New Beginnings

I walked by them and was shocked by what I saw. A pang of jealousy shot though my body. Standing, lips locked were my best friend and his ex-girlfriend.
"Yeah I see that you two aren't getting back together." I mumbled as I passed them.
Only days before he'd told me that they were broken up for good, this time. Yeah they've been going out for two years and break up every couple of months for a day or two. Then they decide that they can't live without each other and get back together. It's a never-ending cycle.
I walked on to fourth period trying not to get upset again. He is my best friend and I just don't get why he stays with her.
I make it to fourth period and it's the same as normal. A bunch of annoying guys who don't know when it's not a good time to pick around. I keep catching myself snapping at them and I'm not even sure why. I try to bite my tongue but images keep coming back to me of them and I get upset all over again.
Finally school is over and I make my way out to the parking lot to wait for my ride. I say them standing in their old spot, near the corner, him holding her hand protectively. She looked at me and smirked before pulling him closer. Then she kissed him softly.
I looked away in disgust. I needed to talk to him but I knew I had to stay out of the way. I was used to it. We talked every night and mostly at school whenever they were broken up. But when they were together, she was with him all the time.
"Back together again?" My cousin Lena asked.
I turned and nodded at her. She knew the whole story.
"Bummer. I thought he told you they were finished for good this time." Lena said.
"I did too. But you know how they are." I replied.
"How who are?" I voice close to my ear whispered.
I turned around to see Brian standing behind me.
"Is she not going to get mad at me?" I asked as he wrapped me up in a hug.
"I'll leave you two alone." Lena said turning to leave.
"I told you I don't care." Brian reminded me.
"Well you seemed to care this morning when you wouldn't even talk to me." I said pulling away.
"Look Brooke it's complicated." Brian said.
"It doesn't have to be." I replied.
"I love her Brooke." Brian said.
"You know that's not true Brian." I replied.
"Yeah it is." Brian said.
"Look I don't want to hear about how much you love her okay?" I said.
"Brooke I know you don't like her..." Brian began.
"Don't like her. That's not even the beginning of it. Look I've gotta go. I've got volleyball practice in ten minutes and I've got to change." I said.
"I'll walk with you." Brian offered.
"That's okay. I'm not Jennifer remember? I'm not that needy. You don't have to lead me around. I can find it by myself. I'm a big girl." I replied a little harshly than I'd meant to.
"I didn't mean it that way and you know it." Brian replied.
"I don't have time to argue with you about what I mean. I have to go to practice." I said turning and walking away.
I knew Brian was following me but I didn't say another word. I walked down the ramp and reached to open the gym door. I paused for a moment preparing to go in.
I could feel Brian's breath on my neck that's how close he was. I felt him gently touch my arm. I turned to look at him and tell him to go away.
I was shocked by how close he was.
"Brian..." I began.
"Shhh." Brian replied.
He leaned in and softly kissed me. His lips were warm and soft. I pulled back quickly, acutely aware that we weren't the only ones in our school's commons area.
"Brian I... I can't talk. I've really got to go." I said turning and walking into the gym.
"Promise you'll call me." Brian said.
"I'll call you." I said looking back and catching a final glimpse at him before the door closed.
Practice seemed endless. My passes where horrible and I kept hitting the ball into the net. I got frustrated with myself, so to the point that I went to the locker room between JV and Varsity practice and cried. Two of my friends on the team came in and I made something up.
I finally went home and called Lena.
"He kissed me." I said after a moment.
"No way." Lena said obviously not believing me.
"Yeah. He walked me to the gym and we were arguing. I was about to leave and then he kissed me." I said starting to speak faster than normal.
"Wow..." Lena said amazed.
"Yeah and now I've got to call him." I said.
"So you've called him a million times before." Lena pointed out.
"Yeah but never after he's just kissed me." I reminded her.
"Well you call him and then call me back. I'll be waiting." Lena said.
She didn't even wait for me to reply. She hung up the phone not giving me any time to make excuses.
I sat the phone down for a moment and then picked it back up. I dialed each digit of Brian's number carefully. I got to the last one before I chickened out. I slammed the phone back down and put my hand to my chest. I could feel my heart racing.
I took a deep breath and slowly began to calm down. I picked the phone back up and dialed the number again, this time finishing. The phone began to ring.
Once, twice, three times. The phone continued to ring. I thought no one was home but Brian knew I was going to call. As I was just about to hang the phone up someone answered.
"Hello?" A female voice asked.
"Can I speak to Brian?" I asked.
The voice harden quickly as they realized it was another female on the line.
"He's not home right now." The female replied.
Suddenly I realized who it was. It was his ex or maybe reinstated girlfriend Jennifer.
"Um. Will you just tell him Brooke called and that I'll call him back later?" I said not wanting to cause a scene.
"Brooke? This is Brooke?" Jennifer asked.
"Yes." I replied.
I heard the phone click and it took me a second to realize what had happened. She had hung up on me.
"That bitch has pushed me too far." I muttered as I dialed the number again.
The phone rang and again Jennifer picked up.
"Hello?" Jennifer asked.
"Can I please speak to Brian?" I asked.
"He's not home." Jennifer replied.
"Then what are you doing in his room?" I asked.
"How do you know I'm in his room?" Jennifer asked.
"Because it's not like this is the first time I've called his house." I replied smartly.
"Look he doesn't want to talk to you." Jennifer said.
"Will you cut the bull shit. If he didn't want to talk to me then he wouldn't have told me to call." I said.
"We're back together now. He doesn't want to talk to you anymore." Jennifer retorted.
"Look if you don't let me talk to Brian right now, you're going to say something you'll regret."
"I don't regret anything. Brian is totally taken care of right now. By me."
"You call following him around taking care of it? You must have a totally opposite definition of it." I said getting really angry.
"Look bitch I don't know who you think you are but I'm tired of you trying to move in on my boyfriend." Jennifer replied.
"I don't know who you think I am either. But if I would have really wanted your boyfriend, I would have taken him." I said.
"What in the hell are you talking about. You couldn't take Brian away from me if you tried." Jennifer said.
"Wanna place a bet on it?" I asked slamming down the phone.
I reached down and slid on my tennis shoes. Then I grabbed my keys from my bedside table.
"It's war now." I muttered walking out of my room.
I dropped my keys on the table by the door. I had too much angry energy to drive. I bent down and tightened my shoes, before running out the door.
I ran towards Brian's house, only two miles away. The cold wind shocked my lungs, making me breathe harder. I was surprised that it was so cold to be only October.
I checked my watch as I walked up his front doorstep. Eighteen minutes and five seconds. That was almost a minute faster than I ever ran it during track season. I shook my head and rang the doorbell.
Brian's mother came to the door.
"Brooke it's nice to see you again." She said wrapping me up into a hug.
"Thanks Mrs. T." I said hugging her back.
"But I know you're not here to see me. I know you came to see Brian." She replied.
"Well kind of." I admitted.
"He's in his room with Jennifer. Why don't you go wait in the living room while I go get him." She said.
"Thank you." I replied.
I knew she sensed the discomfort between Jennifer and I. She was the sweetest person I knew and did anything in her power to keep me away from her.
As I sat down on the sofa to wait for Brian, I thought about what I was going to say. I could hear Mrs. T in the background.
"Brian I need you to come in here for a moment." She said.
I heard two sets of feet crossing the carpet as the got closer.
"Someone is here to see you Brian." She said softly.
I heard Mrs. T set off in the other direction. As I looked up, I saw Brian standing directly in front of me.
"I'm sorry about her." Brian said sitting on his knees directly in front of me.
"Shh." I said quieting him.
I leaned forward until I could feel his breath on me. I watched him close his eyes in anticipation of what was coming. My lips met his softly, brushing past each other in a quick moment. Brian reached up and pulled my face closer to his.
I reached to his face and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt his tongue penetrate my lips and I welcomed into my mouth. I felt his hands move from my face and run across my arms giving me chills.
His hands continued to move and I wasn't quite sure where they were going. Mine ran through his hair, feeling how soft it was. His hands finally stopped at my hips. He pulled me closer, until my legs wrapped around his body.
We pulled away for momentarily, to catch our breath.
"I... I... I love you." Brian whispered breathlessly before pulling me into another searing kiss.
I suddenly sat up, pushing him away.
"Brian we can't." I said.
"But it feels so right." Brian replied leaning his head against my legs.
"I know. But what about Jennifer." I replied.
Brian sat straight up looking into my eyes.
"What about her?" Brian asked.
"Do you love her?" I asked softly.
"A part of me will always love her." Brian admitted.
"No Brian. Do you love her more than you love me?" I asked with tears forming in my eyes.
I willed, forbid myself to cry.
"I don't know Brooke. I'm not even sure how much I love you yet. But I know I'd be willing to give up anything for you." Brian said.
"You have to be with her then. If you're not sure you have to be with her." I said reaching up to wipe the few tears that had betrayed me away.
"I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you." Brian said.
"If you love her more than me then you have to be with her." I said standing up.
"Brooke wait." Brian said grabbing my hand.
"No Brian. Go to her. Go to her know before I change my mind and take it all back." I said.
"Is... Is this good-bye?" Brian asked with tears coming to his eyes.
"I don't know." I admitted.
"I know you've made your decision and I'm not going to try and change it. But can I have one last kiss?" Brian asked.
I nodded with tears streaming down my cheeks. Brian reached up and softly kissed me. His lips brushed mine sending sparks through my body. I pulled away.
"Good-bye Brian." I whispered.
"Don't cry." Brian whispered reaching up and wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"Good-bye." I said turning and walking to the door.
Brian didn't follow me. I glanced behind me and saw the hurt I felt reflecting off his face. As much as I wanted to turn back, I didn't allow myself.
"Brooke, please don't go." I heard Brian whisper.
I opened the door, walked out, and closed it behind me. A sob escaped from my lips.
"I will always love you Brian." I whispered knowing he couldn't hear me but hoping he had.
I began the long walk back to my house. I started slowly but began to run. I couldn't see because of the tears so but I continued to run blindly, still feeling the sidewalk beneath my feet.
I made it home and crawled into bed. I covered my face with the blankets and never wanted to get up. I cried myself to sleep.
My dreams were filled with Brian. All I could think about was him kissing me and him holding me tightly.
A knock on my window frightened me from my sleep. I quickly turned on my lamp made my way to the window, in an opportunity to stop them from knocking on the window until they woke my mother up.
I opened it quickly. The person standing on the other side gasped.
I couldn't see who it was, even with the light shining.
"You scared me." They whispered.
"I scared you?" I asked.
"Can I come in?" The voice asked.
"Can you be quiet?" I asked.
"Yeah." The voice replied.
I stepped back, allowing the mysterious person entrance. I gasped softly as the face came into view.
The ocean blue eyes and jet black hair always took my breath away but that night it seemed to open something inside me that I'd never felt before. Something that I wasn't sure if I wanted to feel.
"What are you doing here?" I asked turning and walking towards my door.
I turned the lock and then made sure it wouldn't open. I didn't need my mom coming in and assuming that something was happening.
"Ask me again." Brian said.
"Ash you what?" I asked, not realizing what he was talking about.
"Ask me again if I love her more than I love you." Brian said.
"Brian we can't go there again." I replied.
"No you have to listen. After you left, I went back to my room confused about what I should do. But when I saw her, I knew. I knew that she wasn't the one I wanted to be with. I knew that it was you." Brian said softly.
As he spoke, he took my hand and led me over to my couch. He sat down and pulled my down beside him. He looked deep into my eyes, searching for how I really felt. I looked away, scared of his intensity.
"Brian we can't." I said.
"We can't what Brooke? Be together? Be in love? What Brooke?" Brian asked.
"How could you in ten minutes time realize that I was the one you wanted to be with? How come the second I left and for the first time you realized that I might not be there, you decided you needed me? " I said reaching for Brian's hand.
"Because I finally faced the realization that I might lose you." Brian admitted.
"Don't make this decision out of the fear that you'll lose me. Because no matter how it turns out, I'll always be there for you." I said.
"I'm not making this out of fear. I'm making this decision out of love. I don't... Brooke it hurts me to think that I could lose you. And I'm not talking just friendship. I don't feel the same way about her, that's why I called it quits between us." Brian replied.
"You know that after this, no matter what happens, we won't ever be able to go to back to the way they were." I said finally able to look into his eyes.
I realized how beautiful his eyes were. The probed mine for searching for more, a deeper meaning into what I was saying. I looked deep into his eyes and for the first time, saw an everlasting love.
"I know." Brian said softly, leaning in close to me.
I felt his warm breath tickle my cheek.
"It'll be better." Brian whispered into my ear.
Then he reached for my cheek and pulled me even closer. I felt his lips touch mine as we hungrily kissed each other. Each kissing was filled with longing and fillings that had waited almost too long to come out.
I knew things defiantly wouldn't be easy for us. For a while it was hard for us to even be friends. But by looking into Brian's eyes, I knew we could pull it off.