The Reckoning Part 2

The Dublin traffic was worse than ever, even for a Friday. Leo drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel and glared ahead, trying to concentrate on the road and not on what was going round and round in circles in his head. The stupid thing was, he had known. He had known all along what was really happening with Assumpta but he had ignored it. She had loved him once, he knew that. At university they were inseparable.

He thought back to their time at university. For two years, they had shared a flat in Dublin. They had made plans for the future, shared everything - they had even talked about getting married back then. He had been offered a job in London and Assumpta was going to go with him. She wanted to continue to study over there and, with a first class degree from one of the best universities in Ireland, she could have done anything. But it had all gone wrong. Her mother had died, leaving her alone with her only family on the other side of the country. Responsibility for the bar had fallen to her and suddenly, she abandoned her dreams and gave in to spending the rest of her life in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. Well, that was how he saw it anyway. Ballykissangel was charming, a great place for a little holiday, but Assumpta was too spirited for it. That was why she was frustrated. And that was why he had known, when he first asked her to leave and come back to London with him, that there was something more than home-ties keeping her there.

Leo was angry again. He slapped his hand against the steering wheel in frustration. Peter Clifford, the man behind all of the trouble. How Assumpta had ever managed to get involved with him was beyond Leo. The man was English and a priest, two things that Assumpta was none too fond of. What was the attraction? He just couldn't understand it.
As he drove, he tried to think of ways, anything he could do to get her back. They had a history together, she had loved him once and could love him again. She must have felt something for him to have married him in the first place, there had to be a way. He drove towards the Wicklow mountains, catching sight of the magnificent Sugar Loaf in the distance. Okay, he thought. So Assumpta obviously wasn't as keen to leave BallyK as she once had been. So, he would make an effort to settle there. If he still worked in Dublin he could manage it well enough. The only obstacle was Fr Clifford. But, once the Priest realised that Assumpta wasn't going to leave Leo, surely he would go back to England in defeat? Then Leo and Assumpta could try to build a life together as they had hoped to years ago. He had to get her back.


"Assumpta!" called Peter up the stairs.
"Uh-huh?"
"Kettle's on. Half an hour of peace and quiet before the evening rush starts!"
Assumpta came down the stairs. "You're beginning to sound like me," she said, smiling. Peter handed her a cup and they sat down at the kitchen table. Assumpta reached for a biscuit and absently started to break it into tiny pieces.
"You haven't said much about what happened today . . . " she said finally.
"There's not much to tell. Fr Mac had a chat with the Bishop, then I did, then he told me I was officially released and wished me luck."
"And that's it?"
"That's it."
"How do you feel about it?"
Peter stirred his tea. "It feels strange, like I'm on my own . . . "
"But you're not, not anymore."
"I know that. I can't really explain . . . it's like my suit of armour has gone and I don't have any protection from anything. It's all down to me now."
Assumpta got up from her chair and went round to stand behind him, draping her arms around his shoulders. "You don't regret it though?" She was almost afraid to ask.
"No chance. We should have done this years ago."
Assumpta ruffled his hair. "Well, I did try to tell you . . . " She went over to the sideboard and picked up a set of keys. "While I think about it . . . you'd better have these."
Peter took them and put them in his pocket. Now he could come and go as he pleased - everything really was up to him now . . .


Leo tried to catch some of the view as he drove. The city had been well and truly left behind and he was now on mountainous country roads. The hills and lakes were breathtaking and they had a curious relaxing effect. By the time he reached the Bridge into BallyK, Leo was calm and confident that he could sort this mess out.
He pulled the car off the road and stopped outside Fitzgerald's smiling at the cheery yellow and blue paint work.
"Leo?"
He turned to see Niamh coming out of her house across the road with Kieran in her arms.
"How ya Niamh. And the little fella - God, he's grown. What are you feeding him on?"
Niamh looked upset. "What are you doing here?"
Leo glanced toward the pub. "I've come to try to salvage my marriage."
"It's not going to be that easy, Leo."
Leo nodded. "Oh, I know what's been happening."
Niamh was surprised. "You've heard from Assumpta?"
"No, your husband. Ambrose thought I should know what was going on, so he called me. It's a good job he did." He smiled at Kieran and patted Niamh's shoulder, heading off towards the pub. "I'll see you later, Niamh."
"Yeah, bye," said Niamh quietly.


Peter watched as Assumpta gathered the mugs and plates from the table and put them into the sink. He took a couple of deep breaths and decided it was time for action. If he didn't ask her now, then the suspense would kill him. He stood up and went over to her.
"Assumpta . . . there was just something I wanted to . . . "
"Peter?" She looked at him, concerned - he was suddenly pale and looked nervous. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, it's just . . . there's something I wanted to ask."
"What?"
Peter took her hands in his and held them tightly. "I know it's taken a long time to sort ourselves out . . . and I know, what with Leo and everything, that it's not over yet, but . . . I love you, more than anything else in the world. Will you marry me?"
Assumpta's jaw dropped. She genuinely hadn't expected this so soon.
Peter noted her shocked expression. "I understand if it's too soon to think about it . . . I just wanted . . . "
Assumpta cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently, silencing him. "Yes," she said. "Of course I'll marry you."
Peter's face broke into a wide smile, a mixture of happiness and relief that he had finally found the courage to ask her. He reached into his pocket and brought out the little box. "Could I interest you in this?" He opened the lid and took out the ring, placing it on Assumpta's finger. Assumpta stared at it, overcome.
"Peter . . . where on earth did you . . . " She shook her head, fighting back the tears. "You shouldn't have done this. It wasn't necessary . . . ."
"It was. I want you to have everything . . . whatever you want." He pulled her to him tightly and kissed her.
As they embraced, Leo watched from the other side of the bar. He had been there long enough to witness the proposal and now, all of his new found confidence had vanished. Suddenly he felt that there was no way he could fight this. He cleared his throat.
"Can anyone get a drink around here?"
Assumpta pulled back from Peter. "Leo!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"Ah, you know, was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd pay my wife a visit." He looked pointedly at Peter. "Father."
Peter nodded. "Leo." He felt awkward, as if he had been brought back down to earth with a crash. The woman of his dreams had just agreed to marry him, and in walks her husband.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to my wife."
"Of course." Peter looked at Assumpta. She looked pale, but calm.
"Okay?" he asked.
She nodded. "I'll see you later," she said.
Assumpta poured a couple of brandies and led Leo over to the chairs by the fireplace. "How long have you been here?"
"Long enough." He swallowed his drink and took out a cigarette, flinging the packet onto the table. Assumpta reached forward and took one, waiting for a light.
"You haven't smoked in years." said Leo, holding out the lighter.
"Yeah, well I think I've just started again." She took a puff and sat back in the chair. "Why have you come? I thought we'd said all we have to say."
"I had a phone call. Someone thought I should know what was going on."
"Niamh?"
"Close, Ambrose." Leo laughed bitterly. "You know, I came here with every intention of getting you back, persuading you that we could be happy together." He shook his head. "That's not going to happen, Is it?"
Assumpta couldn't look at him. "No."
"You really love him, don't you?"
"Yes, I do."
"Why?" Leo watched her carefully. She looked suddenly tired.
"I don't know. It's not something I can explain."
"This has been going on for years, hasn't it?" He took a drag of his cigarette. He didn't want to ask the next question, fearing that he already knew what the answer was and knowing that he wouldn't like it. "And when you married me?"
"Leo . . . " She was crying now. Leo hated to see her upset, but he couldn't stop himself.
"I need to know. You didn't love me, did you?"
Assumpta looked up. "That's not true. I did . . . do love you."
"But weren't in love with me."
"Not then, no. But that doesn't mean I didn't care about you . . . "
"It's not quite the same thing though." Leo leaned back and closed his eyes. He knew for sure now that it was over. "You want a divorce?"
Assumpta shook her head. "I . . . don't know. I hadn't thought about it."
"Well you can't marry the priest without one." He stood up and headed for the door. "Nothing more to say, is there? Just let me know what you want to do. I won't fight it."
Assumpta got up and followed him to the door. "Leo . . . " She paused. "I'm sorry . . . "
"Me too." For a moment he looked at her, then he reached out and took her in his arms, hugging her tightly. Assumpta hugged him back, sobbing into his shoulder.. After a long moment, Leo broke away and opened the door.
"You know . . . " he turned to face her again. "I always loved you. I never stopped."
She nodded sadly. "I know."


From across the road, Niamh watched Leo get into his car and, after a last look back at the pub he drove off. He was crying, she was sure he was. She backed the buggy out of the door and slammed it behind her, marching over to Fitzgerald's.
"Assumpta?" she called softly. There was no answer, but from the kitchen, Niamh could hear muffled sobs. She parked Kieran by the bar and went through. Assumpta was sitting at the table, her head in her arms. Niamh pulled up a chair and sat beside her.
"Come on . . . it's all right," she said soothingly.. Assumpta lifted her head slowly from the table and looked at Niamh, shaking her head. "It's not all right . . . It's a mess. I've hurt him terribly." She broke down again and Niamh took her in her arms, rocking her gently.
Peter, coming into the bar, heard the sobs and went through into the kitchen. Niamh saw him over Assumpta's shoulder and wordlessly shook her head, motioning for him to leave them for a while. Peter took the hint and went back into the bar to talk to Kieran. He took him out of the buggy and sat him on his knee.
"What do you think, Kieran? Is she changing her mind? She did love him once, maybe she still does . . . ."
In the kitchen, Assumpta's sobs had subsided and she was much calmer. Niamh handed her a cold cloth and she dabbed at her swollen eyes, trying to calm them down.
"God, I look a mess."
"You sure do." Niamh looked at her with concern. "So, what did Leo have to say?"
"Not a lot. That was what was so awful. I thought he'd go mad, but he seemed so resigned to it. I felt so bad for him . . . for what I've done to him."
"Did you talk about divorce?"
"He said he wouldn't fight it, whatever I decided." She sniffed again. "Peter has asked me to marry him."
Niamh was surprised. "That was quick."
"Well, not really. It has taken him three years . . ."
"Well, congratulations." Niamh hugged her. "I am happy for you. I just want you to do whatever you want, whatever will make you happy."
Assumpta smiled and looked at Peter in the bar, singing silly songs to Kieran. "He does."


In the small hours of the following morning, Peter was standing in his favourite spot on the bridge looking out over the river. He hadn't been able to sleep, thinking about the day's events. Assumpta had been upset by Leo's visit. He understood that, of course, but he felt cheated. They should have been happy today of all days, but instead, she was more miserable than ever.
"You won't drown yourself in there. It's far too shallow." Peter spun round to see Assumpta standing behind him with Fionn on the lead.
"Assumpta! It's 1am . . . What are you . . . ?"
"I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about everything. I also think I owe you an apology."
"Me? What for?" Peter turned away from the bridge and walked alongside her.
"For being so distant tonight. I mean, it's not every day you leave the priesthood and get engaged. I shouldn't have been so selfish."
"You weren't being selfish. But, there's no point going over what happened with Leo. It's done now. You can't change it. All we can do is look forward and try to make the best of it."
"I know . . . it's not easy, that's all."
Peter watched her carefully. "You still love him, don't you?"
Assumpta shook her head. "Not in the way you mean . . . but yes, I do care about him very much. That's what makes it so hard. He was a good friend, and I used him. That's the hardest thing to deal with."
"Did you come to any agreements . . . about what the two of you are going to do?"
Assumpta shrugged. "He seemed to accept it, said that he'd go along with whatever I wanted. I guess I'll have to divorce him" She slipped her arm through Peter's suddenly brightening. "But, enough. We have far better things to talk about."
Peter smiled, happy again. "Yes, we can start to think about what sort of wedding we want . . . who we're going to invite."
"Hey, hold it there." Assumpta stopped. "Do you honestly think that anyone round here is going to come to our wedding?" She looked amazed. "I mean, once they find out that I've corrupted the golden boy and led him away from his calling, they're never going to want to talk to me again."
Peter didn't agree. "I think you misjudge them. You've got a lot more friends here than you seem to realise. They'll come round. It may take time, but we'll get there."
"Kathleen'll never speak to me again"
"Kathleen doesn't speak to you now!"
Assumpta smiled. "I guess not." They had arrived back at the pub.
Assumpta took out her keys. "Well, home sweet home." She looked at Peter who was wrestling with his conscience. "Are you coming in?"
He shook his head slowly. This time, he didn't feel that could trust himself. "I'd better not . . . " He leaned forward and kissed her. "I'll see you tomorrow. G'night"
"Night." Assumpta kissed him back and turned to let herself into the pub.
A few yards down the road, Peter stopped as he heard the door slam shut. "Who am I fooling?" he asked himself. "This is crazy." He turned and walked briskly back to the pub and let himself in.


Early the following morning, Kathleen Hendley opened the door of her shop and started to bring in the newspapers that were lying in a small bundle on the step. She wasn't in the best of moods - the shop seemed to be doing less business than ever, thanks to the new supermarket in Cilldargan and she really didn't know how much longer she could carry on selling postcards to tourists - not that there were many of those. She was reluctant to give up the place though. Her choice of career suited her - the local shop was as good a source for gossip as the pub.
At the thought of Assumpta, her mood darkened. She was still smarting over her run in with the women's group - she hadn't come out of that very well and she didn't like being made to feel stupid by a mere slip of a girl, especially one as troublesome as Miss Fitzgerald . . . no, Mrs McGarvey. That was a joke. The marriage hadn't lasted more than five minutes. But then, what could you expect from a woman with no respect for anything, not even the church.
Now, there was something interesting going on there. Kathleen attended Mass every day and hadn't missed the fact that Fr MacAnally had taken every Mass for the last fortnight - he had said something about Fr Clifford taking a break, but she knew there was more to it than that. If only she knew what it was . .
As she brought in a crate of milk, she was distracted by the sound of a door slamming. Fr Clifford was heading off over the bridge. Kathleen was puzzled. "Where had he come from at this hour?" She looked up and down the street but she could see no other signs of life, except for Assumpta at her bedroom window. Kathleen nodded to herself and went back inside her shop.
At the window, Assumpta stared down at the shop doorway in dismay. That was it, she thought. There was no going back now. Within 24 hours, everyone in Wicklow would know exactly what was going on.


Kathleen was on better form than Assumpta had given her credit for. By lunch time, there was only one topic of conversation in Ballykissangel - Assumpta and the priest. At some point during the day, many of the town's residents passed through the local shop, if only for a pint of milk and Kathleen wasted no time in bringing them up to date with the latest. Assumpta Fitzgerald, a married woman had seduced the priest. He had been thrown out of the church and was living in sin with Assumpta at the pub. She had enough gossip to keep her going for months and she could hardly contain herself when Fr Mac came into the shop for his newspaper.
"Terrible business Father."
"I'm sorry?" He glanced over at her, frowning slightly.
"Fr . . . Mr Clifford, and Assumpta Fitzgerald. Mind you, what can you expect from her. And he, only a young lad from England . . . "
She stared. She wasn't quite getting feedback that she expected. "What do you think, Father MacAnally?"
"I think, Kathleen, that we should try to be a little more understanding, like the true Christian souls that we are." He put his money down on the counter and walked out of the shop, leaving Kathleen speechless.


That afternoon, Father Mac poured himself a drink and settled down into his armchair. He had a difficult task ahead of him, trying to organise cover for St Joseph's until a replacement curate could be found, but he couldn't concentrate. His mind seemed full of things he hadn't thought about for a long time. He was brought to by the sound of loud, insistent knocking at his front door. After a long moment of hoping that whoever it was would go away, he went to answer it. To his confusion, he found Assumpta Fitzgerald standing on the doorstep.
He sighed. He really didn't feel in the mood for an argument at the moment. "Assumpta . . . " he said wearily, "what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you? Don't tell me. You've finally come to confess your sins and you didn't think the church would be open long enough." Assumpta didn't flinch. She stared at him coldly. "What are you playing at?"
"Would you like to come in?"
"I want to know what's going on." She insisted.
Fr Mac led the way into his study. "I don't know what you mean."
"I've been hearing strange rumours about you being suspiciously understanding where Peter and I are concerned."
"You find that so hard to take?"
"Yes, I know what you think of me. You've never been overly fond of Peter, so what's going on?"
Fr Mac sat down. "I do understand what he was going through. I do have some feelings . . . "
"Huh!"
"I've been there."
Assumpta's eyebrows nearly reached the ceiling. "What? You?"
He nodded slowly. "Oh, I never quite had the courage to leave, at least, that's what I thought at the time. But I know the pain and anguish that Peter went through to reach his decision."
Assumpta left her post by the door and sat down in the chair opposite. She had suddenly found herself faced with a very sad, very tired looking man and it had all become clear to her.
"Nancy . . . " she said quietly, remembering the girl who had come to BallyK a few weeks before in search of her mother.
"Yes."
"She was your daughter?"
Fr Mac nodded. "I don't know for sure, but I think so."
Assumpta tried to think back, but she didn't remember anything about Nancy, or her mother, Eileen. She was only a couple of years older than Nancy so she was too young to remember. "What happened?"
Fr Mac sighed deeply. "We were in love. She wanted me to leave the priesthood, but I couldn't. I didn't have the strength to go through with it, so she left and I lost her. I'll never forget that."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I." He sat forward and looked at her directly. "The church has lost a very good, decent priest, but he'll be happy, I hope. He wasn't happy in the priesthood, not for a long time."
Assumpta nodded slowly. "No, he wasn't. That doesn't mean he isn't missing it though."
"Will you do something? Not for me, but for Peter?"
Assumpta's eyes widened. Fr Mac asking her for a favour. "What?"
"He's a good man, and the church is important to him. Don't turn him against it. He can still be serve God."
She nodded slowly. And stood up to go. "I wouldn't do that. I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. He'll come back to the church, when he's ready."


Back at Fitzgerald's, Peter was coping admirably . . . with the drinks anyway. He was having a bit more trouble handling the gossip that was making his ears burn. Everyone seemed to be talking about him. Not that he was surprised. It had only been a matter of time and they had managed to keep their secret for longer than he had expected. If he was honest, he was relived that they could now start to be more open about their relationship. He was fed up with hiding something that he felt so happy about, and he didn't relish the thought of slipping away from the pub in the mornings. He looked around the bar. The usual three suspects were propping up one end, Eamonn was in the corner nursing a diet coke and Liam and Donal were sitting gloomily contemplating the afternoon's work that was ahead of them. Peter leaned on the bar.
"Are you all right there Fath . . . Peter?" Siobhan looked at him with concern.
"I'm . . . fine, Siobhan."
"It's all true then? Well, it was only a matter of time, wasn't it?" Peter was surprised. "You knew?"
"Everybody did. We're not blind you know. The electricity level soared wherever you two happened to be."
Peter laughed. "You just can't hide anything round here."
"You're learning. Where's Assumpta?"
"I don't know. She took off earlier, said she had something to sort out. I haven't seen her since."
"How is she?"
"Tired. I don't know how she's going to handle all the gossip. She's not the most patient of people."
"She'll be fine. Hasn't she a big strong man to look after her now?"


At last, after a busy lunchtime, Peter shut the doors behind the last of the afternoon drinkers and went into the kitchen. He poured himself a coffee and sat down at the table, exhausted.
"Slacker." Assumpta kissed the top of his head, then sat down opposite him. "How did you get on?"
"Well, I think I did okay. The bar is still in one piece. Where did you disappear to?"
"Ah, I'll tell you later. I did call in to see my solicitor though."
"And?"
"Well, he had a few interesting thoughts. It seems that we could be eligible for an annulment."
"On what grounds?" Peter wasn't sure he wanted to follow this line of enquiry. The less he knew about Leo's relationship with her, the better.
"The fact that we were together for such a short time . . . the circumstances . . . you . . . If we are prepared to go to court and explain exactly what happened, then the judge might be prepared to agree that the marriage should never have taken place. Unsound mind and all that."
She saw his doubtful expression. "Look, Peter, I know that this goes against everything that you believe in, but if this is possible we would be talking months instead of up to five years. We would have to wait so long to be together otherwise. And it's not as if it didn't happen."
Peter nodded. "I know. I don't want to wait that long. I don't want to wait at all. We'll do whatever we have to. I suppose all of this will have to happen in England?"
"Well, that's where we were married. Why? Is that a problem?"
"No . . . it's just . . . I can't really go back to England without going home, not after everything that's happened these past couple of weeks, but I was hoping that I could leave it about 30 years before telling my brothers."
"They won't approve then?"
"Oh, they won't mind. They've spent the last 10 years trying to persuade me to throw in the towel and find myself a nice girl. They're going to get great mileage out of this one. I can hear the 'I-told-you-so's from here.
Assumpta laughed. "Never mind Peter. If they give you too much trouble, I'll sort them out for you."
"I wouldn't wish that on anyone," said Peter, ducking as a tea towel came heading towards him.


Peter closed the overhead locker and took his seat. Beside him, Assumpta was leafing through the in-flight magazine, trying in vain to find an article that wasn't written for the bored businessman. Peter strapped himself in.
"I hate flying."
"You're not scared??!" teased Assumpta. "I don't believe it!"
"No." Peter was embarrassed. "I'm not scared. I just don't like it. " He took a deep breath as he watched the landscape fly past as the aeroplane picked up speed on the runway. "I'm glad this is only a short flight . . . " He looked over at Assumpta who was staring out of the tiny window. "You okay?"
Assumpta nodded wordlessly. Peter took her hand and held it tight. He could see she was crying.
"You're not having second thoughts . . . ?"
"No," Assumpta shook her head violently. "It's just . . . every time I leave Ireland, it's always complicated . . . " She stopped. "It's so beautiful . . ."
Peter looked over her head at the rapidly shrinking countryside. There was nothing but uneven green patches as far as the eye could see.
Suddenly he understood how she felt. He felt a pang of sadness and he had only been there a couple of years. Assumpta had lived there all her life.
"But it's different this time, isn't it?"
"Not really, not in some ways. Last time I made this flight to London, I didn't think I would ever go back to Ireland. I have that same feeling now, like this is the end of one part of my life. Only difference is, last time, I thought I'd lost you. This time you're with me."
"And it's the start of a new life."
"That's what I thought last time, when I went looking for Leo. I thought I had sorted everything out in my head and that I had left Ireland for good. Now, I just don't think we'll ever go back. Things are too difficult for us there."
Peter shook his head. "I don't believe that. Don’t worry. We'll be back…”