Good Intentions

         Ashley held her breath as the clock ticked closer to 12. Her friends and family were gathered around the television merrily chanting, "Ten, nine, eight ..." as the ball made it's descent in far off Times Square. With a great shout of "Happy New Year!" and countless poppers strewing streamers around the room and fireworks banging loudly outside, the old year passed away and Ashley knew what she had to do. Now was the time to begin her New Year's resolution. She quietly walked up to her friend Bob and took away his drink. Then she made her way to Mary, and Wesley, and many others, taking their drinks and not listening to their protests.
         Her husband cornered her in the kitchen, where she was dumping out the cups she had swiped, and asked why she was offending their guests.” They drink too much," she stated calmly.
         "I think you're the one who has been drinking too much! Honey, you just single- handedly ruined this party!"
         "I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but I really think they should stop drinking. Do you know how many people die every year in drunk driving accidents on New Year's day?"
         "Ash, some of them are spending the night, and there are designated drivers. We discussed this before!"
         "I'm sorry, Steven, but I need to do this."
         "Fine. I'll just go explain to everyone that you're having a difficult night and it might be better if they all left. Would you like that?"
         "You know very well, I would not like that! Be reasonable."
         "Be reasonable, she says! How can I be reasonable when you're acting like a crazy woman?"
         Steven, you're not helping. You know what, I'm going to bed. You and your friends go ahead and party. I just don't want to be here to see them all staggering out the door. I won't be able to sleep for worrying if I do!" Ashley whirled out of the kitchen and sprinted up the stairs to the bedroom.
         Steven shook his head and leaned against the counter in bewilderment.
         "Hey, Steve," called his friend Andy as he popped his head into the kitchen, "We're starting a game of poker, want to join us? Hey, are you okay?"
         "Yeah, I'm fine," he sighed and pushed himself away from the counter, "Poker, huh? I think I will thanks."

         In the morning, Steven went down to breakfast, expecting to grab a bagel and some coffee, but Ashley was standing in the kitchen door, blocking his way.
         "Good morning, Ash," he said cautiously, "How'd you sleep?"
         She ignored his attempt at pleasantry, and stated, "This family needs to eat healthier, so I have made up a list of things we are allowed to eat from now on. I have thrown away everything unhealthy so no one will be tempted to sneak junk food behind my back." She handed him a list. It was not very long.
         "Ashley, this is ridiculous. How are you ever going to convince the kids to eat grape nuts? And no coffee? Be reasonable."
         "Oh, now you want me to be reasonable, but you can't be reasonable when I want you to be? Oh, I see, it's your manly pig headedness finally beginning to show. You think I should do what you want because I'm your wife,"
         "Ash,.."
         Her eyes filled with tears as she interrupted him, "Well, I thought you were better than that, but now I know. Steven, I want to do what's right for this family. Can't you please let me do this?"
         Steven sighed, "Alright, Ash, do what you want. I just hope you'll get over it before too long."
         "Well, I hope I don't. Just,.. go eat some grape nuts."
         As Ashley trudged up the stairs, Steven bolted into the kitchen and swung open the refrigerator. True to her word, Ashley had thrown away every scrap of normal food. The only things on the shelf were nonfat milk, celery, carrots, lettuce, 100% apple juice, and a four pound slab of tofu.
         "Ugh, what does she think we are? Rabbits?" Steven muttered to himself. He grabbed the milk reluctantly and opened the cupboard that normally contained chips, crackers, and candy. It was completely empty. Next he opened the cereal cupboard. The solitary box was an unopened package of Grape Nuts. He grabbed the box and slammed the cupboard shut then stalked into the living room. He plopped down on the couch and dumped a pile of the pebble- like grains into his bowl and grimaced as he poured some milk over the top of the mound. He flicked on the television and flipped through channels sulkily, every once in a while staring at the bowl of grape nuts to see if they had softened yet. Finally he worked up enough courage to take a bite and winced as a sound near that of crunching bone came from his mouth. Grimacing, he set down the bowl. Just then, his son Jeremy entered the room.
         "Hi, Dad. Hey, Mom made me brush my teeth before breakfast today! Isn't that weird?"
         "Come have some grape nuts, son."
         "Nah, I'd rather have fruit loops."
         "There aren't any."
         "There were yesterday! I bet Nathan ate them. Man!"
         "No, Nathan did not eat them. Your mother threw them away."
         "What!"
         "Now, now. I'm sure she would not have done it if she didn't have a good reason." Muttering under his breath, he added, "I just wish I knew what it was."
         "So what are we supposed to eat?"
         "Grape nuts."
         "Gross! I'd rather not eat."
         "Fine. Me too."
         The boy and his father sat in sullen silence as the figures on the television screen flashed by with all the charm and vivacity of squirrels on crack. Nathan, the younger of the two boys sauntered in and announced that he was not interested in a grape nut diet either. So all three sat and sulked until Ashley flounced in and informed them that they were all going jogging. This did not meet with much enthusiasm.
         "Mom! Do you want us to never be able to show our faces at school again? If we go jogging with you and Dad and one of our friends see us, they're going to think..."
         "What? We're trying to get you in shape? We care about you?" Ashley interjected in frustration. This resolution was not going as well as she had thought it would.
         "No! That we're geeks!"
         "I don't think so."
         "Whatever, Mom. I'm not going."
         "Honey," Steven pleaded, "Why don't we just go. They get P.E. in school."
         "A lot of good it's done them."
         "Honey..."
         "Alright, fine. Let them stay here and play X-Box or watch TV. Until their brains melt away! I forgot, you're the boss."
         "Ashley, not now." Steven glanced at the boys, who had become quiet, their eyes wide.
         "Fine. We'll discuss it later. Get some sweats on and let's go."
         "Okay. Boys, why don't you come along?"
         "Aw, do we have to?" Nathan whined. Jeremy elbowed him in the ribs.
         "Sure, Dad. Uh, Mom, I think this is a great idea. We were just sorta surprised at first. Right, Nathan?"
         "Not really...Oh. Yeah"
         "Thanks, boys. Go get ready! Hurry up!" Ashley chirped brightly.

         The next week, Ashley attacked was her workplace. She was a receptionist for a large company downtown. One unfortunate customer came in with a cold and left with high blood pressure. He was sitting in a chair waiting to see Ashley's boss and sneezed without covering his mouth. Ashley calmly brought him over a box of tissues. The next time he sneezed, he did not quite get a tissue out of the box soon enough. With a pinched smile on her face, Ashley walked over to the man and asked him to please mind his sneezes. The man informed her that it was a free country. She responded by saying that that was a poor excuse for being rude and stormed back over to her desk. The man went in for his appointment and when he came back out, his face was red and Ashley's boss looked grim.
         "Ashley, we need to talk, do you have a minute?"
         "I do."
         "Could you come into my office?"
         As Ashley slowly nodded her head, she could feel the red-faced man's smug grin boring into the back of her head.
         Ashley," her boss said softly as they entered his office, "What has gotten into you lately? You were fine before the holidays, but now you seem so uptight and... anal about everything. What's wrong? I know you're not really like that."
         "Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. I just," She stopped.
         "You just what? What is it Ashley? I need to know. You're depressed? Having family problems? You need time off? What?"
         "I'm a little embarrassed. Well, I made a New Year's Resolution..."
         "So that's it," the man leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, a look of amusement on his face, "You made a resolution that's too hard to keep and now you're all irritable and upset because of it. Am I right?"
         "Well, sort of."
         "Let me give you a piece of advice, Ashley. Never make a resolution you have no intention of keeping for the whole year and after."
         "That's not it! I mean, I really want to keep it, it's just that my family and everyone else won't let me!"
         "Won't let you?"
         "Yes! My husband thinks I'm crazy, my kids think I'm out to make them look bad, and now you're lecturing me about something you don't know anything about!"
         "Whoa, whoa, whoa, where did that come from? That's not the Ashley I know. What resolution did you make?"
         "I just want to make sure everyone around me is making good decisions all the time. I want the best for everyone. So, I decided that I was going to change at least one thing in the lives of everyone I meet."
         Her boss threw back his head and laughed.
         "What's so funny?" Ashley asked irritably.
         "Ashley, don't take it personally, but that is an impossible resolution. You can't change anyone! And why of all people did you choose to try to change Harley Edison?" He started to laugh again and Ashley sunk down in her chair in despair.
         "Ashley, why don't you forget the whole thing? At least at work, although I'll wager your family would thank me if I convinced you to give it up completely! What have you done to them? Made them eat tofu?"
         Ashley began to cry and laugh at the same time, "That's exactly what I did! Oh, lord, what a mess I've made of things!"
         "Well, don't worry Ashley, Steve's a pretty patient guy and he'll get over it. Why don't you take a break, go wash up, and can you be back at your desk in a half an hour?"
         "You're not angry?"
         "About Harley? No, he's a pretty tough guy. Plus he can't afford to be angry for too long with the history he's had with our company! Don't worry about it," he laughed suddenly, "Ah, I haven’t seen his face that red since,.." he glanced at Ashley and cleared his throat, "Well, just.... don't worry about it. Go. You're on break."
         Ashley came home depressed. Steven did not even dare to ask what was wrong. He had put out a smorgasbord of left overs, which was nearly everything they had eaten that week. No one was hungry. Ashley picked at her food. The boys and Steven did not even try to pretend to eat. They had a stash in Steven's study that Ashley had not found yet.
         After dinner, Ashley went up to her bathroom to take a bath and the men of the house snuck down to the study. They were sighing with ecstasy as chocolate, red vines, and potato chips were pouring down their throats, when Ashley strode into the room. The culprits froze. Ashley walked calmly over to Jeremy, who was clutching a huge bag of peanut M&M's and snatched it out of his hand.
         As Steven and the boys watched, Ashley stuffed handfuls of M&M's into her mouth and started crying. The result was not pretty, but the males watching were quite relieved.
         "I'm sorry I've been so... I don't know. I was being pretty ridiculous wasn't I?" Ashley gasped pathetically.
         "Nathan went over and put his hand on her arm.
         "No, Mom. You just want the best for us. we know that. I think you just got a little confused about how to get us to be healthy. It's a good idea and all, but tofu? Mom. We love you. Please be a good mommy again?"
         Ashley nodded. Steven and Jeremy came over and all of them gave her a big hug.
         From then on, Ashley gave up on trying to make other peoples lives better and stuck to being a good example instead. She and her family eventually did begin to lead a healthier life, and were happier as a result.