Introducing: Tracer Bullitt

Note: The name of my detective is inspired by one of the characters that Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame used as one of his alter egos during his exploits. My version of Tracer Bullitt has nothing to do with that character outside of the name. I've recently created him as one of the supporting cast members for my wrestling alter ego and his exploits.
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Introducing: Tracer Bullitt (Bullitt Points: Pt. 1)

Bullitt Point, February 22nd, 2006.

I've been keepin' tabs on Mr. Pinex for the last few months now. What I've learned in my observations is that he's an obsessive workaholic. The man trains almost constantly. That's way too much dedication for ya. If ya ask me, that boy needs to pause for a few days to smell the roses. What friends he hangs out with are wrestlers... There's his twin brother that rides 'round the world with him, too. Outside of his family and an occasional extra-curricular activity involvin' his hobby, his whole world revolves around wrestling.

I've been trailin' him since early December. That ain't an easy task by any stretch of the imagination, if ya ask me. A job like that requires you to go all over the world at a moment's notice. Luckily, I've got contacts all over. One of the perks of my job. That's one of the reasons why Tracer Bullitt always gets his man.

Pinex seems to be straight enough. He's got serious anger management issues... No hotel room is safe when he's stayin' there. His twin brother's been tryin' to do damage control... Talk about findin' the wrong guy for the job. Any way... The man's got no time to get himself in any real trouble... He's too much in love with his job for that to happen. He's so engrossed in his work that he doesn't have a damn clue that somebody wants his head on the proverbial silver platter, if ya know what I mean.

I was called on the case at the end of November. Apparently, Mr. Pinex has some unfinished and unresolved business with a former girlfriend from college. At least, I think she's an old girlfriend. She claims that they were just best friends but she keeps talking about how he fucked her and left her in the cold. Polish chick... Must have been a runner or something, cuz her calves are thick as hell. Looks like she's a partier. Smokes like 10 chimneys... After workin' for her for a little while now, I can tell she isn't right. If ya ask me, she's a few pecans short of a pie, if you know what I mean. Any way, she called me cuz she knows I'm the best. That's right... Tracer Bullitt always gets his man.

She comes to me sayin' that she wants to find an old friend of hers from college. She gives me the particulars, shows me a pic of the 2 of them together. They looked happy enough, but they sure as hell didn't make a good lookin' couple, if ya know what I mean. I recognized him right away... He's one of those wrestlin' guys... Was on the hunt for Logan Wolffe and the MWA Championship.

I miss the days of real professional wrestling. No storylines, no soap opera drama, no chicks unless they were eye candy. Nowadays, everything is scripted and you can predict what's gonna happen MONTHS in advance. Add the internet and all of the leaks about what's goin' on backstage and they've completely spoiled anybody's fun.

Any way... She hands me this pic and says that she's lookin' for him. Says that she's got to find him so that she can get reacquainted. Turns out that she wants revenge for whatever it is that he did to her way back when. I'm tellin' ya... This broad's elevator ain't goin' to the top floor, if ya know what I mean. I don't get paid to have an opinion, though. I get paid to get the job done. That's right... Tracer Bullitt always gets his man.

Any way, I dug up all that I could on him. No trouble with the law. Nothin' noteworthy outside of his dealings in the wrestlin' industry. He's managed 2 guys in particular to quite a few championships. Became a wrestler himself and is in the middle of his second reign as a World Champion. 2 Tag-Team Title reigns under his belt and a lot of hatred from the fans for what he did to that Ivy chick on pay per view a while back. Nice lookin' chick. Why she takes the abuse from Wolffe, I have no clue. She's obviously around to be eye candy. Oh, well... Some guys get the hot chicks. Me... I get to keep a trio of hot pistols. My sidearms and my cannon, if ya know what I mean.

Any way... Pinex lives in a suburb of St. Paul, Minnesota. Nice apartment complex off a nature preserve. I've been on the property... Not too far from the Twin Cities' hot spots. He's been workin' on his off time at a DJ company in St. Paul... If you like wedding DJ's, he's pretty good. Likes to get out with the crowd and mix it up. I've overheard him bein' called Floor Fucker by some of his coworkers at a couple wedding fairs he's been at. Somethin' to do with some move that he does for a Cha-Cha somethin'-or-other. I've actually seen that in action... Damnedest thing. The ladies eat it up. Makes me think I should learn some of his moves. Not that I'm a slouch with the ladies, if ya know what I mean. That's right... Tracer Bullitt always nails his ladies, too.

Pinex has a wife and 2 kids. The boy is in first grade... The girl is just a few months old. Cute little buggers, if you like kids. I haven't been able to tell what kinda father he is when he's at home... It ain't often that he's at home, though. His wife's a cutie. She works for one of those coffee companies out there. She seems to get along alright with him gone as often as he is. Must be rough trying to raise 2 kids and work when you've got an absentee dad.

I hear those wrestlers can make quite a lot of money, though. If that's the case, Pinex is stingy as hell, if ya know what I mean. The man owns a gym around Minneapolis... Big old trainin' facility. He's the World Champion in a major promotion... He's gotta be rakin' in the dough. But he chooses to live in an apartment and drive a mini-van. I guess that's his attempt to keep it real. Can't take it with you... He should just splurge. I know I would if I was rakin' it in. But I ain't him. Good thing, too, cuz this chick from college creams her panties just thinkin' of the ways that she can destroy his life.

She says that she's gonna take his family away from him, then take his freedom. Well... She's already workin' on his family. I got some pix of him dancin' with a real firecracker that he met at one of those receptions he did back in Minnesota. How she ended up showin' up in Greensboro, I have no clue. Any way, that chick was on him so much, she got me worked up. It was obvious to everybody around that night that she wanted to be the holster for his cannon, if ya know what I mean. No matter what they did that night, she was totally fixated on him. He didn't seem to be havin' any part of it, except on the dance floor. Even then, it seemed like it was more a case of him refusin' to get out-danced than tryin' to get his rocks off. Poor thing... Even if he wasn't married, she wouldn't get anywhere with him. He's married to his job. Now, if she came my way the way she was on him... Tracer Bullitt would get his woman, if ya know what I mean.

I took those pix back to his ex... I'm sorry... His former best friend... I couldn't believe how pissed off she got when she saw the pix of him and the firecracker. She went on a tirade about how he'd pay for fuckin' her... I guess he wasn't a good lay or somethin'. Maybe he was a good lay and she was pissed that he decided not to fuck her again. Either way... I almost pissed my pants when she got on my case about what she was gonna do to him. She took those pix and had me send 'em to his wife. I really hated doin' it, but I don't get paid to have a conscience. I get paid to do my job. On this occasion, my job was to mail what my client wanted mailed. After all, Tracer Bullitt always gets his man.

Right now, my client's plannin' on meetin' the firecracker at her hotel. Says she's got a proposition for her that she probably won't refuse. If I got paid to have a conscience, I'd speak up on Pinex's behalf. I don't get paid to have a conscience... Havin' a conscience doesn't pay the bills. I get paid to be Tracer Bullitt, Private Investigator. I'm the best there is at what I do. After all... Tracer Bullitt always gets his man.