Healthy as a Horse

         Edna had to be the envy of all the senior citizens in the whole state of Texas. By the age of 85, she had climbed the the peak of every mountain imaginable. She had dived in the oceans. Back-packed across Europe. She ran in the Chicago Marathon and various triathlons for over 50 years. Skateboarded and rollerbladed. Edna tried it all.
         The Valleyview Retirement Community was full of seniors ready to take it easy for the rest of their lives. A big adventure for them was to eat out at the nearest country buffet restaurant, or do a bit of shopping at the Wal Mart.
         Edna was persuaded by Ruthie, her best friend of 70 some odd years, to move to Valleyview. After all, Edna had outlived all her sisters and brothers, and she had been too busy living life to the fullest to marry and have children.
         For years Ruthie had tried to convince Edna to relax. She was always out biking around, or even skating around on those silly in-line skates. Why not sit with the others and play some bridge or gin rummy?
         The other seniors were concerned also. Of course, they didn't know Edna like Ruthie did, but they didn't hesitate to voice their thoughts to her. Generally the women wanted Edna out. All she seemed to be was an egomaniac. The men, on the other hand, found her to be pretty intriguing...and maybe a little intimidating.
         Well, Ruthie decided to have a bingo party. She invited Edna and wouldn't take no for an answer. Edna finally caved and biked over after dinner that night.
         The party went well, and even after everyone got all bingo-ed out, the chatter continued. Then Edna mentioned her latest escapade. Next month she would be bussing out to the Grand Canyon. Ruthie suggested that they try to rent a bus for a large group from the community. The other seniors began murmuring in excitement.
         Well, Edna didn't take well to that idea. How were they to keep up with her? This was a serious trip for her, and she couldn't be held back by a bunch of old stale farts!
         Things went downhill from there. These farts didn't take well to insults. Edna headed out the door in a huff and hopped onto her trusty bicycle. It had started to rain, and she felt that it might help her cool down. Boy was she heated from almost having her trip hi-jacked. Thunder grumbled in unison with her mood as she pedaled across the complex.
         Suddenly a searing streak of lightening stabbed down from the sky to Edna, blasting her right off her bike and onto the hard concrete of the sidewalk.
         Sometime in the middle of the night, maintenance found Edna's body, her head cracked like an egg.
         The phone lines were on fire bright and early the next morning. It was almost as exciting as the time old Henry Johnson had stolen the riding mower and terrorized the entire community, trying to run down anyone in sight. He had finally lost that loose screw. Needless to say, old Henry was no longer a resident of Valleyview.
         Most everyone was shocked about Edna. She had been healty as a horse, after all. And a lot of good that had done. They still arranged a trip to the Grand Canyon, and other than that, continued on with their nice, relaxed lives.