What would stones say if...?

She seemed an ordinary rock, yet something was special about her. She was old and lonely, sitting down there for as long as she could remember. She probably witnessed so many things, watched so many people living their lives, nature doing its course… She didn’t have enough time to realize she had no time for herself. She lived others’ lives, she lived for nature, but never once for her. Poor little stone! It must be so painful to be somehow dead, yet so alive on the inside, or perhaps it’s the other way around: what if other people see her so alive, still dead on the inside? I think she is both, just like me…
Sometimes dead on the inside, other times on the outside… the main fact is that she is always dead somehow and that keeps her alive… She is so silent but seems to listen to the noise. I think her silence contributes to all the noise, the rumor… By being this silent, by her muteness, she makes all this noise to happen; she allows it to take place. Everything happens because of her… By standing there still, she allows us to pass by her… By not breathing she allows us to breathe… She does nothing, only for us. She sacrifices herself living as if she had no life, just so that we could live…
She acts dead so that we could seem more alive than her, so that we could have this false impression we feel more than her, we are different from her… but what if it is not true? What if she does all this just to make us feel better?
I wonder, if she could talk, what would she say? What if she can but simply refuses to? Maybe she just wants to remain pure… she doesn’t want to get involved in our filthy world… but if she thinks this way, than she isn’t pure, she is even more snob and dirty than us… No, she couldn’t be this way! She is simply an innocent stone which I transformed into a monster… Look at her sitting innocently down there in her innocent little world! So calm, serene, so relaxed, so happy!
I wonder if she sometimes wishes to be more than she is… I don’t think so. After all, what more could she wish for? She has everything by having nothing.
Seasons pass, people pass, everything changes, only she remains there… permanent witness… Peaceful, still… unmoved.
Her tranquility makes me restless; her happiness makes me sad… She is the opposite of me, yet we are so alike!
I am jealous at her for having the strength to shut up, to stay still, to ‘play dead’, thus playing with life, annoying it… Annoying everything that is alive… annoying me. She seems so certain of everything, that it bothers me!
The only important message she sends is that no matter what, things still happen…. Life goes on. Everything takes its natural course even if you stay still (one stays still); the world won’t stop! And this is so untrue (so unfair!!)!!! It makes me feel so insignificant! My actions matter although they don’t seem to, right now…. Or perhaps they never mattered; they just seemed to… then. I can’t make the difference anymore.
What if she is just a stone? A stone, with no feelings, no soul… nothing. Just a stone. No! I refuse to believe that! It isn’t true! Look at her! What would she say if anyone would listen carefully, closely? What would she sing if she could sing? What would she want to hear if she would have a choice? Where would she go if she could walk? What would she feel if she could truly feel? How does it feel not being able to feel?
It must be painful. And if it is so, it proves me that the only true, reliable, feeling, the one which is always there, the real one, is pain. Maybe love and happiness are just in our imagination. They aren’t true…. They don’t exist. Probably we don’t exist either; we are in someone else’s imagination… Only the stone is there… somewhere. I must hold on to her, so I won’t get lost, so I won’t lose myself.
The world is so big and complicated, yet she makes everything so simple. I wish I could be her! I wonder if she would ever want to be me. I wouldn’t want that if I was her.
She must be essential for this world because everyone takes care of her so well: the rain washes her gently, the snow covers her, the sun keeps her warm and dries her from the rain, the stars enlighten her… everything happens for a reason, and she is that reason.
I probably couldn’t face the responsibility of being a stone.
Still I can’t help asking myself what would happen if… I take her from there? Would I ruin the whole ‘system’? I have the power to move her from down there… but I don’t think I have the strength. I couldn’t face the consequences afterwards. And think of the shame! I would destroy the whole world just to satisfy my curiosity, just to see what would have happened… How selfish of me! She did so much for me and yet I somehow hate her. I am a despicable, filthy, disgusting human being… just like all of us. I could never be like her. No one alive could. She is superior to me, to us…. And that’s what makes her dead, that’s why we say she is dead, because she is better in every way than us. I can tell all this by the way she stands there still, quiet… listening, thinking, judging us, but never telling anything. No vanity, no pride, no selfishness, no lies… she is definitely superior to every one of us but we will never admit it.