Dont go in to this bathroom its crazy. |
The trip bathroom, the most evil of all bathrooms. Found at the top most floor of an Inner-Buffalo apartment, and made from pure evil. You must first understand before I go any further that if one were to be tripping while trying to use the lavatory in this certain house, that person would find himself oblivious to what callus demented booby traps were pre-built in this fucked four story monster of a house. It was time to leave Kyle and Stewarts for our marijuana reserves had run dry, and all of our agendas had recently been fulfilled. The party was drawing to its conclusion when I had to take a leak. What I went through on that cataclysmic night I wish upon no other person while they are tripping or high. I past the threshold into the scarcely lit cubicle, my eyes unable to make out even the simplest of shapes. As I made my way across the wall I noticed that the light switch was absent. The second alternate place to have a switch is on the actual light fixture... nope not there either. "Kyle where is the light?" The words that would prove to not help my cause at all. "It’s on the thing" she replied with some noticeable laughter in her voice. Great, what the hell is 'the thing' I thought. Back to square one. Taking the flat of my forearm up to the wall I slowly made my way around the left side of the prison. No switch there, shit, I fell half into the shower, which I found out is on the next wall. I finally found the switch, on the little piece of wall directly across from the door, on the little piece of wall faces the left face of the deathtrap bathroom. *FLICK* Holy mother of Jesus, who put a 500 fucking watt light bulb in a bathroom. Now, eyes burning and walking around in circles squint-eyed I bumped in to the toilet. Salvation finally, unzip my fly and ill be on my way. My eyes, fully adjusted to the insanely bright light can now see that there is yet another mountain that my adequately inebriated body must overcome, there in front of me stood the toilet, but no it cant be all simple like that, they had to put the damn thing on two steps. This means that it’s too tall to even do the infamous tippy toe that we all learned as children, I guess that Ill have to use the steps. After three tries of finding the right foot positioning on the oddly slim foot holds that they call stairs, I stood up and was immediately struck down by some force greater then my own. What the fuck just hit me. Looking up while being half blinded by the insane light I discovered that they have a slanted ceiling, rat bastards. Hoping that I would find no more surprise I did what I had set out to do and fled the communist bathroom as quickly as possible. |