The Awakening

Some people say that Wicca is very old, stretching back twenty five thousand years; others claim that it was officially started in 1954 by Gerald Gardner in England. Which ever the case, I don’t really care, what I do care about is the fact that Wicca as a religion that works for me. I am a Wiccan, and I am male. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a “New Ager”, for two reasons; 1) I don’t make enough money to buy all the trappings that go along with that particular title, and 2) I recognize that there is darkness in the world and in us all as human beings.
My name is Patrick, and I try to bring balance to the world, through the use of Magick and Wicca along with some close friends, I guess you could say that these friends have become my family due to the fact that I am alone in the world, now that my family has passed away.
I guess I should start from the beginning of my story; it all starts in the fall of 1990 when I was seventeen years old. My parents have been divorced since I was six years old, and I was living with my mother at the time. I was an average kid, nothing special, and I was in the last half of my freshman year. My grades were not the best, but at the time I really didn’t care. Hell I was in the Chicago Public School System, half of the teachers didn’t want to do their job, and the other half wanted to save the whole world by “training” us via new methods of teaching. It was all a big joke to me.
I came into contact with the idea of Witchcraft after doing a report for my English class; I guess you could say that it was my turning point, or my launch point in to the world that lies beyond what we see every day.
In writing that report my eyes were opened for the first time, there are people who can see glimpses of the future, or that can know what someone was doing with out the benefit of communicating with them directly. Was it possible, then to learn this stuff myself? There was no way to know unless I tried, right?
So I picked up a book called “The Witches Bible Complete” written by a married couple of Witches, turns out that there was a whole sub-culture out there of these people, all of whom seem to be every day, ordinary people, who have grown tired of drowning in the mainstream religions, and decided to get out of the river, and sit a spell and think for themselves. Witches, not the old hag pictures that abound every Halloween, but normal people who work 9 to 5 jobs, my first thought after reading that book was ‘How can I become a Witch?”
The answer came to me in the form of a girl I had known in school, her name was Kathleen Fitzhume. She was the girl that all the guys wanted to date, and all the girls didn’t like her because she made no pretence at being popular, even though she was in her own way. She had deep red hair, green eyes, and a smile that could melt the polar icecaps. Her beauty came from within, she was warm and caring, and just a bit of a free spirit. All of these traits made her the most desirable girl in school, and she became my friend, and mentor.
For the next year and a day, I read everything I could get my hands on regarding Wicca. I read ravenously, and Kathleen watched, and taught me the things that were not covered in the books. Then came the day of my indoctrination into Wicca, I remember it well it was Halloween, 1992. I was walking to class when Kathleen came up to me in the third floor hall and pulled me into a classroom that was not being used at the moment,
“Pat, you and I have some business to attend to tonight. I want you to meet me at my house at eleven-thirty. My parents know that you are coming over, so it’s ok.” She said to me quietly.
“Sure thing Kat, but why all the cloak and dagger stuff?” I asked.
“Because this is only for you and me to know about,” She said then without another word she walked off to class. My mind raced as I watched her walk away, ‘what is going on and why tonight? And why can’t I tell anyone else about this?’ Time seemed to drag that whole day, time seemed to be withholding the very minutes. Finally school let out at two-thirty, I had eight and a half hours to kill, so I went home to do homework, and watch a little TV, until the kiddies of the neighborhood came out to trick or treat.
Finally at ten thirty, I told my mother that I was going out.
“Ok kid, just be careful, it’s going to get crazy out tonight,” she said.
“Ok, mom, don’t wait up.”
I walked out of my house into the chilly October night; the wind was blowing from the east, bringing with it the smell of spearmint from the Wrigley Gum manufacturing factory located on 39th Street. The sounds of Interstate 55 droned on, and the kiddies all were inside now, so the street was quiet. I walked south on Mozart until I reached 36th Street then I tuned east to California Avenue, where I waited for a bus. The street lights bathed the street with their amber light.
The traffic was light, and the wind was starting to blow harder, carrying with it the scent of rain. The Chicago Transit Authority bus finally arrived, and I boarded, paid the $1.50 and took a seat. The ride was not too long, it lasted only ten minutes, and when I got off of the bus I was standing on California and 46th Streets. I turned east and walked to Kathleen’s house. The diner on the corner was doing brisk business tonight. The parking lot was full of cars, and the customers were all from the Royal Crown Bottling Company. From the bus stop I walked east to Washtenaw Avenue, and turned north. The street was deserted, and the only house with Halloween decorations in the windows was Kathleen’s house. As I walked up the short flight of stairs the front door opened, and there stood Kathleen dressed in a semi sheer white robe, that showed off her figure thanks to the hall light behind her.
“You’re early, good that gives us time to prepare,” was all she said, as she showed me into her house. Her parents were already in bed, and we went into the basement, where Kathleen had set up an altar, and candles arranged in a circle.
“You are to wait outside the Circle, until I bring you in. Take off your shirt.” She said. I removed my shirt, and waited as she lit the candles starting with the yellow east candle, she moved to the red south candle, then the blue west candle, and finally the green north candle. She walked around the circle a second time with a dagger, pointing the tip of the blade to the floor, and then she walked around the circle holding a stick of incense. She then walked to the altar and said:

“Great Mother and Great Father of us all, I bring one who would be initiated in to the mysteries of Wicca, please be with us now, as I bring him into your hands.” She then walked to the green candle and said,
“Lord of the East, Keeper of Intellect, hail and welcome to this Rite, please be with us this night.” She then went to the red candle and said:
“Lord of the South, Keeper of the flame of action, please be with us as we enact this Rite.” Next she went to the blue candle and said:
“Lord of West, Keeper of emotion, please be with us as we enact this rite.” Finally she went to the green candle and said:
“Lord of the North, Keeper of strength, please be with us this night as we enact this Rite.” She walked to where I was standing, and with the dagger she cut a door into the circle for me to enter.
All this time I watched her with a mixture of fear, and excitement. My breathing came in small gasps, and a light sheen of sweat covered my naked flesh. As she stood in front of me, she brought the dagger up to my chest and said:
“Why do you come here?”
“To learn the Wiccan Way,” I answered.
“Are you afraid?”
“No.”
“It is better that you thrust yourself on the point of this blade, then to enter this sacred space with fear in your heart, so I ask once more, are you afraid?”
“My heart holds no fear,” I said flatly.




“Then welcome to this circle,” she said with a slight smile, as she moved to the side to permit me inside. Once in the circle she took my hand and led me to the altar, where she turned to face me, her eyes closed in meditation, when her eyes opened they were not the same lovely green that I dreamt about, there were depthless, and ice blue. She looked at me, and I felt as if she was looking not at me, but into me, into my very soul. She looked at me in this way for several minutes, then she spoke with a voice that matched her eyes:
“I am the embodiment of The Great Goddess, The Mother of all. I have been called by many names, but I am Mother. I have looked into your heart and found you to be honest and pure. I accept you as One of the Wise, and I welcome you.” She placed her hands on the sides of my face and gently kissed my forehead, and then on my lips. In that instance the universe opened before me. I watched a star being borne in a distant galaxy, and a child being borne in England, a woman quietly dieing in France, and I knew that every one on Earth was connected.
Kathleen then removed her hands, and her lips and reality came crashing back around us. Her eyes were back to normal, as was her voice.
“Welcome home, my brother,” was what she said.