SPAM. We all get way more than our fair share. I decided to reply ;) |
I just received the following e-mail quoted, in part, below: > Dear Candidate, > > You were recently selected by The Office of the Managing > Director for a free listing on The International Executive > Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM. > > Our Researchers gather information from many recognized > sources, including professional associations and societies, > trade organizations, newspaper and magazine articles, > professional reference publications, web presence, and > referrals from existing members. > > As a highly respected professional in your field of > expertise, we believe your contributions merit very > serious consideration for inclusion on The International > Executive Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM. I thought I would respond back with something like this - Dear Sir/Madam - I am truly honored to be considered as candidate. No doubt through your extensive search of professional associations, societies, etc., etc., etc., you have obtained just a mere taste of my remarkable skills. For instance, just today I managed to do seven loads of laundry, sing "Mr. Golden Sun" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" a record breaking twenty two times while simultaneously catching the pitcher of orange juice before it dumped on a two year old head. You will be further amazed to note that I successfully was able to catch the cat before she ran out of the garage, rescue a toddler who was determined to eat dirt and clean a major poopy with the single remaining wipe!!! And all that? Well, that was just in the AM!!! This afternoon I was able (with my superior negotiation facilties) to avert a bloodbath and contribute to world peace when my 7 year old discovered that her 14 year old sister was playing with her Pokemon cards With my exceptional medical skills, I saved a two year old from a full blown seizure right in the middle of my kitchen floor with a mere wave of a graham cracker - oh, and that was after I retrieved Barney, Pooh, Buzz and several other action figures from certain drowning in the toilet. We haven't even touched my executive accounting expertise! This is the champagne life on a beer budget!! As a matter of fact, just this evening I was able to to fool the troops into believing they were getting extra perks with a sensational casserole. Only you and I know it was Sunday night's sauce that I simply mixed with macaroni and topped with cheese. I know you are bound to be impressed by my additional talents, so feel free to make further inquires. And if I don't hear back from you, I'll hold out for the Nobel Prize. Thanks again for that wonderful spam! |