The Legend of the Emerald Bottle Twins

         There exist throughout all of Erin many tales of the wee folk, the Druids, fairies and leprechauns that flit and flirt about the countryside. Many of these popular legends are contained in the Lebor Gabala, or Book of Conquests. Every once in a great while, in amongst the lore of a small village in the lowlands, one will discover a tale that was missed by the Irish monks of the Middle Ages. The delightful story of the twins Tavish and Angus is one such legend.
         During the ancient mythological time of long ago, when King Conchobar ruled at Ulster, there lived a great Irish hero named Cuchulainn. Cuchulainn was the son of Lug, the sun god. At the age of seven, he wounded the fierce watchdog of the house of Culan, and was charged with protecting the vulnerable house, thus his name means "The Hound of Culan." Cuchulainn grew in the knowledge of the sacred forests and caves of the Druids and was favored among the gods. His strength, poetry and magic pleased the gods and he became their champion.
         Cuchulainn's most famous adventure, The Cooley Cattle Raid, was his last. Queen Mave of Connaught launched a raid upon Ulster, and attempted to capture the famous and sacred brown bull. Cuchulainn valiantly but hopelessly fought off the invading forces. The bull was captured. The King's forces, which included Tavish and Angus, arrived belatedly and succeeded in driving Queen Mave's men out of the country, thus rescuing Cuchulainn and the brown bull. However, all was not well as Queen Mave, a demigoddess, was furious and vowed revenge.
         Several years later, while on a foolhardy adventure in the highlands, the strong and gifted Cuchulainn met his doom. An excellent leader, the hero had attracted a small but worthy army of men. Angus and Tavish had joined forces with Cuchulainn after the Cattle Raid. The good-hearted twins had pledged at an oak tree eternal loyalty to Cuchulainn, as he had saved their lives from the treacherous waters of Derwent. From thence they experienced many adventures together.
         While exploring the sacred caves of the Druids one night at midnight several years later, the three encountered a mystical and wretched woman. The woman, Queen Mave in a disguise provided by the powers of the magical mistletoe, captured and absconded Cuchulainn as he retreated from inside one of the hidden caves. His men quickly followed, but Mave had devised a series of obstacles, which detained the men. Cuchulainn, tied to a pillar, was held by Queen Mave in the middle of one of the forests in her domain. The evil wizard Catalin, at the bidding of Mave, carried out various forms of supernatural torture. Spell after spell was weaved and ancient runes were produced, while the fair headed twins looked on from behind the shrubbery. Their hearts were breaking for their beloved friend, and they desperately devised a rescue plan.
         "Let us use the remaining mistletoe to save our dear friend," suggested Tavish, with a small bit of remorse.
         "Yes," replied his brother. "And I will call upon Lug to come to the aid of his servants Tavish and Angus to help his faithful son. Surely he will not allow his son, Cuchulainn, to die at the hands of Queen Mave and a sorcerer."
         And so the brothers bravely and humbly set upon their tasks. They were dully aware that success was not realistically in sight, but they said silently to themselves, "Our lives are not worth living without our brother, Cuchulainn. We will die for him."
         They brandished their weapons, spears and rocks, and proceeded to launch their meager attack. Overpowered by the forces of the magical world, the twins were captured by Mave. Contained within a fairy ring of her power, they were forced to witness the suffering death of Cuchulainn. A banshee, with red eyes blazing, flew through the forest screaming her blood-curdling threnody.
         Now Queen Mave turned her attention on the fair twins, who were struggling within the fairy ring. And so with arms stretched wide, the beautiful but evil Queen used her magic to punish Angus and Tavish. "By all the evil demons and forces of the bog, I weave an eternal web of imprisonment around these two disgustingly good men. Surround them! Overcome them! Engulf them! Forever drown them in the raging waters of Derwent! Diminish their goodness! Wipe away their strength! I, Queen of this evil ring, command it!"
         And instantly Angus and Tavish once again found themselves in the waters of Derwent. However, this time there was no loyal friend to save the generous and loving twins. Cuchuliann was dead and the twins despaired. The promises of the incantation were executed. The twins were shrunken and imprisoned in a bottle of the freezing waters of Derwent.
         Lug, the sun god, had heard their plea but had been powerless to do anything during the witching time of midnight. At noon Lug hastened to help the honorable twins, but his powers could not overcome the spell. He was, however, able to turn them into leprechauns. The sun shone brightly down upon Angus and Tavish. The waters warmed and soon turned a soothing emerald green. Their pain left them and a cheery disposition was bestowed upon them. Lug placed within the bottle a piece of sunshine for both Angus and Tavish.
         And ever since Angus and Tavish have joyfully dived into the waters of the Emerald Bottle to retrieve their gold. On very special Irish days of great friendship and love, you may see one or --if your really lucky-- two little men with long, flowing, green hair and shamrock boxer shorts delivering gold at the end of some rainbow.