The Secret Yurt of Doctor Wheelie

The Secret Yurt of Dr. Wheelie
Oh, Dr. Wheelie had a secret yurt,
It was so secret it made him hurt
Just a portable tent from East Asia
A tag on the inside read, “made in Malaysia”
Tanned leather orange,
Only had one door hinge.
Dr. Wheelie installed a heater,
Ow!, He fell down on the ol’ bleater
Hurt in his brain case,
Wheelie made haste,
To see his secret yurt
But lost was the beloved yurt
The timeshare had gone to Sergeant Burt.

Oh, Dr. Wheelie had a secret yurt,
The fact that his timeshare had expired made him hurt,
So he decided to keelhaul Burt.
They went to the shore to boat fish,
And with a noise sounding like a swish,
Burt was dragged along the bottom,
His glass eyes and wooden teeth performing lobotomy on a fishy.

Oh, Dr. Wheelie had a secret yurt,
He loved it so much he hauled Burt
At the bottom of the sea.
As Wheelie stepped into his yurt,
He looked to his cei-ling,
And saw the cockles alive, alive-o!
In the corner of the yurt, there was a gurt
Big cockle eater, who grinned and said “Cockles to you, to you-o!”
Wheelie lay down in a bed shaped like color,
And turned to an effigy of his lover,
A figurine of gold named Comatose.

Oh, Dr. Wheelie had a secret yurt,
His wife loved him and it had hurt
To leave her for this golden doll,
But sweet, sweet, Comatose,
A lovely thing, despite her gall
Was the pride of the yurt,
Collectin’ moss was her thing
She kept the green on her three-handled family credenza,
Atop her cockle-spiker extravaganza
Comatose spiked cockles alive, alive-o,
Until they were cockles a shish, a shish kabob-o

Oh, Dr. Wheelie had a secret yurt,
One day the police came and made him hurt,
He was accused of the lobotomy of Sir Fish,
Arrested for the sound of a wish,
And the fact that his cockle quiche was sub par.
Taken away in a car made of disco corks,
Before he was thrown into a rubber ball of class,
Wheelie had his last say, as he horked a hi-fi key.
He trumpeted: “This is not the last of Doctor Wheelie!”