Broken Hearts vs. Cracking Voices

Though it was warm for October, at 10 p.m., windows down, driving fast, the goose bumps on my legs from the breeze told me that I was freezing. However, it didn’t matter. Katelyn Neely and I had our “heat seat” on and we were driving and screaming like our lives depended on it. As simple as it was, that half hour in my car with her was something I will remember forever.
After coming to the unfortunate conclusion that we aren’t heart breakers, that boys will never come groveling at our feet, for thirty minutes we pretended to be. Katelyn took the CD from its case and switched it to track 15. The familiar rhythm of our favorite song poured through the speakers at a damaging decibel. Before Fiona’s voice began to sing, I turned to Katelyn.
“Sing this like we ARE heartbreakers! We’re criminals, all the boys love us! Let’s pretend we’ve hurt a million boy’s hearts!” My voice was only a shrill cry over the boom of the car. As juvenile as it sounded, the idea of being, for a short time, someone completely different was momentarily appealing to us both. Fiona started in on her song, us singing, or shouting along about being “criminals” and “bad, bad girls.”
Without really knowing where to go, not consciously heading in any specific direction, we approached the house of a boy. This particular boy had been the center focus of our many late night girl-talks, and after he and I broke up, the walls in Katelyn’s basement even more frequently heard his name. With the windows down, she and I screamed the lyrics to his lit-up bedroom window.
“And it’s a sad, sad world, when a girl will break a boy just because she can.” It didn’t matter if he could hear me, which he couldn’t. It didn’t matter that the lyric line was reversed, that “boy” should replace “girl” and vise versa. It didn’t matter that the tears welling up in my eyes began to make it hard to see. What was important is I was there with my closest ally. Katelyn would never break my heart, and she’ll always be there for me whether I need her for true emotional support, or just a good laugh.
I stuck out my hand, palm up. Katelyn shook the bag of chocolate chunks, providing me with just enough to keep me happy. I usually eat them one at a time, but for this situation, it was necessary to toss the entire handful in my mouth at once.
Sometimes in life you don’t have to have anything, really. You should just, every now and then, drop what you’re doing and cherish the moment. I didn’t need a boy to complete me; I didn’t even worry about that book for A.P., my band competition, or my completely frozen legs. I had Katelyn, “Criminal,” and chocolate chips, and on those tough weekends, sometimes that’s all I need to get by.
And the radio kept on singing…
“Cause he’s all I ever knew of love...”