SILVIE

SILVIE

There are no 'long long ago' or 'once upon a time' sort of opening statements to this story. It is still a damp memory that put much life into my perennial active life. Life seems quite short, but memories make it complete. Memories make life seem big enough to handle, but sad enough to leave behind footprints of people who touch our life and move ahead.

As I reflect into the past, two years passed by.......It was one of those humid and damp days in Thiruvananthapuram. I was at the St.Peter's Church. Pap(I call my sweet Papa with this name) and mama were happy beyond bounds and sad at the same time that I would be leaving them. I was bogged down by questions. Are studies far important than living with kith and kin? Can I accustom myself with the new ambience? How badly will I miss Cherian, Ryan and Jenny!!!! Tears were never so memorable until that day…the day when I left home to pursue my studies at IIIT Hyderabad.

I was never ditched of the memories of the back waters of the Alleppey. Cherian, Ryan, Jenny and myself went on a vacation to Alleppey. We got a gondola kind of well-furnished cottage-on-the-river and were making ourselves comfortable. There was this cute girl Maggie on the boat to assist us. Dark and tall, but lean, she attracted my attention at the first sight. Maggie was never at school. She had a flair for studies, but succumbing to grave circumstances at home, she could not afford to get basic education. God damn it!!!! What is wrong with God? Maggie is ardently craving for basic education while most of my classmates do not give a damn thought to why they are studying. May be this is the irony of life.

I had a good time on the boat and learnt more about Maggie. While parting, I ran back and hugged Maggie and gave her some of my comic books. She may not know how to read, but deep in my heart I felt that she will read them someday. I reached home drenched to the core. Mama scolded me for getting drenched, but Pap winked at me and enquired about my vacation. I ranted and ranted until I was famished. Then I told him about Maggie and asked Pap if we could help Maggie with her studies. Voila!!!! Pap took my hand and kissed it. Mama kissed and hugged me. All three of us sat there in each other's embrace and let the silence of the hour seep through us. Late that night, Pap came to my room and told that the next day we would go and meet Maggie. He also told that mama and himself decided to adopt her. Pap never entertained the idea of adopting another baby since the death of Sana, even though mama never ceased her requests.

I woke up to the tunes of cuckoos sitting on my bedroom's window's sill. Pap and mama were more exited about bringing Maggie home. I had the quickest bath I ever could recollect and sprinted out to the hallway and found Pap and mama waiting for me. Off we went in our Safari to Alleppey. We all were grappled by feelings which were never new…. anticipation, joy and fear of fate. Mama did not attend the morning Mass and Pap hummed all through the journey.

It is a new day, with all the glory of the Lord waiting to embrace you, move on, move ahead, nothing can stop you. Move on, move ahead, nothing can stop you…

I was deeply engrossed in writing my praises to Lord when the car screeched to a sudden halt. Our car hit a kitten and nearly killed it. The whimpering kitten laid motionless and for a moment I felt my heart throbbing against my throat. Mama took the kitten and did first-aid. Its soft fluffy white fur was tarnished and it was shivering. I touched it tenderly, but it didn’t budge a little. What a poor soul it must be!!!! I took my blanket and draped it around the kitten, though it was too heavy on her.

Our car slowly gained momentum. We reached Alleppey and went to the backwater yard where we rented the boat on our vacation. I still remember the poke-marked puckered face of the man who owned the boats. He had long whiskers, which he proudly displayed by touching them all the time, and wore a checked lungi(a lungi is a South Indian casual dress, which is tied around the waist and dangled to touch the feet. Mostly worn by men). He looked like a klutz and demanded more for the services he offered us.

Pap greeted the klutz and enquired about the whereabouts of Maggie. From the edge of his eye I saw something dribbling down his gruff cheek. It was when he turned to face us that I comprehended that he was crying. Beyond muffled voice I heard him utter those words which still echo in my ears She died. I couldn’t believe those words till date. Everything happened in a day. The other day she was quite alive and the next day she was dead. Is it the irony of life???

Maggie succumbed to snake bite.

Pap was distraught. Mama closed her eyes and I never knew whether she prayed or cried silently. That was when I uttered out my first words in hate of the Lord.

"Pap. When is it that we lost Sana? Now it is Maggie. Before taking her into our family why did we lose her??? Why do we pray to God? Why do we need the rosary? Why do we have to face all this in the name of the God? Why is Samuel Uncle always spewing blood?"

Pap pulled our car to a stop at the Perumal hotel. I enjoyed medu wada(a south Indian eatable) over there, every time I went on a vacation to Alleppey. But that time I ran and sat under the grand old banyan tree. Pap came and sat beside me and took my hand into his.

"Susi, God is the Creator. What all he creates is magnificent. But what all he creates on this earth can not stay forever on this earth. Some people like Sana, Maggie have to go early. It is part of his plan to keep them safe in Heaven rather than on earth."

"Why doesn’t he call me to his Heaven so early?"

"Because you make life Heaven to some people on earth. Love everything that is around you and love unconditionally. Everything is transient on this earth. But what wins over this transience is only love. See what your mama is doing. She is feeding that kitten which means nothing to her. Do you love that kitten?"

I did not reply as I was thinking whether I loved that kitten or not.

"You are thinking. But mama never had second thoughts about loving a kitten. She loves everything under the sun. I am amazed by the quantity of love God has poured into His Creation. Love begets love and is the only cause for our survival. The consequence might be either happy or sad, but love each and every consequence. Then you will love God."

"Thank you Pap. Thank you so much"

It is a new day, with all the glory of the Lord waiting to embrace you, move on, move ahead, nothing can stop you. Move on, move ahead, nothing can stop you…

These are the same words I wrote two years back. Many things in life changed. Thoughts traced back to days I spent in Thiruvananthapuram. Pap. Mama. Cherian. Ryan. Jenny. Those green fields. Damp days. And here comes my dear Silvie. Oops..I did not introduce my Silvie to you. Silvie is my darling kitten from Alleppey.