Beautiful Goodbye

  Irene just stood there in the darkness. She had decided that she could no longer live this way she wouldn’t do it. ‘Wait’ the rational part of her mind tried to cry out. ‘Things can be different now, we can make it different.’ No, she knew things would never change. She was tired; she didn’t have the energy or desire to put forth the effort it would take to change her life now. As a wild surge of rebellion built up inside her, she slipped the noose around her pretty white throat. Alison Krause sang in the background about praying in the river as she stepped off the chair.



  She hadn’t planned this carefully; in fact she had barely planned it at all, which was often her habit. The noose tightened and began to cut off her oxygen, but the rope was too long and the fall too short, her neck didn’t snap like she had expected. As she hung there, slowly loosing consciousness, her mind began to wander. Memories began to flood her senses as her body let go of life.



  David had promised to always love her, to never hurt her. He appeared in her life one day out of the blue. He could have ridden in on a white horse as far as Irene was concerned. He quoted Poe on their first date, took her to the theatre, swept her off her feet. She always trusted him. Oh, how she had loved him. The wedding had been beautiful. She felt like she were there right now, walking down the aisle to meet him. The day had been clear and cool, perfect weather for an outside wedding. Irene loved the rose garden, it was there he had proposed, and there that they decided to have the official ceremony. She walked down the aisle, feeling her white gown swooping around her feet. 



  They had spoke of having children, but had never gotten around to it. How she would have loved to hear children playing in the yard during summertime. Her body began to struggle against her, why hadn’t she planned this better? They’d had a lovely wedding and a seemingly perfect marriage. David would lie in bed next to her at night talking about distant places he had visited. When she’d had the accident three years ago, he had stayed by her bed the entire time she was unconscious. He’d read to her when she didn’t have the strength to read herself. He’d loved her.



  Two weeks ago the doctors had diagnosed him as terminal. Cancer, they’d said, was eating away at his body every moment. They didn’t offer treatment, said he was too far gone already. She cared for him as he grew weaker. She’d soothed him as he cried out in pain in his sleep. This morning she’d had enough. She couldn’t watch her beloved husband suffer anymore. It was fairly easy, holding the pillow over his face; he didn’t have the strength to struggle. It was over in a matter of minutes.



  Then the panic set in. What would she do without him? She hadn’t thought about the aftermath of her actions, only wanted him to be finally at peace. He deserved that much didn’t he? Not that it mattered much anyway, they would put her in jail, maybe even give her the death penalty. But then it would take months before her own agony was over. She decided it was time to go to sleep. Put her body and soul to rest with David’s. That was when she’d gotten the rope and tied it to the chandelier in the dining room. She hoped it would be strong enough and it was. Her mind wouldn’t let go and her body kept finding one more breath to keep her alive. Her body began to thrash about, clinging to life as bodies often do, even when the soul is already gone. There was no beautiful light or singing choirs, just blurring visions of the house and the loud thumping of blood through her head. Finally, oblivion came.