A Stab to the Heart

         The limo pulled up in front of the cemetery. A teary-eyed girl stepped out of the car. It was clear that she had been crying for hours upon end. She had even thought of joining her dearly departed, alas no, she couldn’t. They had made a promise, among other promises.
         The ceremony was about to begin. She finally had the strength and tears to cry again. A boy sat next to her and let her use his shoulder to cry. He had become a source of constant comfort. He had also become the holder of his brother’s secret that she, too, held deep inside. He dare not say a word until she was ready. He did care for her more then he showed and appreciated all that she had done. She needed him more than ever now. She was to give a speech after the preacher had his say. She wasn’t ready, but whether she was ready or not did not matter.
         “To Bryan, his life was filled with so many gifts that he felt he did not deserve. I think anyone who has…had ever met him, would know different. I must say that he was the most unbelievable person I have ever met in my life. I love him with all my heart. He told me he intended to marry me, and I had every intention of accepting his proposal. There will never be anyone as kind, loving, or …..I’m sorry….or as wonderful as that man. He once told me that if anything ever happened to him that he wanted me to take care of his family and watch out for his brother. To his wonderful parents, you always treated as if I was already one of the family. I hope that you will continue to let me be apart of your lives. To Adam, I know that so many things may have kept us from being close in the past, though I hope that we can develop our new friendship. I want to thank you for helping me through this. It was one of Adams’s last requests that I sing our song at this ceremony. I know that he is listening and will always be with all of those who loved him. Bryan, darling, this is for you.” Music started playing, and Kari’s beautiful voice came upon the dreary atmosphere. It seemed that for a moment, Bryan had not left them and was there all along. It was so hard for everyone to accept that he was gone.
         Two months later, Kari and Adam were at school talking at lunch, as they now always did. They had become incredibly close, just as she hoped. Really, they could hardly be separated. They went out together to the mall, the movies, and sometimes she slept over at the Madison’s house.
         “So, are we going to the movies tonight?” Adam asked.
         “I guess. What do you want to see?” Kari replied.
         “Oh, no. You pick. Ladies first.”
         “Geez! You always do that. And…,” she pauses, “so did he.”
         “Kar, it’s okay. I finally accept that we were…are similar concerning certain qualities. We’ll check and see what we haven’t seen yet. I doubt we have many choices left this week.”
         “Well, I’m sorry that I like going to the movies,” Kari said, now that she had regained her composure.
         “Ok, subject change. Are we going to dinner for your birthday or not? I know that it will be… hard, however I think we should, you know, keep with the happy times. I mean, it is your eighteenth birthday,” Adam said.
         “Well, I do want to go. You know I love that restaurant. It was where he...well, you know,” she said.
         “Yeah, I know, and I know you’ve been dying to eat that Chicken Alfredo,” Adam added with a smile.
         “How did you know that?” Kari responded quickly.
         “Hmm…let’s see. You said it when we were playing games at my house the other day,” he said matter-of-factly.
         “Okay, we’ll go. Alright, you can’t keep avoiding this though. Are you going to prom with me or not?” Adam knew this was coming.
         “I don’t know. It might feel …just weird to go to prom with my brother’s…girlfriend,” he muttered.
         “Please, I think I might regret it if I don’t go, and I want you to come with me. I don’t think I could go with anyone else. Come on, you know Bryan would want you to.”
         “I can’t believe you’d put that on me. I know he would, but what if people thought we were together,” He pushed out the final word.
         “Adam, I don’t think anyone in their right mind will think that,” Kari ensured.
         “Alright, I guess I’ll go considering it’s next week, and I don’t want you to go alone,” Adam admitted.
         “That’s what I thought, and I had your Mom reserve a tux for you anyway.”
         “You guys have to stop teaming up on me,” Adam whined. After a slight pause, they both laughed and continued to eat their chicken sandwiches.

         The following week, Mr. and Mrs. Madison were taking pictures of the dressed-up pair.
         “Oh, you look so beautiful, Kari,” Mrs. Madison gushed.
         “Well, probably won’t look like this for an extremely long time after this,” Kari replied.
         “Wow, look at the time. You guys better get going before the limo decides to leave,” Mr. Madison said.
         “He’d better not. I paid an arm, a leg, and left a kidney as a deposit for that thing,” Adam retorted. Adam and Kari went outside and entered into the limo. They talked about when Kari was going to college in the next few months. She promised to write often and come to see him on vacations, considering her family might disown her. Kari had received a full scholarship to the state university.
         “You’re going to help me, aren’t you? I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t. I might not get to go to school,” Kari pleaded.
         “Of course, how can I let you go through that alone? Not that I don’t think you could handle it,” Adam quickly added.
         “I know, but I’m just scared,” Kari admitted.
         “It’s okay.” The limo came to an abrupt stop. “Well, considering that the driver has tried to get us to exit through the front windshield, I think we’re here,” he said.
         “No joke. He is so not getting a tip,” she added. They stepped out of the limo, and walked into building.
         “Wow, I guess those sixty dollar tickets were worth it,” Kari said. They both laughed as they walked to find their table. They had decided not to eat, just to socialize and dance. It took awhile before Kari dragged Adam on the dance floor. He tried the excuse of two right feet and no big toe, but she didn’t care if he only had one leg. Once they were on the floor, they rarely left it. Mostly, they played dance hits that they heard on the radio all the time.
         Then, a slow song came on. It was Kari and Bryan's song. She started to cry. Adam took her by the hand and pulled her to him. He was determined to let her have a nice time. Some people cleared the dance floor to let them have the spotlight. So many felt so sorry for her. As they danced, people whispered. Kari could not hear about what, but she couldn’t care less because she was lost in the heart-felt lyrics.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to do all this without him. I miss him so much. I can’t believe he’ll have to miss it all.
Kari stopped thinking for a moment.
I think Adam has gotten taller. He definitely looks different. He looks good tonight though. I can’t believe he almost didn’t come.
She smiled. She suddenly felt like things would eventually work out.

         The following month, Adam drove up to Kari’s house. He dressed up. He wanted her to have a good birthday. He knocked on her front door, and only had to wait a minute before she opened the door. She was wearing a long jacket that covered what she was wearing. Adam knew she would be wearing a dress. No matter how much she passed it off, he knew how important her birthday was, and right now, she was in a rush to get to the car.
         “Whoa! Ready to go, are we?” Adam said.
         “Yeah, can we hurry? That is if you don’t mind.” Kari responded.
         “Yeah, fine with me,” he agreed. They walked over to his car, and Adam opened the door for her. She climbed in and shut the door herself. Adam knew something was wrong then. He quickly walked to the driver’s side and slid in. Most of the ride to the restaurant, they listened to the radio without a word. Adam parked the car, and they went in. He took her coat to hang it up without really looking, and when he turned around, he was in shock. He had never seen her look so beautiful.
         “What are you staring at?” Kari snapped.
         “Whoa! Just a beautiful girl. I’m sorry. I’ll go burn my eyes out for my impudence.” Adam answered.
         “Yeah, ok, can we sit down now?” Kari snapped again.
         “Ok, birthday girl, chill out,” he said. They were seated, ordered their drink and an appetizer. Kari didn’t say anything else.
         “Ok, spill, what’s up? You never snap at me,” Adam questioned.
         “I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to eat and enjoy my birthday,” she said with an irritated tone.
         “Then, can you please smile? It’s your birthday. I know how important it is to you, and like I have mentioned before, you look amazing tonight,” Adam replied. Kari smiled.
         “You’re right. I’m sorry. And thank you. I needed to here that. I promise I’ll tell you what’s wrong after dinner,” she said.
         “Alrighty, I guess that means a walk in the park for us, and I mean literally in case you decide to arm your sarcasm, Miss Thing,” Adam noted.
         “That sounds great,” she assured with a smile. They ate their appetizer, and then ordered the Chicken Alfredo. Kari had not had this much enjoyment in a long time. When they were finished, Adam paid the bill, and they left. He drove them to the city park so they could talk about what was bothering her. They walked along for a while, and then Adam couldn’t take the suspense anymore.
         “Will you tell me now? Are you upset because you were thinking about the issue at hand, should we say, or because one year ago, Bryan asked you if you would marry him when the time came? Which one is it?” Adam nagged.
         “Surprisingly, it’s none of that. It’s my parents. They lectured me about how I should move on, and date other people if I expect to live my life normally. They furthermore went on and on about how much time I spend with you. They ‘don’t think it’s healthy to be hanging around with my deceased boyfriend’s brother all the time or his family,’” Kari explained as her eyes started to fill with tears.
         “What? Do they not understand what you two were or what you had together? I can’t believe they would be that insensitive. Don’t you take anything they said to heart. I know what else they told you, too. They told you that people are going to think you’re crazy if you dwell on the past that you had and the future that you would have had. Didn’t they?” Adam asked. Kari just stood underneath the light and cried. It was already dark, and the lights were the only thing lighting up the park.
         “Look, you don’t deserve to be treated that way, and you know what? I have always wanted the best for you. Sometimes, I would argue with Bryan, telling him that he had better treat you like the wonderful person that you are,” he added as he stepped toward her into the light.
         “What? I always thought I irritated you,” Kari said questionably.
         “Actually, I did happen to care about you. I just didn’t want you to know,” Adam responded.
         “I don’t understand.”
         “I know, and I don’t expect you to. Listen, you are a wonderful person who deserves everything that you want. I believe that whole-heartedly,” Kari started to tear again.
         “You know, Bryan would have been truly proud of you,” she replied. Adam pretended not to hear.
         “Kari, I’m about to do something really stupid, but I’m afraid that I might regret it if I don’t,” Adam said with a quiver in his voice.
         “What?” she questioned. And with that, he took her face in his hands underneath the same light and kissed her.
He pulled away, and Kari stared at him, all words and thoughts escaping her, awestruck.

         Kari walked into her bedroom with a towel wrapped around her head, thinking about the events of the night. She looked at the clock that read eleven thirty in green numbers.
I cannot believe he would do that. I love his brother. We’re just friends. Has he always felt that way? I am so confused. My head and my heart are both in utter shock. He is like a brother to me. Not to say that he’s not a good-looking guy, but I was with his brother for two years. I love his brother. That’s it. There’s no more to it. Then, why does this bother me so much? No, there is no way. There is no way I could have feelings for him. He is…my best friend and my boyfriend’s brother. No. I am just thinking about this too much. I know I’ll forget about it tomorrow. I just don’t know what to say to Adam now. Do I blow it off, act as if it never happened? Should I confront him? I am so confused. I will tell him that I still want to be friends and that I cannot let anything ruin the relationship we have. He is the closest thing I have left to Bryan, but I don’t want him to think that’s the only reason I hang around him so much. I do enjoy his friendship. Oh, I really need to sleep on this. I am not sure what to do at all. Kari brushed her hair and climbed into bed. She had trouble falling asleep though. She had never encountered a problem such as this before and would not have thought that she ever would.

         “Feeding time” is triggered by the sound of same, irritating bell. Kari and Adam met up at their usual table with their chicken sandwiches with Ranch dressing and cheese. An awkward look at first, and Kari leaned over and pushed him.
         “So, what are we drinking today?” Kari asked. Adam obviously did not expect this question.
         “Well, I would prefer if we’d stop with all the soda and drink more juice stuff. Do you have specific preferences?” Adam replied with a hint of nervousness in his voice.
         “I think I’m in the mood for something new. Is there anything particular that you have taken a liking to?” she said.
         “Not really. I don’t think I’m much of a ‘juice connoisseur’, per say,” Adam said.
         “Okay, well, I guess find the weirdest combo, and there you go,” Kari said.
         “Alrighty, then,” Adam said laughingly and stood up to get their juice.
         Is she going to act as if nothing happened? I can’t believe I actually kissed her. I care about her so much. I know that she won’t ever feel the same, but I had to express my feelings. I think I would have died not having ever kissed that wonderful woman.

         I want to say something to Adam, but I don’t think there is anything I can say. Does he have feelings for me, or was he just trying to help me feel better? Should I tell him I didn’t mind? No, because then he would think I might have feelings for him, and I think it’s clear that I don’t. Why is this so complicated?

         “Kari Michelle Williams, valedictorian.” Applause roars from the crowd.
If they only knew how big of an accomplishment this really was.
         “Some say that you must forget the past in order to succeed. I think they just did some things they didn’t want to talk about with anyone. If the past is forgotten, then we lose everything we have gained, the memory of everything we lost, and every thing we could ever learn from and use in the future. The past is one of our greatest treasures, which obviously explains why we study history in school. I know that throughout high school, I have learned so much that I can never forget. It taught me how to live and how not to live. The past has kept me in the present. Do not regret. Just remember. Bryan, once told me that sometimes to live in the present and plan for the future, we must have the past right there in the front of our minds. My past will forever be in my heart because sometimes all we have left are the memories. Why forget things that were so great? I’d like to thank Bryan for everything he did for me. One day, we’ll be together again. I’d like to thank Adam, for being such a pillar of strength and the best friend anyone could ever ask for, my parents for putting up with my perfectionism all these years, now you’ll get a break, Mr. and Mrs. Madison, for loving me as a part of their family and believing in me. I’d also like to thank my friends for helping me get through the tough times. To conclude, I want to say that things may be forgotten, yet they are never lost. You can’t lose what is apart of you. Congratulations graduating seniors! It is our turn to enter the world and live in all its glory.”

         Hey Adam, What’s going on at home? I’m fine. This “early orientation” thing was really cool. I’m getting acclimated to everything here in town. I am so glad I decided to do this. I know where pretty much everything is now, and can get to most of the places I’ll need to go without getting on the highway, which you know I hate being on, almost more than cream of mushroom soup. Oh, wait, now I’m hungry for some chicken, which brings me to another thing. I found a place that said they could give me a job right before schools starts. Therefore, I must move down early to do all that. I’ll be home at the end of the week. We should do something when I get back. Sort of a “Going away” thing. It’ll be the last time I can do anything like that anyway for quite some time. Well, must dash. I really am starving. I have gotten in to this mustard and chicken kick, too, by the way. Weird, yes I know. Love always, Kar

         Hey Kar, Yeah, we should totally do something. There’s that new club that just opened. I know I’m really paranoid about you overdoing things, but I won’t be as obdurate since I know you love to dance. Things are fine here. Both of our parents are starting to wonder about you though. I thought we were going to tell them about your little situation. I won’t say anything about it. We’ll talk about it when you get back. Well, I gotta go. Time to go job-hunting.
Love, Adam

         “I can’t believe I get to actually go dancing and need to fight you over it,” Kari said laughingly.
         “Don’t get used to it. Trust me. I gave myself some austerity while thinking about it,” Adam replied.
         “YEA! I get to go dancing. I get to go dancing. You know, my parents think that I might meet someone new and get out of my “mourning phase.” As if it’s really a phase. If they only knew the truth. It’s as if they never met Bryan or heard him say that he wanted to be apart of their family. Sometimes I think they’ve lost their minds and that they are the ones who need therapy. Can you believe they still want me to go see a psychologist?” she asked.
         “What? I swear. I think they have a case of blindness. No, wait, they just like to argue that the sky isn’t blue. What’s next? Protesting Groundhog’s Day as cruelty to animals?” Adam mocked. Kari laughed so hard that she snorted and immediately put her hand over her mouth.
         “I still think that is so cute,” he said with a smile.
         “Shut up,” she retorted. They drove along, in sometimes the wrong direction, and of course, Adam blamed it on Kari’s poor navigational skills, and she on his pig-headed habit of not asking for directions before hand.
         “Finally, we’re here,” Adam said with a sigh.
         “Oh my gosh, do you think I could get a discount or something?” Kari sarcastically remarked.
         “Yes, of course, for being the weirdest person they’ve ever seen,” he answered. She reached over and smacked him in the arm.
         “Geez, you are so abusive. I now am going to send myself to therapy to heal the wounds of these emotional scars,” he said with a fake crying sound.
         “Wuss. You’re getting hurt by a weak female,” Kari pointed out. They had now walked from the parking lot to the front door of the club.
         “This place must not be that known yet,” Kari mentioned.
         “Well, it seems so because we took several of the wrong dirt roads to get here,” he responded. They entered the building to find a half-empty dance floor. Techno music played as lights and smoke flew around the room.
         “This is my kind of place,” Kari said in awe.
         “Looks like a hippie’s perspective,” Adam returned.
         “Are you actually going to dance?” she asked.
         “Maybe a spin or two, but I think I might just kick back and relax first,” he said.
         “Ok, I want to get a drink first,” she agreed. The pair walked over to the eating area and ordered some drinks.
         “I really like this place so far,” Kari finally said after she has all the silence between them she could stand.
         “Yeah, I guess it’s all right,” Adam replied.
         “Maybe we could come back here when I am home on break,” she suggested.
         “Do you really think we’ll have time for that?” he asked.
         “Well, I’m sure we will eventually, you dork. I’m not condemned to a life of no enjoyment or laughter or anything like that,” Kari retorted.
         “Even a nerd like me knows that, but you know what I mean,” he added.
         “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so defensive about it,” she apologized.
         “It’s okay. I know. You forget that I know you very well,” Adam said. At that point, a tall blond guy walked over to their table.
         “Hi, I was just wondering if I could have a dance with you. One song is all I’m asking. That is if it’s all right with your boyfriend,” the attractive stranger said.
         “He’s (I’m) not my (her) boyfriend,” Adam and Kari responded with in unison.
         “We’re just friends, and I think I could use a dance. That is if it’s all right if I leave you for a little bit, Adam,” she added.
         “I don’t care. I don’t own you or anything. I just ask that you be careful with this one,” Adam ordered.
         “No problem, man,” the man said. He put out his hand. Kari stuck out her hand and put it in his. They walked to dance floor together. Adam kept his eyes glued every second.
         I should have told him I was ready to dance with her. I cannot believe I just did that. I should be the one dancing with her. I should…do many things. He had better get his hands away from anywhere close to any private area. Uh, I do not even want him touching her.
         About half an hour had passed and Kari was still dancing with the same person. Adam had become very fidgety. He could not take his eyes off her. Kari had looked every now and then, feeling guilty for leaving him and having another feeling build in her stomach. She tried to casually look back at him occasionally and felt like she was betraying him.
         I can’t take this anymore. I need some air. Adam stood up from the table and walked toward the door. Kari saw and stopped dancing immediately. She, as politely as she could, being that she was in a hurry, excused herself from her dancing partner and rushed in the direction that Adam went.
         “Adam!” He continued walking out the parking area.
         “Adam! Where are you going?” Kari yelled after him. He stopped at the edge of the gravel and turned around.
         “Yes, do you need something?” he asked calmly.
         “Where are you going?” she asked in return.
         “Just to get some air and to clear my mind,” he replied.
         “You scared me. I thought something was wrong when you left without a word,”
she admitted, “What are you trying to clear your head of?”
         “I’m just dealing with some stuff right now, okay?” Adam said.
         “It’s because I was dancing with that guy, wasn’t it?” Kari blurted out.
         “Yes, that is one thing I happen to be thinking of,” he answered with a rather hurt tone.
         “Adam, it’s not like I’m going to marry that guy or anything. I was just trying to dance. I rather hoped you would come to cut in, so I wouldn’t have to come as rude when I told him that I didn’t want to dance with him anymore. I have wanted to dance with you all night,” she exclaimed.
         “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to dance with each other,” Adam admitted.
         “Why? What’s so wrong with wanting to dance with my best friend?” Kari was almost screaming now.
         “That’s just what bothers me. You wanting to dance with your best friend,” Adam yelled back.
         Suddenly, a car was speeding along the gravel and had lost control. Adam pushed Kari out of its path, allowing the car to hit him instead. He flew at least twenty feet into a parked car’s windshield.

         “Adam? Adam? Please wake up,” Kari’s voice pleaded. Adam heard her and opened his eyes.
         “Are you all right?” Adam asked forthright.
         “I’m fine, but why would you ask me that when you’re the one in the hospital?” Kari said.
         “I don’t care, as long as you’re okay,” he answered.
         “I think you really need to think about yourself instead of me like usual,” she retorted.
         “So, what’s the damage?” he asked.
         “Well, the doctor said you have some internal bleeding that needs to be operated on and they wanted to see if you’d wake up by tomorrow morning to do it. Other than that, some cuts and bruises. Oh, I almost forgot to tell them. I’ll be right back. They need to know that you’re awake,” Kari blurted out as she head out the door.
         Wow, internal bleeding. At least Kari is all right. I don’t what I would have done if she were hurt.
         The doctor and Adam’s parents came in. His parents were all over him for a few minutes. Then, the doctor proceeded to tell that he had to go into surgery the next morning, otherwise, he might not live another week. He continued on to say that there was a chance that they might not be able to stop the bleeding. Adam, now, had the opportunity to turn down the surgery. He looked at his parents and then at Kari. Adam decided to have the surgery. After awhile, the Madison’s left because they needed to go to work the next day and would return afterwards to check up on Adam unless an emergency happened that would require them to be there earlier. Kari was allowed to sleep in his room.
         “I can’t believe this is happening,” Kari said.
         “Hey, it’s okay, it’s not as bad as it seems,” Adam responded.
         “Adam, you could die. I think this outweighs any situation of mine, in case you plan on mentioning anything like that,” Kari snapped.
         “I know, but I just don’t want to focus on the negative,” he added sorrowfully.
         “I just don’t think I can lose you and Bryan both. It was hard getting over one of you, but two of you could put me into cardiac arrest,” she admitted.
         “So, let’s not waste our time thinking about how bad it could be,” he said.
         “Ok, but what I really want to get out may not be exactly what you had in mind,” Kari mentioned.
         “You want to talk about last night, don’t you?” Adam asked.
         “I know you have to have some things to say,” Kari pleaded.
         “Yes, you’re right. I did. I wasn’t going to, but I guess I do not really have much of choice. Ok, when you were dancing with that guy, I wanted to tell him no because I wanted to dance with you so badly, but I didn’t think it would be a good idea,” Adam started.
         “Why?” Kari interrupted.
         “If you’d let me finish, I’ll tell you Miss Impatient,” Adam added.
         “I’m sorry,” Kari said.
         “Ok, anyway. This is truly hard for me to say, for the record. Ok, I didn’t want to dance with you because of how special it is to me. I cannot explain to you how important you are to me. I know you probably really do not want me to bring this up, but I need to. I kissed you for a reason. I…I love you. I have for a long time,” Adam said.
         “I know,” Kari said.
         “What? What do you mean you know? I figured you’d be upset or something of that nature,” Adam admitted.
         “It’s a little bit more complicated than that,” she said.
         “Ok, look, there’s something else I have to tell you. You’ll probably never speak to me again even if I live,” he said.
         “Adam, it cannot possibly that bad,” Kari encouraged.
         “It is, and I told Bryan I would never tell you, but I think you really have the right to know, and it is sitting in my conscience. The night Bryan died, he did tell me to say that he loved you, to sing your song at his funeral and said all his short good-byes, but he also told me was that he did not want anyone to know all the details of how he died. He said it would cause a lot of trouble that he did not want for either for us. That night, after he got off the phone with you, he told me what was bothering him. He had thought about going to the college that gave him a full scholarship in Colorado. He wanted to because he wanted the best, but would only regret leaving you behind. I got very angry with him for thinking of leaving you on your own. He would be gone for four to six years. I couldn’t let him do it, no matter how great the opportunity or bad we wanted him to go. He told me to leave my opinions out of it because it was already hard enough. We started getting a little physical, and I pushed him because he wouldn’t listen to me. Well, he tripped over something, I can’t even remember what it was, and that’s how he fell out the window. I had pushed him, and then I had to watch him roll off the roof and hit the concrete. I ran downstairs and out the door to get to him. I did not think his wounds would be fatal, so I did not get the phone or anything. When I got there, there was blood everywhere. Then, he told me everything and to never tell you that we got into a fight that night,” Adam said as tears started pouring from his eyes.
         “I can’t believe this. You were never going to tell me how he really died. Of all people, you’d think I would deserve to know. He died because you got angry and pushed him. And to think, I had fallen in love with not only my boyfriend’s brother, but now also the reason that he can’t be with me,” Kari yelled.
         “What? You love me? Oh, god, no. Kari, I am so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I will never forgive myself for getting in to such an intense argument. I was only thinking of what would be best for the both of you in the long run,” Adam apologized.
         “I don’t ever want to see you again,” Kari yelled, and then ran out of the room.
         “Kari! Please!” he shouted after her. He broke down into hysterical tears, and all of sudden wanted his wounds to be unfixable so that he would die because this heartbreak was more than he could bear.

         Adam Madison was sitting at his desk in his apartment typing at his computer. He had a term paper due the next day that he was not quite sure that he would finish. He stopped staring at the ceiling, wondering where all the “awesome ideas” that he had told everyone about had gone. After the ceiling procrastination method was wasted, he turned to the pictures on his desk. Tears welled up in his eyes. The thought of the wonderful person that was no longer in his life crossed his mind everyday. He had not dated anyone or even looked at another girl.
         “Ok, back to work, before you lose your scholarship,” Adam muttered to himself.
Suddenly, the phone rang.
         “Nope, Adam is currently not taking calls,” he said to the phone. It rang three more times, triggering the answering machine.
         “Hi, Adam, it’s dad. We really want to talk to about coming home for a while during the summer. We know you need to work to pay your tuition, but we would love to help you out. Your mom and I just want you know that whenever you need some help, we’re here for you, son.” The machine beeped acknowledging the end of the message.
         Well, I guess the whole talk about me doing everything on my own did not hold up for very long. I just want to do everything by myself so that I can somehow make up for…many things.
         The phone rang again.
         “Wow, they’re psychic,” Adam said. The machine came on, but this time with another voice.
         “Hey Adam, it’s me, Kari,” Adam had given his full attention to the little black box in his kitchen, “I know it’s been a long time. What, five years, now? I know there are so many things we both probably have to say, and I want the chance to say them…” Adam had jumped from his chair and grabbed the phone as fast as he could.
         “Kari?”
         “Adam?”
         “Hi.”
         “Hi.”
         “Well, now that you’ve picked up, I wanted to know if I could come over and talk to you about some…stuff,” Kari said.
         “Of course, you’re welcome here anytime,” he answered hopefully.
         “Are you busy tomorrow?” she asked.
         “I have a class in the morning, but I’m free for the rest of the day, and it’s my day off,” he responded
         “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.
         “Bye.”
         “Bye.”
         The next day, Adam could barely focus in his class. He had actually finished his paper and got it turned in. The class would never end. Finally, it ended after what seemed like a millennia. He went straight home to make sure his apartment was picked up and looked decent for company. He didn’t want her to think he was a college boy who could not take care of himself.
         “I hope if she gets hungry she doesn’t mind pizza,” he said aloud as he thought of the empty fridge. A knock came at the door.
         “Oh, god,” he said out of surprise. Adam quickly walked over the door, peeked eagerly in the peephole. Through it, he saw a wonderful and beautiful face. He calmed himself and opened the door.
         “Hi,” Adam said as he looked at Kari and then looked beside her and stopped.
         “Hi. Adam, this is Emma.” Adam could do nothing but stare at the little girl standing before him.
         “Hello,” she giggled. Adam finally found himself.
         “Please, come in. Make yourselves at home,” he said as he pointed the way. The ladies walked in as Adam shut the door.
         “She can watch the TV while we talk in the dining room, area more-like. If that’s all right with you,” Adam suggested.
         “Sounds great,” Kari answered. She walked over and sat down. Adam turned on some cartoons and followed her.
         “So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked.
         “Well, a lot of things, actually,” she started, “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, first of all, for not calling you sooner. I guess I just needed some time to sort out some stuff and get settled with my life,” Kari said.
         “Look, I’m just surprised you decided to call, and I couldn’t be happier that you are here now. So all apologies accepted,” he responded.
         “I don’t know where to start with you now. I want us to be friends again, and I definitely want you in her life,” Kari continued. Emma had gotten up and come over to the table.
         “Mommy, I’m hungry,” she whined.
         “Oh, sweetie, can you wait a little while?” Kari asked.
         “I’m really hungry though,” Emma said.
         “Do you have anything that she can have for now?” Kari asked hesitantly.
         “Actually, I don’t have anything. I’ve been ordering pizza for the past week,” Adam said apologetically. Kari laughed.
         “Well, do you mind watching her for a minute while I go get us all something,” Kari asked.
         “Not at all,” he said.
         “Great. I’ll go to the store and get the basics, and it’s on me. Emma, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Kari added, grabbed her purse and walked out the front door. Adam was about to lose his mind thinking about what to say to his niece.
         “Are you my daddy?” Emma blurted out. Adam was in shock.
         “No, sweetie, I wish I could be, but no. Don’t you know who your daddy is?” he answered.
         “Mommy told me that he was in Heaven, but you look like my daddy,” she responded.
         “No, I’m your daddy’s brother. So, I’m your Uncle Adam, sweetie,” he explained.
         “Ok, but will you be my daddy anyway, cause I really want a daddy,” Emma asked.
         “You’ll have to ask your mommy about that,” he replied sorrowfully.
         “Do you love my mommy?”
         “Yes, very much,” he answered honestly.
         “Ok. I wish Mommy would hurry up. I’m hungry,” Emma whined again. Adam laughed.
         “Do you have any movies?” Emma asked.
         “Not many, and none I think you would like,” he answered.
         “Darn!” Emma exclaimed.
         “You’re so cute,” he said as he continued to laugh. They sat together on the couch and watched what was on TV. Finally, Kari made it back to the apartment. She went in to the kitchen, hunted for some plates, and started making sandwiches. It had not even been five minutes when Emma spoke.
         “Can Uncle Adam be my daddy?” Kari started coughing.
         “Emma! Don’t blurt things out like that. We talked about this. Come and get your sandwich. I rented a movie for you to watch, by the way,” Kari said. Emma eagerly ran into the kitchen.
         “What is it, mommy? What did you get?” Emma asked.
         “Beauty and the Beast,” she replied.
         “Yea!!” Kari carried two more plates in to the living room and went to put the movie in. They all ate and enjoyed the beginning of the movie.
         “Ok, now back to our little talk,” Kari started.
         “Kar, we’ve got plenty of time for all that. I just want to enjoy this,” he interrupted.
         “Enjoy what?” she asked.
         “This one dream come true,” he answered. Kari started to tear. Emma had climbed into her lap and laid down.
         “Adam, I don’t think it will work out,” Kari said after awhile.
         “I know, but this, right here, is all I want. I just want you back in my life,” Adam admitted.
         “Uncle Adam loves you, Mommy,” Emma said sleepily.
“I know, sweetie,” she replied.
         “Do we have to go home tonight, Mommy?” Kari and Adam looked at each other.
         “No, Emma, you are home,” Kari replied.