Judas Kisses

It is invisible, save from what little light that my single headlight shines upon it, but the road is straight and I know the way. I’ve always known the way.

I gulp at my warming soda, the sickly sweet taste laying heavy on my tongue before sliding down my esophagus. It burns and I raise it again.

The music on the radio fades in and out as the signal meets the mountains. I don’t mind the static terribly, it’s not like I’ve really been listening to the songs anyway.

The bruise decorating the column of my throat throbs in time with my pulse. With each beat, the whirlwind of self-hate and betrayal sucks the air from my lungs. Like you, with your Judas kisses and beautifulugly words, sucking away all sense and reason.

My engine whines pathetically and the steering wheel shudders under my hands. The terminal truck has made this trip many times before, it will last one more. Some part of me wishes that it won’t.

The door is unlocked and my stomach roils as I step into your home. My mind whispers viciously to me, you don’t belong here, but it doesn’t stop my feet from creeping up your stairwell. It doesn’t stop me from cracking the door to your room and slipping inside, from laying the picture of your lovely girlfriend, my best friend, face-down before sliding under the sheets.