Socks rescue shampoo disaster

Smells are important, right? So you wouldn't buy a shampoo before you smelt it would you? Of course not. Some shampoos smell like so much possum piss. Curiously acidic, one might say. Let's face it, my hair needs all the help it can get. On rainy or humid days my hair gets so excited it needs its own postcode. Oh yeah, it's a serious phenomenon. It has lead to much product investigation. Sadly, to no avail. My willful hair refuses to conform to the product promises. But, when carefully chosen, the right shampoo can add that fresh, just washed scent. Maybe it looks like I've put my finger in an electrical socket, but baby, it smells good!

Too much of one particular scent tends to bore me though. Finding a new shampoo is always a challenge. There's so much variety! Where to begin? Smell. Yep, there's nothing like smell as a decision maker. You've smelt those acidic, possum piss ones right? They're just SO WRONG. If you haven't smelt possum piss, consider yourself lucky. It's certainly unique. Acrid enough to bring you to the point of gagging. Unfortunately we live in an area populated by possums that delight in frequently urinating in our garden. Personally I find coffee a more pleasurable start to the day, but there you have it.

I digress. From shampoo to possum voiding habits. Hmmmm.....So we left off smelling shampoos at the supermarket. This involves popping the lid and gently squeezing the bottle so that the contents can be smelt. Emphasis on squeezing GENTLY. It was with a painful degree of utter humiliation that I discovered what happens when you grasp that bottle just a little too forcefully. Picture nostrils and mouth suddenly overflowing with vanilla and almond scented shampoo. Imagine extremely undignified spitting of mouth contents into hands. Desparately trying not to cough. Failing. Funny thing about soap-type stuff. It tends to form bubbles. A lot. Especially when it's spat out of a mouth. Bubbles from nose and mouth, combined with slimy, dripping hands is not a good look in a busy supermarket. Staring fixedly at bottles in front (through a pretty kaleidoscope of bubbles of course) seems like the thing to do.

Right then! Just casually turn to the trolley and nonchalantly place slippery, wet hands on bar. A bright burst of bubble coincide with a cough. Push away. Yep, just step down the aisle and try to ignore the muffled laughs. Arseholes!! Grrr.....

What to do with very wet hands and somewhat shiny mouth, chin and nostrils? Bubbles are escaping from my left nostril. This is NOT funny. Oh dear, have discovered that giggling and/or coughing make bubbles form faster and float away more quickly. Have sudden insight that my efforts to appear like a normal person shopping in a supermarket are failing. Normal people do not giggle hysterically while leaving a trail of bubbles behind them. Nor would a normal person deposit drops of shampoo like some kind of snail trail behind them. No way is that normal. Welcome to my life.

As it turns out, socks are made of relatively absorbent material. Imagining lining up at the checkout and trying to open my purse with hands still soaked with shampoo and saliva (and gross though it is....probably some disgusting snot...eeeeeew), I had to find something to get the mess off with. Socks did the trick. It's not like I was making them DIRTY or anything. Not as though some person is going to buy them and get some DISEASE or anything. If they have any kind of observation skills they'll recognise that the socks smell curiously like vanilla and almonds. Nice. Of course they'll wash them before they wear them, so no harm done with the shampoo residue. Really, it'll come out in the wash. Maybe even enhance the fragrance.

So, you're wondering, what's with the shampoo story? Well, this is my first foray into writing.com. As I see it, the opportunity to expose a little of who I am. Sadly, this shampoo incident is not a singularity. No Siree. My life is often slightly (or extremely) bizarre. What would be considered an ordinary situation becomes somehow strange. This is a running theme in my life. Odd, really.

Fortunately or not, depending on what day you ask me, my life doesn't consist entirely of comical events and hysterical hilarity. However, these are the subjects I'd like to write about. We adults don't laugh enough. Life keeps showing me its absurd face and I'm hoping telling of these situations will lead to a smile or two. Save the pity, ok?

Until next time........remember.....GENTLE squeezing of the shampoo bottle! Just massage that fella!