A Few Liberties

"They thought I died in Saint Helena," Napolean grunted as he cocked the shotgun in his hands. "But make sure when you kill a man, you finish the job."

Napolean lept off the fire exit and landed with a quiet thud on the cold cement ground of the alleyway. The crack dealer grinned in anticipation, drawing out an Uzi and aiming it right at General Bonaparte.

"CUT!" Arnold Morgan screamed out as the cameras shut off. "That was perfect!"

Arnold stood up from the director's chair. A sharp pain shot up his back. It never used to hurt like that. But after 28 movies, he wasn't as young as he used to be.

"Teddy, you were brilliant in that scene!" Arnold smiled as he put his arm around Napolean. "I honestly thought you were Napolean. It sent shivers down my spine."

Teddy shook his head. "I don't know...I didn't feel like Napolean. Would he really be carrying a shotgun around? Napolean doesn't seem like a shotgun type of guy. He should have a high-powered assault rifle or something. Or a crossbow! That'd be wicked!"

"I put a lot of research into this," Arnold shot back. "Trust me, if Napolean traveled to the future to fight crime, he'd be carrying around a shotgun."

As the two men continued to discuss the character, a backdoor in the corner of the room opened up. A young man walked inside the set, the professional black suit he wore tried to hide the fact that he had really no idea what was he doing. He nervously crept around the back of the set, talking to a few of the backstage workers to find the director. They pointed to Arnold.

"Excuse me, "the young man said pleasantly as he walked up to Teddy and Arnold. "My name's Nick Palmer, the studio sent me."

Arnold's weathered face wrinkled in confusion. "Studio?"

"Umm...yeah. They told me you knew I was coming. I'm supposed to stay on set a few days while you film the Waterloo scene, to make sure everything goes perfectly," Nick explained, tapping his fingers nervously against his legs.

"Oh god, so the studio doesn't think some old guy can't handle a big action sequence, "Arnold whined. "I've been making movies for 30 years, I know what I'm doing!"

Nick shrugged. "I'm sorry, I really don't think you need to be babysat either, but it was the studio's decision."

There was a few seconds of silence. "Well, Nick," Arnold stretched out his hand as a greeting. "Let's try to make this experience as pleasant as possible. Let me show you around."

---

Nick poked the fake corpse. A large prop knife was lodged in it's throat. Arnold smiled at it's craftmanship.

"We're using that for the final scene in the movie, "Arnold grinned. "Napolean has a knifefight with a Cuban Drug Kingpin on top of a moving train, and then he stabs him right in the neck."

Nick's eyebrow raised. "Uh...could I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Arnold replied warmly.

"The studio just told me that this was a film about the life of Napolean Bonaparte," Nick explained. "Uh...I don't remember Napolean fighting drugdealers during his life."

"This movie isn't that simple. This is a time-traveling supernatural action thriller, not a biography of Napolean," Arnold explained. "See...this movie imagines what it'd be like if Napolean didn't die in the 1800's...what if he got his hands on a time machine, and travelled to the future to fight crime."

Nick gasped in awe.

"The world Napolean knew is no longer around. Crackheads and hookers roam the streets. Crooked cops try to take him down. It's a dirty world...and the only way Napolean can fit in, is if he plays dirty with it," Arnold plopped down on the couch in the corner of the room. "At it's heart, this movie is really just about trying to fit in."

Nick sat down on the couch next to him. "And the Waterloo scene? That's the one the executives are worried about."

Just mentioning the Waterloo scene seemed to brighten Arnold's face. "All my life I've been waiting to do a scene like that. It's going to the most action-packed, gore-intensive scene ever filmed in the history of cinema," he smiled. "I'm getting older, and I don't have many more movies left in me. But my dream has always been to film a really violent action scene, and I think I may finally fulfill it tomorrow when we shoot it."

Nick seemed nervous. "It's not going to be too dangerous or expensive, is it?"

"No, of course not," Arnold replied quickly. "It's very subtle."

---

A helicopter flew through the air, firing a missle into the large sign that said 'Welcome to Waterloo'. Three tanks sped down on the ground below it, a man with a machine gun stood on one of them, firing at a large mechanical spider prowling along the side of a building.

"MORE FIRE!" Arnold screamed into the megaphone, pointing at the flamethrower-wielding soldier near the back. "I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU'RE ACTUALLY TRAINED IN THE ART OF FLAMETHROWING!"

Nick watched in horror. Explosions. Fire. Mechanical monsters. Millions of dollars, blowing up in his face. He tugged on Arnold's shirt, "You've got to stop this! This is madness!"

Arnold turned and screamed at him, "THIS IS FILM!"

Teddy suddenly appeared in the sky in his Napolean costume, parachuting from a blimp. He held a crossbow in his hands which he fired at the large mechanical spider.

"THIS IS FOR JOSEPHINE!" he screamed as he launched bows through the air.

Arnold clapped triumphantly. He plopped down on his chair. It hurt, but he didn't care. He was making movies.

Nick stood speechless.




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