The Whisper

Jeremy Kes
Did I want it? I dunno… I mean I guess. I was afraid, and I told her so. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted a commitment. Her glowing outline, that perfectly real face- how could I not love her? She could tell me everything by saying nothing. She took my hand, unfolded it from the sweaty clenched fist that it was, faced me, and put her hand in mine. I learned to cherish it- cradle it. Who knows, maybe some day, I will learn to cradle something new, but just as wonderful as our proclaimed love.

I love long car rides. That feeling is amazing; daydreaming, relaxing in an endless car ride with nothing to do but laugh with the pretty girl to my left. I started to dream about the upcoming weekend. I couldn’t help but think of the relaxing sound of gentle waves washing the lakeshore. That repetitive whish- pause- whish sound is nature’s lullaby sending me deeper into a calming repose. Or the roar of the boat, shooting spray from the lake in your face. The exhilaration mounting as you speed past the blurs that you assume are other boats. I heard the click- clack of the blinker. My daydream was over, and I realized we were nearing the clearing. The car turned and we were suddenly swallowed by the forest. The towering trees seemed like animate life forms, communicating with their long branches: like arms, bowing with the breeze. I couldn’t help but wonder- was that the wind whispering that this weekend would be the one where I discovered something real?

Looking toward the driver’s seat of the car, I saw her smile at me. I looked at her family’s lake home for the first time. It was a mansion on the water. The tall home was made of dark cedar, and the interior décor matched perfectly. As we meandered around the yard, arm in arm, I asked about meaningless things like the shed, or the dock, or whatever might be in front of me. I listened intently to each description. I saw something extraordinarily interesting. Etched deep into the wood of a stump, I traced a heart with my eyes. The heart had been carved by her father to declare his love for his family. We sat on the stump, my arm around her back, talking about life. She sat silently for a while, but finally asked me, “What are you afraid of?” I stalled to determine if I should tell her exactly what I was afraid of, but decided against it. “I’m afraid of anthrax poisoning the water supply.”
“What, are you some kind of conspiracy theorist

Uhhh, it’s not a just a theory,” I said stoically. Her face was surprised and had a what-have-I-gotten-myself-into look on it. I just smiled and said “Gotcha!” and poked her most ticklish midsection. Then I asked back, “Sooo, then what are you afraid of?”

“Well, I guess, hmmm…,” there was silence except for the giggle of a loon across the lake, then “Um, I am afraid that the moon will crash into the earth some day.” She couldn’t keep her face straight. I cracked up. When the laughter subsided, the next words out of her mouth were “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

“Well, I want to be a teacher, you knew that,” she nodded with my words as I trailed off. With new intensity I said “But what I really want is to be madly in love… maybe a kid on the way.”

“How many kids do you want?” she asked me smiling.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe two or three, definitely not one, and definitely not more than four.”

“Hey, me too.”

“Well, where do you see yourself in ten years?” I asked now that the question had been unlocked.

“I want to be comfortable, not rich. I want to be married, maybe a kid of my own by then… who knows?” was her lovely response. I felt a slight breeze as I received the Lip Lock of the Century. She liked my answers. I almost said those words right there. Those words that scared me to death even though I would later learn they would bring me to life.

As the sun dipped into the water and the moon rose to take its place, we were nestled perfectly on the swaying hammock watching the spectacle. My beating heart was slowing as the lids of my eyes got closer and closer with each blink. I felt her soft skin against mine, our limbs intertwined. She decided to get up and walk toward the lake. I was suddenly following her. Her golden hair flowed in the light breeze. She carefully stepped onto the boat. We were off, racing through the water, zigzagging and laughing in the night sky. She stopped the boat abruptly. There was silence except for the crickets and frogs making their calls. We were lying on the floor of the boat talking about the stars and our families. I asked her in a soft voice, “So what are you really afraid of?”

“Well, I don’t know… what about you.” I shifted my weight, the boat started to rock. Then I responded in a coded phrase, “Yellow eyes and reality.”

“What?!” she gave me that look as if I were crazy, then looked at her reflection in the mirror of a lake.

“Don’t worry, I love your eyes,” it seemed as if the rest of the world had disappeared and we were truly alone together, then I said, “You are the only… the first, thing that’s ever been real to me. You are so real.”

“Why does that… why do I scare you?” She was surprised and worried now. I looked into her eyes and saw brilliant stars sparkling. I wasn’t sure if it was a reflection or not. “I’m afraid for a few reasons; I don’t want to ruin this…”

“And…” she led me on.

“Well, I guess… because I’m not sure if I’m ready for….” I could no longer see my face in the reflection of the lake. The wind picked up speed. I saw her glowing outline suddenly get just a bit brighter as she said “I love you Jeremy.” Before I realized what I was saying I was awkwardly responding, “I love you Meg… I mean…” She muffled my words with an inexplicably wonderful kiss. It was unbelievable, but so real.

That weekend was a new awakening. With the wind at my back, I was on a new path, headed down a better direction. Meg was and is real, and she is my savior. I will love her till I die.