A Simple Gesture

A Simple Gesture

There was a loud splash as an Asian teenage girl jumped off the bus and unfortunately landed in a puddle. She hurried out of the way as the bus drove by, splashing more water at her feet. She stared at her feet and growled in desperate frustration. Today just wasn’t her day. And it also seemed that every day just wasn’t her day.

No matter how hard she tried to please them, her parents always found something wrong with her and called her on it. It was either she couldn’t keep her grades up, or she didn’t have any proper manners, or she was a slob in her room. Was there anything right about her at all? She had lost count how many times she had wished she weren’t Asian, because right now, her nationality was controlling her life.

She was a little on the short side, as her friend Kent liked to point out whenever he could. He was much taller than she was, by more than a head, and he never lost an opportunity to tease her about her height. She knew it was all in good fun but at times she still wished she were taller. Her hair was of the midnight color and her eyes were a deep chocolate color, just like all the other Asians had. What she hated most about face was the thick-rimmed glasses that settled upon the bridge of her nose. She hated them with a passion. Not only were they uncomfortable and bothersome, but they made her look ugly.

Her friends had told her many times that she was pretty just as she was, but she knew they were lying. They were her friends after all. They had only said it out of an obligation to being her friend. Besides, if that were the case, then why hadn’t a stranger pointed out the fact that she was pretty? It was because of her glasses. They made people turn away. And she hated it.

Kim Chen. Even her name repulsed her. She distinctly remembered a period in her childhood where people had given her the nickname ‘Kitchen’ since it sounded like Kim Chen when said really fast. It wasn’t that she was fat; no, she was of average weight but more on the skinny side but the fact remained that she just really enjoyed eating.

Kim took the bottom edges of her shirt and wrung out the dirty water before continuing down a dirt path she frequently took. Before long, she had arrived at the edge of a cliff. It was fenced off along with barbed wire. She pressed her forehead against it, trying to see as much of the edge as she could.

She could easily climb over the wire and jump off. Jump to her death. Her head would probably crack in two and blood would seep out. She shuddered at the thought but then brightened slightly. Would she even feel it? Of course not. She’d be dead in an instant and anything that happened to her body afterwards would be nothing to her. It was certainly an option, wasn’t it? She raised one foot and nestled it safely in a hole in the fence but then stopped.

She sighed. So what was she waiting for?

Your parents would be devastated.

They would not and you know it.

Your brothers would be devastated.

She snorted. Yeah, right. They’re too busy trying to be like my egotistical father to care.

Your friends would be devastated.

Well, in case you haven’t noticed, most of them hate me now because of what I did. And it wasn’t even my fault.

People in school would be devastated.

You’re joking, right? They all only see me as a nerd, someone who locks herself in her room to study all day. Nothing I say will convince them otherwise. If they heard I died, they’d probably only wonder why I didn’t do it earlier.

There was a pause. Sam would be devastated.

He wouldn’t, she thought softly. He has a girlfriend now anyway.

You’re still his friend.

“Stop trying to convince me!” she cried aloud.

“Convince you of what?”

She gasped in surprise and whirled around, hands still clutched around the barbed wire fence. He was a stranger, no doubt. Someone she didn’t know, though he did seem to be a couple years older than she was. He had dark brown hair and seemed to be of about average height, but to Kim, who was short for her age, he was pretty darn tall.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked, trying to conceal the fear she felt. No way was she letting this man have an advantage.

He gave a small lop-sided grin. “I could ask you the same question.”

“I asked you first.”

He stepped closer and she tried stepping back, only to remember that she was against the fence and had nowhere to go. “That you did.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around. “I usually come here for peace and quiet. Plus, I like looking out on the ocean. It’s pretty, especially if you come around when the sun sets.” He shrugged. “Makes me wish I could fly.”

She didn’t say anything.

His eyes flashed to her foot on the side of the fence before coming back to look at her. “So what were you doing?”

She flinched when she remembered why she had been there in the first place. “I – I – ” Her eyes were wide and she had the expression of a deer caught in the headlights.

He put up a hand to stop her. “Never mind. Shouldn’t have asked. It’s not my business.” He stepped a little closer and sat down on the ground, unaware of the confused look that was now upon her face. He looked up at her and patted the ground next to him. “Sit with me?”

She still didn’t move.

“Come on,” he said, waving her over. “I won’t bite. I promise.”

She hesitated for a moment before obliging and taking the seat next to him. For a long silence, neither of them said anything. One of them continued to stare at the ground in front of her while the other was gazing appreciatively at the beautiful environment surrounding him.

“How old are you?” he finally asked, turning his head to look at her.

“Eighteen,” she said softly without even looking at him.

“Cool. I’m twenty and currently a sophomore at Towson University. Eric Samson, at your service,” he said, offering his hand.

She stared at it for a moment.

He chuckled. “This is the part where you shake it and introduce yourself.”

She couldn’t help but crack a small grin. “Kim Chen,” she said, shaking his hand tentatively.

“You planning on going to college next year?”

“No I was – ” She caught herself before she revealed anything more. “Yes, I was. I was going to go to Towson myself, actually.” It was the truth. She would have wanted to go there if she hadn’t planned on throwing herself off that cliff that stood a few feet in front of her.

“Really? That’s great. Maybe I can come visit you and we could hang out.”

“Sorry. I – I mean, nothing against you, but I don’t even know you,” she said apologetically.

“So? We’re talking right now, right? Don’t tell me you think a friendship can’t work out of this.” He peered closer at her, causing her to turn her face. She hated being the object of minute inspection. It made her feel like a lab rat.

“I guess.”

“So, any boyfriends?”

She shook her head.

“Really?” he asked, not bothering to mask the surprise in his tone.

“What’s so surprising about that?”

“Nothing. Well, I mean, how could you not have a boyfriend? First of all, you’re really nice and second of all, you’re really pretty – ” He stopped himself. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. If it bothered you, then I’m sorry.”

She shook her head once again, to tell him he hadn’t said anything wrong and to also try to shake the surprise in her mind. He had called her pretty? He was only a stranger. Hadn’t she just resigned herself to the fact that she was ugly because no one outside of her friends had said anything? And here was a stranger, a man no less, who had called her pretty. Had she been wrong?

“Hey, Kim, what do you think the meaning of life is?”

She was glad her head was turned away from his or else he would’ve seen her eyes widen. What kind of question was that? It was as if he knew what she had been trying to do earlier.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, come on, you must have some idea. Don’t you have parents or friends who just tell you random things and make you think?”

“My parents…they think that life is all about success,” she said slowly. “Back in China, their home country, they didn’t know what a B was because the only grades they ever got were A’s. And now they have successful careers.”

“They want the same for you.”

“Yeah. But it isn’t working. They wanted me to go to Harvard or Yale or something equally as prestigious, but my grades just weren’t what they wanted. And it doesn’t help that my brothers right now have straight A’s too. And all my parents do is rip on me and how I’m lazy and how I don’t try hard enough in school. But the thing is, I do try hard. I try really hard. But I just can’t seem to get my grades to the point where they like it.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

He suddenly took her hand in his and patted it sympathetically. “My parents were almost the same as yours, actually. They wanted me to be someone important and they figured that if I didn’t go to an Ivy League school, then I would be nobody. But then my girlfriend, I’ve been with her for two years now, she once told me something really inspiring and it made me forget about my parents.”

“What’d she tell you?”

“She told me that the whole success thing? It was my parents’ version of success and that every person has their own definition of success and I just had to go out into the world to find it. She said she had seen a quote somewhere that said ‘Success – Don’t do what you like, like what you do.’ And I totally believe that. Say you had gone to Harvard but it wasn’t to your liking. Would you stay there to please your parents or go somewhere else to please yourself?”

“I’d…” She realized she didn’t have an answer.

“I’ve realized something in my twenty years of life. Nothing I do will please my parents. They’ll always have a higher standard that you just can’t seem to reach. And these standards, not everybody is supposed to reach them. Everyone has their place in life and some of them is to be content with where they are.” He looked at her. “You could be content with who you are. You don’t have to have everyone else’s approval to live life. Be happy with who you are and you’ll get through life just fine.”

Kim didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say.

“That’s what my girlfriend told me and later I thought, you know what? She’s right. I could just be myself and be happy because you know how much stress it would be to try to please my parents every second of the day? I could never do that. It’s in their nature to beat down on us, but only because they want us to realize that there’s something better out there. And we should go after it. But under our own circumstances and not theirs.”

The next few minutes were filled with silence as each stared out into the ocean. Kim looked away and blinked rapidly, trying to withhold her tears. Who was this man, Eric Samson? Why had he spoken to her as if he cared about her, even when he didn’t know her? Did he know how much he had just influenced her life?

She felt him stand up next to her. “Well, looks like I have to go. I have a dinner date with my girlfriend and I’d rather not break it off,” he joked. “You take care of yourself and look for me when you get to Towson next year, okay? There’s some student directory on the school website and just look up Eric Samson. S-A-M-S-O-N, in case you forget how to spell it,” he said with a wink.

She shook her head and smiled up at him. “Shut up, I’m not that stupid.”

“Of course you’re not.” He stepped towards the path back to the bus stop. “So I’ll see you around, right? Hopefully?”

She hesitated. “Yeah. Hopefully.”

He grinned. “It was great talking to you.”

“Thanks.”

He tilted his head in confusion. “For what?”

She shrugged. “Just…thanks.”

He smiled. “No problem. I’m glad I met you.”

Kim watched him as he disappeared before making her way towards the fence once again. The sun hadn’t started setting yet but the birds were still flying happily around above the water and the water shimmered spectacularly.

You could be content with who you are. You don’t have to have everyone else’s approval to live life. Be happy with who you are and you’ll get through life just fine.

She smiled out into the ocean before turning her back on the fence and walking away.

Maybe Eric wasn’t a real person. Maybe he was an angel, sent down by God to keep her alive. Or maybe, he was just a genuinely nice person who had just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” – Anonymous