The Day

It was the first Tuesday in October. The ever glowing sun was smiling down on a cluster of students. Smiling, laughing, ever popular were these girls. Popular, maybe because many were afraid of them. If anyone stood in their way, they’d soon be dealt with. It was common knowledge that they hated that girl, the dyke as they called her but I liked her, obviously just as a friend but then again there were them nights in which I could think of nothing but her. It was all innocent though wasn’t it. I didn’t fancy Louise Thompson. I was certain of that.

“Dirty Dyke” the words followed her around, even once alone she could here the echoes of her tormentor’s twisted words, the panic in her eyes, evident, when we passed. Yes I’m ashamed to admit it, I’m one of the abusers, one of a crowd that made Louise’s life hell.

English a class that changed my life. I realised a lot about who I was. I wasn’t like those bullies I was different and proud to be. The door swung open light streamed in; outlining the most amazing person I had ever seen. From that moment I knew. I knew I did fancy Louise. The abuse followed her, Louise, throughout the lesson. Pens, pencils anything that would hurt were hurtled at her head. What was happening to me, where’d these feelings come from?

I kept seeing her throughout the day but I couldn’t build up the courage to speak to her. How did I become weak? A week passed by, then a month rolled into a year. Years passed and I still felt the same way. I needed to speak with her. To tell her I loved her. I’m 21 now it’s been 6 years since I last saw Louise and today I plan to tell her how I feel. I know nothing will happen between us. I’ve done to much to her. As I walk up the gravel path that I’ve stood at the foot of for many years not daring to go any further, my memories of her play in my mind. I knelt before a stone grave and traced the name with my finger.

Louise Marie Thompson

1985- 2000

She died the same day as I realised what I felt was real. She took her own life, rather than facing the prejudice, she would have been given. The saying is right you know “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone.”