Constant Change

The darkening clouds overhead filled the sky with the moist anticipation of a long rainstorm. In the distance, thunder rumbled...low and gentle, like the purr of a great lion. The trees plastered bright greens against the blackening sky, and the wind whipped its chilly fingers across the faces of frilly flowers along the sidewalks.

Mariah dropped her cream-colored carpet bag onto the floor of the car and stuffed the last of her personal belongings into the trunk. In the backseat, a tiny kitten with a red bow stretched its legs and meowed fretfully. Mariah slid into the driver's seat and slammed the door just as the first crash of lightning erupted across the sky- CRASH!!! Frightened, the kitten leapt into the front seat and whimpered as Mariah turned the ignition key and set off down the road.

Rain began to soak the windowpanes as she drove directly into the face of the storm. The windshield wipers clicked rapidly in rhythm to the pounding of her heart. As she approached the familiar intersection, she froze in the shadows of the soggy, crossing roads. Taking a pained and heavy breath, she turned away from the familiar signs that would guide her home, knowing where the new one would lead, but fearing it all the same.

She drove, not knowing what she would say. She drove cautiously and carefully, avoiding the whippings of the wind, avoiding bumps, cracks, and puddles in the road. She took her time as the car bumbled across the wet tarmac and considered turning around with every spin of the car's wheels. She drove, her gaze seriously set upon the path ahead, but avoided driving any further down the street. Instead, she pulled into the cracked old driveway with the dented mailbox and rickety fence.

The house was dark in the storm's eerie light. Dim lights could be seen through the windows where the curtains once had hung. The windows were closed and a softer music was heard from the back of the house. The lawn was left unmowed and the picnic table had recently been disassembled. She scooped up the kitten in her arms, went to the door and knocked three times.

She could hear his footsteps stumbling down the hallway. She knew he was not expecting any guests, much less her. Still, she waited. The rain came down heavy upon her face and hair. Her pretty lavender blouse was soaked halfway through, and she was embarrassed to think that she would look like a drowned rat when finally he would open the door. The kitten squirmed impatiently in her arms. The lock turned slowly, and the door opened to reveal his face.

His tired brown eyes expressed something of complete and utter surprise when he saw her standing there. Uttering casual words of welcome, he ushered her hastily inside and ran down the hall to fetch her a towel. The kitten, having had enough of this day's monkeyshine, scampered after him in hopes of some dinner.

"I'm sorry I took so long to come to the door," he remarked as he ambled back with the towel. "Been so busy lately, guess I lose track of the world around me. I hope you're not too wet."

"It's all right," she replied calmly, meeting his gaze with a comfortable smile. "You weren't expecting me."

"I wasn't expecting anyone. If I had known you were coming, I'd have left more unpacked so that you would at least have someplace to sit. Well," he broke off, as if remembering something important, "I suppose you'd better come into the kitchen. It's warmer, and at least there I can offer you some tea."

They walked down the hall and into the kitchen, him leading the way. Passing through the living room, she noticed the bare walls where the couch and stereo used to sit. She wrapped her towel closer round her and hastily settled herself at the kitchen table.

"So," he said conversationally as he put some water on the stove to boil, "What brings you here on such a surprise visit?"

She hesitated a moment, a thousand answers dancing in her head. I was in the neighborhood? No. Forgot to give you back something? No. Just wanted to see you one last time? Absolutely not.

"I've, um, been trying to find a good home for this lost kitten. No one seems to want to take her. Figured you could use a companion on your road to discovering new horizons."

He turned to look at her briefly, then turned back to turn off the stove. "She got a name?"

"None that I know of."

"Don't have a place yet, you know."

"Oh."

"Still," he laughed as he scooped the pesky kitten up from her snooping about in the cabinets, "she's got character."

Just like you, he thought in the back of his head. Their warm conversation died into an icy, awkward silence. Thunder crashed and the lights flickered as Mariah cast an uncomfortable glance to the kitchen window.

"Well," she commented after a few moments, "if you like her, then that's that. I'll leave her with you and be on my way. Saves me a lot of trouble, it does, if you'll have her."

"Sure," was all he could manage to say without sounding like a complete idiot. Mariah rose to leave. "Well, good seeing you, and best of luck."

"You haven't had your tea yet," he remarked, turning to look into her beautiful blue opal eyes. "Why don't you stay a while? Weather's awful."

"I guess I could. Sure."

He moved to the table, placed a steaming hot mug of crisp mint leaf tea in front of her place, and a tall glass of amber beer at his. They sat down slowly, memorizing the looks on each others' faces, wondering where the conversation would lead. The rain pounded in desperation against the weak shingles in the roof, and Mariah could hear the dripping of rainwater coming from behind the bedroom door. Taking a casual swig of the froth atop his frosty glass, Cal broke the silence.

"So, Queen Mariah," he chuckled wistfully as he leaned back in his chair, "got big plans to fulfill that business world domination of yours? Should be easy with your old pal Cal finally out of the way."

"A detailed day-by-day calendar, in fact," came the intoned sarcastic reply. "I'll be riding the backs of the best-in-shows in no time. You'd best watch it." She sipped her tea calmly, showed no sign of distress, no rise in her voice.

He laughed warmly, feigned a look of terror. "Oh, no, what am I to do?" She smiled back at him, stirring her index finger in the increasingly aromatic cup of tea. He always knew how to make her smile, even if it was only to protect her from herself.

"And you, tough guy?" she retorted silkily. "What's out there in the big world for you?"

"Don't know yet," he shrugged, "but I'm bound to find out once I hit the road. Strange though, I've gotten so comfortable here. Everything's familiar...everything makes sense. Seems an awful shame to cast it off. But," he finished with some hesitancy, "everyone's gotta shove off sometimes."

"Yes," she commented quietly, "everyone's gotta shove off sometimes." He caught her nostalgic gaze towards the floor and felt it catch in his own throat. Something in his heart clicked, and he took her hand in his.

"It's gonna be all right, you know. You're gonna be fine. You always have been."

"I know," she said carefully, not willing to meet the intensity of those big brown eyes. "I'd be a fool to be afraid."

"You'd be a fool not to."

"I suppose."

Silence, heavier and deeper before, hovering with the weight of tears that threatened to fall in each eye. Not here, they warned themselves. Not now. Not ever. There's too much at stake, there's too much to risk. No.

Mariah swallowed the last bit of tea in her cup. It stung with heat as it hit her soft palate. "Well, I guess I'll be going, then. It really was good to see you. Stay in touch, won't you?"

"Of course."

She headed toward the door again, meandered down the hallway with great composure despite the tears that burned in her eyes. He stood to follow her, found himself reaching for her shoulder. He was about to cross the line and there would be no turning back. Completely vulnerable, he grasped her arm and turned her gently round to face him. She choked in surprise and felt a hot tear fall from her face. Heart overflowing with emotion, he caressed her cheek and brushed the tear gently from her face.

"No one need ever know, would they?" he whispered, meekly and cautiously. "I mean, you would never say anything to anyone, would never do anything to jeopardize...I would never do anything to hurt you or your career."

"We can't. You know we can't, I know we can't. I'm committed, Cal. I have a dream in my heart and a boy who's promising to be my fiancee in a year. We can't do this."

"What harm would it do us? You want to, don't you? Mariah?"

"Yes, but I- things change, Cal."

"Then let it be our last celebration of it together."

He swept her into a magnificent kiss, full with the ripeness and warmth of his mouth. All those nights she had dreamed of losing herself in these luscious lips came exploding forward in her head, gushing through her veins in pure adrenaline and lust. She stumbled on the hardwood floor, slippery from her dramatic entrance from the rain, and he caught her, carried her gently to the center of the empty living room.

"I want to make love to you, Mariah. I want to make love to you as no man has ever made love to a woman before. I've wanted you since the day we met, but I never thought that two people who work side by side every day could ever allow themselves to feel that way about each other. I can't stop it, Mariah. I want you, and I can't change that."

She said nothing, only slid her rough little hands over his muscular shoulders and pulled him deeper into the kiss. He began to undress her, marveling at the perfect moonbeam white skin beneath her soggy blouse. He reached behind her back and unhooked her bra as she reached for his collar and tore hungrily at the starched shirt that hid his sunkissed torso. Naked, they tumbled about on the hardwood floor, desperate to caress and to taste every inch of each others' bodies.

The storm continued to rage into the night as a bolt of lightning struck a mile up the road, plunging the seemingly empty house into complete and total darkness. As the wind roared against the house, Mariah wrapped her pale silhouette round her sturdy protector, her constant. Cal consumed her like a rabid wolf, hungry with desire, and she just as desperate to reach him. In a moment that seemed to throw the entire heavens into chaos, he plunged into her supple virginity, and she thought for sure that angels would topple from the skies and the dead would awaken in the woods.

Hours passed as they drove each other through the night, passion meeting passion with pure fire and the wild psychotic desire to remain what they were. As she rose to every climax, crying out his name as loud as she was able, he toppled to her beauty and spilled out inside her. The evening rocketed through them like a wild rollercoaster. They laughed together as they stumbled over each others' limbs to get comfortable, they cried together as they recounted the memories of their short and intense friendship, one by one. By the break of dawn, they lay, exhausted and complete, in the arms of one another- one moment that was completely perfect, frozen like a picture in time.

They rose the next morning in silence, picked up their clothes from the floor and dressed in confidence of one another. They did not speak as he scrambled eggs in the kitchen and rifled through his drawers for his plane ticket. She ate as though every bite choked her, the bacon and toast sitting like chalk in her mouth. Not once did they look up at each other from across the kitchen table.

As Cal walked her to her car, a strange sadness emphasized the grey, empty atmosphere of the morning sky. The silence broke one last time as they met each others' gaze for a final time.

"Don't forget about me, all right?" came the lighthearted, casual voice, though it faltered in great trepidations. He drew a crumpled old photo from his coat pocket and handed it to her. It was the photo she had taken of them on her first big day on the job.

"Change. It's what got us here. It's what brings us back sometimes. But it takes change to go anywhere." He drew her close, wrapped his arms around her and felt the quiet sobs she was trying desperately to repress. The tears that had long since threatened to fall since the hour she stepped through his door now came easily from his own eyes. One last kiss, and now it was over.

"Thank you for changing me, Mariah."

She got in her car and drove down the road. Along the way, she saw the aftermath of the storm strewn about the major intersection- downed power lines and soggy leaves strewn about the ground. Behind her car, a soft thud marked the sound of a large tree limb collapsing before Cal's street. Backwards and forwards both lead in directions she knew, but she could take neither now. Flicking her blinker in the lefthand direction, she drew a deep breath and forged forward in the direction of a new path. Change, she thought. We must always accept it. It's what takes us places.

I wonder where it's going to take me now.