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Rated: E · Article · Personal · #1029134
How to turn short term help into a lifetime of therapy
JUST GET OVER IT

In order to tackle my anxiety, I have decided to dissect my days into seconds with the intention of enjoying each one to the fullest. Since it's humanly impossible to donate virtually every second of my life to this cause, I make it a point to scan myself as often as possible and whenever I think of it. I start by taking a deep breath and watching which part of my body is affected when I slowly exhale. If I'm tense in the shoulders, then I make it a point to relax them. If the tension is in the arms, the neck, the face, I'll make the same conscious effort to relax them as well. If the tension is, from one to ten, at ten or near it, I make it a goal to bring it down at least by one point. If it's already low, I still work on lowering it even more.

I've been thinking about this a lot and I've discovered that even though the words, just get over it, coming from a person who has no problem with anxiety, are offered to minimize the burden of my anxiety, and come across as downright insulting, there is some truth to them. I've made it my personal mission to 'just get over it' via the breathing exercise I just described and by watching what I'm telling myself. I also practice stress-relieving exercises as well. These are the only tools I have at the moment, so I've been using them to my greatest advantage.

Furthermore, as I concentrate on my breathing, I make every effort to enjoy each breath I inhale. I realize I have a choice every time I take a breath; I can polish the moment and make it shine for me, or I can allow it to remain dull and unfulfilling. But what's the point in that? What do I want out of life? A sparkling moment or a drab and lifeless one?

I've decided to take responsibility for my own enjoyment. After all, by some divine miracle I can't explain, I have this moment now that's dependent upon my breathing so I can stay alive. When I take a breath and focus on it, I purposely make it a point to enjoy it in every way I can; I revel in it. If no other moment in my day will bring me some enjoyment, at least I can have this one small breath to use for my edification. It's free and it's available at all times. How can I afford to go on choosing to ignore this easily executed self-administered balm now that I've discovered the plain and simple truth?

So, if I can have one moment for sheer pleasure, why can't I have another? And another?

Hey, look at me; I'm just getting over it!

Anyway, as ludicrous as this may sound, the exercise works. I find I'm not always on ten any more. Sometimes the tension is as low as three or even two. That's saying a lot for someone who has always been on a ten one hundred percent of the time 365 days a year!

Life is lived from one moment to the next, not from decade to decade. I may not have control over the next year or the next day or even the next hour, but I do, by golly, have control over my next breath. What a privilege! I can do whatever I want with it! It's my choice. No one can ridicule that breath; no one can blame me for it; no one can begrudge it of me; no one can insult it, correct it, confront it, and no one can take it away from me.

I've learned that sometimes advice, such as the words just get over it, said non-chalantly and without understanding, may nevertheless be jam-packed with good, solid counsel. Instead of taking offence, perhaps I should make it a habit to fossick through any seemingly unfeeling words that I may hear in the future for the serendipitous treasure I may personally be able to glean from them.

I am well aware of how short life is and how quickly I have come through the years. I may not be able to do a thing about time, but I can make it easy on myself the next time I have an ordeal to face; I can either let it get to me, or I can do whatever I can to just get over it.

PART TWO
Anxiety

We tell ourselves it's going to take forever to get over our anxiety. After all, we say, it took all our lives to get this way. I've come to realize that this is not true! It only took a moment to become burdened by anxiety. In one deep breath, that happened years ago, we took in either a negative situation, environment, upbringing, or whatever, in a lifestyle of dysfunction or abuse, and have been carrying it with us ever since. It seems like it took all our lives to get this way because that moment happened so long ago. But, in fact, it took no longer than the time it takes to draw one breath. The damage was done quickly. Negativity was born the moment we allowed it to affect us. No one forced it on us. Sure, in most cases we were either too young to see there were other alternatives, or we were too naive, too weak, too confused, too hurt, etc. The fact still remains we chose to go in the direction we did, and we did it in a split second. So if we were able to accomplish such a negative deed in such a powerful way that it's affected us for so long, so quickly, and effectively, why can't we make the same quick deed now and be just as successful with a positive result that will affect the remainder of our lives?

We think we have to slog through a heavy shroud in order to reach that light at the end of the tunnel which never seems to be close enough. The harder we try, the further out of reach it seems to get. Somehow we believe with a lot of persistence and a bucketful of patience, we will, one day, tackle our problem once-and-for-all and we will finally climb out of this all-encompassing anxiety.

The truth of the matter is, the longer we stay in this negative condition, the longer our situation seems hopeless. It's important to do whatever it takes to get out of this rut as soon as possible. As soon as you realize how easy it is to come out of, act on it. Don't wait. The end of the tunnel isn't going to come to us; we have to go get it. NOW!
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