In The Name of Love And Christ

Who am I? I know who I am but sometimes I forget. Sometimes, in a moment of weakness, I allow others the power to dictate who I am.

So, who am I? I am a child of God. I am his creation and he loves me. He loves me so much that he sent his beloved Son to this earth to die an indescribable death. For ME! For me, he did this so I can return to live with him some day. There is no greater love.

Yes. I am a Christian. I am a follower of Christ. Christ is my redeemer and I know he lives. It was his Atonement that has given me the opportunity to gain eternal salvation in the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet, there are those that tell me I am not a child of God. I am not a Christian. I can’t be. My beliefs are wrong. I am not saved. I am doomed to eternal damnation, they will charge as they proceed in their attempts to methodically rip my belief system apart piece by piece by piece. Their words, tone, attitude, lies, deception, manipulation of truth are all justified in their mind because they do so “out of love for me and by command of God.” They just keep coming at you. They’re like a rabid pack of wolves one is forced to reckon with every day and every day they just keep coming.

These self-proclaimed Christians will tell you that all one must do to be saved is believe and have faith in Jesus the Christ. “I do,” I proclaim. This is where they proceed to point out the fine print. You believe in the wrong Jesus because...You must believe in the Trinity. You don’t have to believe in the Trinity. You must believe in a specific version of the Trinity. You must be baptized. You must not be baptized. You must do good works. You must not do good works. And on it goes like a Merry Go Round. It is enough to make one insane. “But you said all I have to do is believe and have faith in Christ,” I reply. “Well yes, but...” and they start all over.

These are the same ones that think they know what I believe better than I do. When I profess my beliefs to them they begin to correct me and state “no, this is what you believe.” When I correct their misconception they again state “no, this is what you believe.” What? How in the world does anyone know better than I what my beliefs are? They don’t. But it sure does not stop them from being so vain and prideful and arrogant as to proclaim they do. And boy do they. Like a broken record. It’s nonstop. Every day they just keep coming.

Of course, this happens not only to me. Everyone is assaulted everyday by the abusive vitriol spewed by these self-proclaimed Christians who do so out of “love and by command of God.” Do these people not know what they do? Do they not know they are ripping the souls out of people, pushing them away from Christ and God all together.
Do they not understand what they do to the individual they attack and to Christianity itself. Do they not know that God will hold them accountable for every child they lead away from him and the hurt and pain they have caused others? Who are these people that believe themselves so powerful they can usurp the power of God and pass eternal judgments on others. Of course, they claim that’s not what they’re doing. Sure it is. That’s exactly what they are doing, usurping the power of God. Thank goodness they do not possess this power they believe they have.

There are groups that call themselves Christians that vilify other Christians and proceed to crucify them as the Christ, the Apostles and Christians were persecuted in the days of old. By their fruits ye shall know them. I do not believe for one moment that their intent is to bring people to God. They are the wolves that have entered into the fold. They do not come bearing the Good Word of God and Christ. They are liars and deceivers that have come forth to provoke contention, that serve another master.

I don’t know this hateful, vengeful, cruel, spiteful, shallow, confusing Christ they proclaim. For you see, my God is a kind, loving, just, merciful God who wants his children to come home and has provided for us every opportunity to do just that. All one has to do is reach out and grab hold; hang on and endure till the end. This is my God. I love my God. I wish more people knew him.

During those times when my faith may be wavering is when my spirit is most sensitive to these evil forces hiding behind a “Christian” face. I begin to question if God exists. Was there ever a Messiah. I look back on history and recall that Christ is not the first to be born of a virgin and to die on a cross and to be resurrected. I see and hear the hate filled words of those professing to be his and I can not help but wonder if a god ever existed.

During these times I find myself short-tempered, agitated, left with no tolerance, no patience and no love of people. I just want to cut myself off from the world and be left alone. I can feel the spirit of the Holy Ghost being driven away by my thoughts, attitude and actions. It’s not a good feeling and it’s one I must attempt to rectify promptly or it will only get worse. I don’t want that. I miss having the spirit of God with me. I know when he is with me for his presence is such a powerful force, yet oddly subtle and quiet.

Gods of thunder, Gods of wind, Gods of Water, Gods of wrath, Gods of War. There have been so many Gods in our history it’s difficult to remember who is the God of what. But in our Christian world it has been narrowed down. We have but one God and his Son and the Holy Ghost. I have but one God who is also my Father. Who am I? I am his child and no man on this earth has the power to destroy my relationship with my Father, except me. I will hold to the rod and by my fruits God shall know me.