.."But Daddy I really need to talk to you about something….. right now."...... "In a minute, honey", and he went on telling da story. Well after a wile when he had dun finished wit da story....... and also had dun reached his wine limit …..fer da ebenin, he excused hisself and slipped into his closet ......where he keeps his……. double, top secret, emergency, bottle of Winking Owl Wine,…. in his hunting coat....

Well as eberbody know..... da mo wine you drinks, da younger and better lookin you gets, so as Luster wuz coming out of da bedroom, he passed da big ole mirrow in da hall and decided to take a peek ………jus to see how much younger and better looking, he really dun got..............
Wut he seen wuz a…. ole, wore-out man, wut had dun been standin round all nite, talkin to da mammas ..........wit his pants unzipped.............
'Big Trouble in Lusterville'.................