I will speak

You will hear me. If you hear will you care? No your sadness is that still you will not feel me there. Fear is singing in me, it plays chords. Do you not see me? I am nobody behind this glass wall. How can you see me when even I cannot?

I am lost, and you are soulless and savage. Are you still lost in youthful delusions that love has no bounds? You have us as Gods. We are not Gods. You think feelings are things you can crash against the cement casement of your soul. I crack bloodless and thirsty while you laugh. While you dance I face your death in me. I cannot breath. You are like a disease, and truly you are a plague to me. You thought me a free thing. Not priceless, but costless.

You seek only what is broken, It is a weak mans only deceit. You saw only me, flightless, clipped, and grounded. I laugh while you sit thinking it is me you deceive. You are no dove. You are the vulture, waiting in the trees, desolate, and feeding off the dead.

I will speak. I will speak, laughing and you will not hear me. You would have me think that a heart is the lobed shape we learn as children. That in us beats a valentine. But there is no love in hearts, there is only blood. Love can not be spoken. Love is indefinable and mystical and true. Bah, I laugh at you. Does not love come from inside?

We are but flesh and bone. I know from where my love stems.

We were like doves. We were cells in one body. Your body was my instrument and mine was yours. That which satisfied me, was that which pleased you. I felt only our pain, I experienced only our joy. I was us. It came from my mind and yours. From millions of years of practice. Now you sully it.

It was natural, we were doves. Our minds lead us in and lead us out. Nature dictated our every movement. We were a falling rock, a running stream. And yet still you cloak yourself in these delusions. You have us as gods, you give us freedom. We are not gods. We have no freedom. I am the dream-killer, but you are the dreamer. You can live in your dream, but I cannot. Dreams are not real. You are not real. Your heart is so heavy that it drags you to the ground. I know better. Let it drag you to the ground, but a heart is full of blood.

What of doves? How very deep they are. Are they two spirits joined permanently in the fabric of the universe? I will be happy. I will continue to live unremorsefully. You may never hear me now.