Afraid

Afraid

I hear your voice and I wonder what is that keeps me running back to you. I can’t find my way home, but you are always in my memory. I anticipate your touch, your smell, the way you smile at me, all the while knowing that I’m afraid.

Why didn’t we say what we should have, and done what we needed? Why were we afraid to be who we are? Why were you too afraid to let go of your feelings? Did you not trust me, or love me like you said you did?

I wonder what could have happened, if we weren’t so scared. Where would we be right now, if we took the chance to love and to live? Now, I look to you, afraid to take the chance but needing to be near you.

To feel you love, and to feel you hurt; you know I feel the same way. It’s the way my heartbeats when I think of you, the way I reminisce and dream about what we had and the way we shared more than just our bodies.

To talk to you about everyday life, and wanting you to share in that life. I feel like yours and you feel like mine, but it can never be that way. I’m too afraid to let you go, and so afraid to keep you. Afraid to love you, and more afraid to not want you around. What do I do? Where do I go? How can life be normal, when I’m too scared?

So many whys and we can’t answer the questions. Just to feel your lips on mine one more time, to see your smile one more time. So many things I want to do, but I’m just too afraid.