Facing The Past

         Charlotte curled herself into a tiny ball under her thin covers and tried to sleep. They were fighting again and she hated it when they fought. She tried to block out their screams by covering her ears, but it didn’t help much. The walls of the tiny house in Jersey were too thin.

         “I hate this dump and I hate you!” her mother yelled in another room and heard her dad shout something back she didn’t understand. The door slammed and everything became deathly quiet. She shivered in the faded t-shirt she used as a nightgown and she pulled the frayed quilt over her tiny body so that not even a single rust-colored hair stuck out.

         Charlotte must have fallen asleep because, the next thing she knew she was being pulled roughly from her bed. She bit down on her lip so hard that she tasted her own blood. She knew she shouldn’t yell with the fierce pain she felt as his fingernails sank into her flesh. Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut just before the first blow landed on her jaw, leaving her sprawled on the floor.

         “It’s all your fault,” her dad shouted at her. His face was red with anger and his breath smelled strongly of alcohol.

         Charlotte covered her face with her scrawny arm to keep from looking into his coal black eyes that were burning with rage.

         “She’s gone for good now and it’s all because of you, you evil little bitch.” He kicked her swiftly in the stomach and it instantly took the breath from her body. “Get up.”

         “I’m sorry, Daddy, please I didn’t mean to.” Charlotte didn’t move. She tried desperately to figure out what she did to make her mom leave them. He yanked her up into a standing position and bent down to look directly into her big brown eyes.

         “You’re nothing but a worthless little brat.” he told her, “We were better off without you. I wish you had been nothing more than a stain on the covers.”

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         Charlotte felt someone shaking her and her eyes snapped open. She breathed a sigh of relief when her eyes landed on the achillean man lying next to her. His perfect chest peeked out from underneath the satin sheets and his blue eyes were filed with concern as he reached out to wipe away the tears that soaked her face.

         “Are you okay, Baby?” he asked, stroking her deep auburn hair. Charlotte relaxed as she realized it was just a dream. She was in her Manhattan apartment with Seth, nothing could hurt her now. He pulled her close to him and she rested her head on his shoulder.

         “Yeah, sorry for waking you.” Her eyes began to grow heavy again.

         “You don’t have to apologize,” Seth said. “I love you.” But she had already drifted off into a peaceful sleep. He kissed her forehead and watched her chest rise and fall until his eyes became heavy with sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
         Charlotte slipped out of bed before Seth was awake that morning and tiptoed to the closet. She grabbed her new Armani pant suit and was ready for work in record time. She kissed Seth’s cheek and rushed out of the apartment, letting out a sigh of relief when her Gucci heels hit the pavement. She didn’t feel like answering the mountainous questions that she knew he would have about the previous night. It’s better to let the past die anyway. She had breakfast with a friend at a pretty little diner and got an early start at the firm afterward. She lost herself in her newest case and didn’t realize anyone had come into her office.

         “Oh, I’m sorry. Can I help you?” she asked, just as he was leaving. She wondered how he got in without her secretary noticing. She always made visitors and clients wait to be announced.

         “Um...I...Well...I.” the boy said.

         “You what?” She knew she sounded slightly irritated, but she didn't care.

         “I’m your brother.” He blurted it out so fast that she almost didn’t understand him.

         “Excuse me? Brother? That’s ridiculous. I don’t have a brother. I was an only child. And my Mom ran off when I was five. There’s no way you are my brother, and you should thank your lucky stars you aren’t,” she said standing up. “What do you want from me?” This kid must be off his rocker. My parents didn’t even want me. There’s no way they would have another kid.What is he, sixteen?

         “We have the same father, just different mothers,” he said, never taking his eyes off his ragged shoes. Part of her wanted to call security and have him thrown out, but she softened as she looked him over. He was pencil thin and had wavy red hair that looked a bit unkempt. When she was able to see his eyes, she noticed that they were two deep pools of chocolate that seemed to radiate wisdom far beyond his years. There was a small scar above his left eye and his clothes were faded but clean.

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         She returned to the apartment with thoughts of the boy haunting her. She had taken him out to lunch because he looked like he hadn’t seen food in weeks. She thought about the things he told her for the rest of the night and she knew what she had to do. She didn’t look forward to it, and she didn’t breathe a word about her newfound brother, Ethan, to anyone. Not even Seth.

         Charlotte was wide awake the next morning. She flipped her cell phone open as she made coffee and dialed her secretary’s number.

         “Hi Dana, this is Charlotte. Cancel all my appointments and take the rest of the day off,” she said, “No, I’m fine. I just have somewhere I need to be. Go treat yourself to something, you deserve it.”

         “Where are you going?” Seth asked when she hung up. He slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her. She took a deep breath and drank in his smell. She loved the way he smelled. The Kenneth Cole cologne she bought him last Christmas washed over her like a refreshing breeze. She thought about making something up. He’ll find out sooner or later anyway.

         “To see my dad,” she said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Seth pulled away from her and turned so he could look into her eyes.

         “But I thought you said both of your parents were dead,”

          She knew where this was headed and she didn’t want to go any further with it.

         “I have to go, I’m running late.” She started for the door, but he blocked her.

         “Oh no, I’m not going to let you run away this time. You do this every time something big happens in your life.” Seth said, leading her to a chair and kneeling in front of her. “You have to let someone in sometime, Charlotte.” She could tell that he wasn’t going to let her off easy this time and she tried to make something up, anything would be better than letting him know the truth. She imagined him getting the same look in his eyes that her father always got in his when he looked at her. “Charlotte, please let me in. I love you and nothing can change that.”

         She looked into the oceans that were his eyes and saw genuine concern. No one had ever looked at her like that before. He really does care. She took a deep breath and started from the beginning. He held her while she cried, and then offered to go with her once she was more composed.

         “Thank you, but this is something I have to do alone.” She smiled at him with a new sense of confidence and turned to go. Before she disappeared into the hallway, she turned back around. “I love you, Seth.”

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         She felt better than she ever had even as she pushed the hospital doors open. She stopped at the nurse’s station to ask for John Preston’s room. Ethan was standing outside the door when she found it. He looked up in surprise when she approached.

          “You came?" he said

         “How could I not after I talked to you?” She glanced at the door, knowing who was behind it and tried to remind herself that she wasn’t helpless anymore. He was wrong. You aren’t worthless. You have a man that loves you and a wonderful career.

         “You can go in if you want.” Ethan said. She knew she had to but she would much rather sit outside and get to know her little brother; she had always wanted a brother or sister but she forced herself to go inside. There he was, lying in that bed as helpless as she was when he started beating her years before. His face was weathered with time and too much smoking. His eyes were like two black holes, never showing any sign of emotion. His hair was thinning and he was too weak to even sit up on his own.

         Despite his fragile appearance, all the memories of her childhood washed over her. The cruel words “You’re worthless.” echoed in her mind. She heard him taunting her because she made good grades in school. She remembered the long sweaters she wore to conceal the bruises he that decorated her creamy skin and how the kids made fun of her for wearing them.

         “Nurse?” he said in a voice so weak that she barely heard it. Part of her wanted to run, out the door and go back to the safety of Seth’s arms. The other part of her wanted him to know that she was better than him.

         “No, John. I’m not a nurse, I’m your daughter.” She said. Her voice shook with emotion and she tried desperately to hold it all back.

         “Charlotte? You can’t be Charlotte.” He replied. Her face reddened and she had the urge to hit him the way he used to hit her. She calmed herself down and felt terrible for even thinking of hitting a dying man.

         “Why? Because I’m well-dressed? Because I’m clean? Or maybe you don’t recognize me because I don’t have the bruises to color my skin. Maybe those marks you gave me were how you recognized me.” she said, still trying to maintain control of her emotions.

         “I never hurt you.” He said as he stared deep into her eyes, finally showing signs of recognition.

         “Never hurt me? Never hurt me? All you ever did was cause me pain. Your words have haunted me my entire life. I always felt as worthless as you told me I was. But you know what? You were wrong. I made my own way through life and I thank God that Ethan won’t have to live with you anymore.” She turned to leave, but stopped and turned. “For your sake, I hope God takes pity on your soul.” She spun around and marched back out the door. She stopped on her way out and gave Ethan a kiss on his cheek. “If you ever need anything, you call me okay?” She said softly and slipped a crisp one hundred dollar bill into his hand. He nodded and she left the hospital feeling like a new woman.

         She didn’t shed a tear when Ethan called to tell her that John Preston had passed away. She planned to visit Ethan often and quickly began to take care of the loose ends her father left behind. She had other things to think about, like the big wedding she had to plan. Now that she was comfortable with being Charlotte Preston, she could finally agree to become Mrs. Seth Arlington.