Deep Inside

The tears are running cold down my face and the smile on my lips is smothering my emotion. I feel exhausted, in my mind I've been running for days but in reality I'm still numb on the ground. My limbs ache with the crying and I've given up. All I have left is the fake smile written on my face, hiding my truths and keeping my secrets bound. Those same secrets which tore me to desperation in the beginning. In the beginning, where the light was. At the end, where the light is. I can see the rays of hope but they're moving away, because they sense my unworthiness. These truths and secrets, driving them away like a soldier drives his blade into the motionless body of an enemy. Or is it a victim? No - body knows. Like the light, everything is an uncertainty. Everyone is unsure and as I lie here in my dreams, I wonder whether really the ropes keeping me here, the hidden truths, are really my enemies? Or have I victimised myself into believing that what is there, really is only a figment of my imagination.

But still I smile and wait, only now I'm crying on the inside.