Chapter 8

8.

         There’s a ghost in our house.
         So Elini told her mother. Told her every day, as often as she could. Because if she said it enough, her mother might start to believe her. Her teachers always told her, repetition was the key to learning.
         No, really there’s a ghost. She’s right behind you.
         “Of course she is, honey,” her mother would say, smiling indulgently down on her as she washed clothing, or as she was fixing dinner, or anywhere in the house. “Where else would she be?”
         And the ghost would smile too, and pat her mother on the shoulder and her mother would nod, like she had done something good and then the ghost would walk away, looking very pleased with herself. Elini would watch her, waiting to see if she would pass through a wall or furniture or a person. Or float. Or turn invisible. Or scare people.
         But the ghost didn’t do any of that. It was sort of disappointing. After all the nights of scary stories her brother would tell her in the dark, when there was nothing to see other than voices, when every flicker of half-glimpsed light could be a moon or walking spirits, Elini had expected more from a ghost. The ghosts in the stories always had messages for the living or some uncompleted task that needed to get done, or it simply was just feeling mischievous.
         Why don’t you see her? She’s right there.
         “But I do, dear,” her mother would say in a voice that suggested the absolute opposite, as she waved to the ghost as it made its way through their living room, smiling as if it were an old friend, speaking as if it didn’t exist. “I don’t know why you seem to think that I don’t.”
         Elini couldn’t remember when the ghost first appeared. Part of her wanted to think that it had always been there, that it had come with their home. Her father’s parents had lived here before they did, but her grandparents had died before she was born. Sometimes she thought the ghost was her grandmother, checking on the family. But her mother used to talk about how Daddy had looked like his mother and how Elini had some of her same features. She used to say that Elini looked so much like Daddy’s family that if she hadn’t given birth to Elini herself, she would have wondered whose child she really was. The ghost looked nothing like them. Her skin was darker, like she’d been out in the sun for so long that she had begun to cook. Her nose was small and pointed, while Elini’s was broader and flatter, and her hair was dark, nearly black, while everyone in Elini’s family had at least blonde hair, in her father’s case almost white.
         Then who is she?
         “Probably just someone looking for a home,” her mother said one night at dinner, passing the plate of vegetables to the ghost with a smile. The ghost scooped a handful onto her plate before passing it on. “Even ghosts need somewhere to stay, right?”
         Elini thought she saw the logic in that, but something about it just didn’t make sense. She never said anything to her friends, but when she was visiting their houses she kept an eye out for anyone strange. No one else seemed to have any ghosts. Maybe theirs stayed out of the way or visitors couldn’t see them. That made a little more sense but still didn’t explain everything? Why did the ghosts act like ghosts?
         It was her mother who told her it was a ghost. Before that Elini had just thought it was someone else living in their house, like the travelers they sometimes took in for a few days. But, no, her mother said, it must be a ghost. She was starting to wonder if “ghost” was just another word for people who refused to leave.
         But why is she here? With us? Why do we need a ghost?
         “No one needs a ghost,” her mother said with a laugh over her knitting. Next to her, the ghost nodded wisely in agreement. “If we have one then . . . we just do. There’s no special reason for it.” At that point, her mother handed the knitted sock to the ghost, who looked at it and slipped it into a pocket before standing up gracefully and walking away. Elini stared at the ghost, trying to see through her, but it was no use.
         The ghost didn’t hang around all the time. Sometimes she would disappear for days and Elini wouldn’t see her. Her parents wouldn’t even leave the extra seat out like they normally did when the ghost joined them for dinner. And when Elini would point that out, both her parents would give her a curious look before putting the extra chair back. It would sit empty all night and everyone pretended it wasn’t there. One night her father had gotten mad when Elini asked and said that putting the chair there had been her idea. Those times Elini would wonder if the ghost had gone for good, if she had done whatever she had come back to do and now could go to her final rest, or wherever it was that ghosts went when they actually decided to stay dead.
         But the ghost always came back. Inevitably. It was depressingly predictable. Elini started to think that if the ghost had an uncompleted task, she wasn’t in all that big of a hurry to go about it. Perhaps that was why she had died with it unfinished, if she was this slow.
         How long is she going to stay with us? Can’t we ask her to leave?
         “Oh, I don’t think so, dear,” said her mother, for once when the ghost wasn’t around. “Why would we, she’s been a perfectly lovely houseguest. Hardly even a bother. Never a peep out of her. You couldn’t ask for better, could you, Elini?”
         Elini had to admit that her mother did have a point.
         “Besides,” her mother added, almost as an afterthought “how do you talk to a ghost?”
         One night Elini decided to follow the ghost around the house, to see if she could figure out where the ghost went to when she wasn’t in the house. Or at least see her walk through a wall, or haunt someone or do something ghost-like, for a change.
         It was utterly boring, to be honest. The ghost spent most of the night at their kitchen table scribbling on some pieces of paper, occasionally taking out a small book and appearing to copy words from it. The ghost often looked very intense when she worked, her eyes focused exclusively on the papers, her face tense as she would often pause and tap the pencil against her forehead before furiously scratching out a sentence and scrawling something else down, all in great bursts of motion that often served to wake Elini up as she sat at the table across from the ghost and stared at her, almost willing her to disappear.
         But the ghost never vanished. She merely stood up calmly, folded the papers neatly in half and tucked them into her pocket. Then, equally unhurried, she proceeded to head upstairs, stepping around her brother, who was reading an old book on the floor. As Elini passed he tried to trip her, like he always did, but he ignored the ghost completely.
         When the ghost reached the steps she moved faster, forcing Elini to scramble up the stairs two at a time to keep up. The ghost’s boots barely made a sound on the wooden floor, though with the dim lighting upstairs, all long shadows in between splashes of brightness, the ghost looked even spookier than ever. Without pause she moved down the hallway, passing Elini’s parents’ room, her brother’s room and Elini’s own room, not even casting the doors a second’s glance.
         At the end of the hall was a room that Elini didn’t remember anyone using. Without hesitation the ghost stepped into it and closed the door behind her. The click seemed abnormally loud in the vacant hallway. Elini skidded to a halt when she saw the door shut, sliding down the floor for about a foot and then regaining her feet shortly afterwards. Elini stared at the door, expecting the ghost to come out right away. She didn’t.
         Carefully Elini crept up to the door. Placing her ear against it, she listened for any sounds. Maybe it was a ghost party going on inside. If she was a ghost that’s what she would do. After all, ghosts didn’t need to sleep, right? So it was something to do with all that extra time.
         But if it was a party, it was a boring one.
         There was no sound.
         Hm, Elini thought. Glancing down the hallway to see if anyone was watching, she gingerly placed her hand on the doorknob to test it.
         screaming for blood your blood tear off your head and oh bloody bits everywhere drowning in choking in the rivers oh it’s all drowning in your nose so much can’t breathe can’t find the light where have the entrails gone entwined around your gaping torn neck-
         Elini gave a small shriek and leapt away from the doorknob as if it had bit her. On her hands and knees she scrambled away from the door, sliding and slipping on the floor, not stopping until she nearly hit the opposite wall.
         There, she sat with her back pressed against the wall, trying to calm her rapid breathing, trying to make sense of what had just happened. The door was still closed but now its blank face was somehow mocking, its lack of features somehow more frightening than the ugliest face imaginable.
         For a moment she considered going back and trying it again. Maybe if she was faster . . .
         oh its soaking into everything the blood you’ll never get it out of your hair your teeth your eyes all over-
         Elini went back down the stairs.
         Why does the ghost use the empty room?
         “Empty room?” her mother asked, as she finished cleaning the dishes, handing them over to Elini to dry. “Oh honey, what have I said about being nice to your brother? Just because he’s not as spoiled as you are . . .”
         Her mother hadn’t known what she was talking about. When she tried to explain about the extra room, her mother said to stop being silly, they had barely enough space as it was. Certainly they weren’t so rich as to let an entire room go to waste. If she was going to make up stories, then go talk to Daddy. He had more time for that nonsense.
         That night the ghost hadn’t come back, nor did she reappear in the morning. Elini had known she would be back, and so decided to watch the door. She took her toys up to the hallway and played there, always keeping one eye on the door. Sometimes she thought she heard voices and she wondered if those were ghosts, too. Maybe when ghosts were ghosts for too long they stopped having bodies and all that was left was a voice. But she had never heard her ghost talk.
         Her mother of course would call her down for lunch and later dinner but Elini would just eat as quickly as she could and run back upstairs, hoping that she wouldn’t pass the ghost along the way. Each time the silent door greeted her. Each time she went back to playing, hearing murmurs in every creak, snatches of phrase in every pulse of air. But no ghost. As it got darker outside, Elini started to wonder if the ghost had somehow crept past her. After all, just because it didn’t walk through walls, that didn’t mean that it couldn’t.
         Then, just as she was thinking about getting ready to go to bed, she heard a whining sort of groaning behind her. Spinning around on the floor, Elini had turned just in time to see the door opening.
         From the darkness behind the doorway the ghost walked out, looking the same as ever. She looked down at Elini and smiled pleasantly. Why are you here? Elini wanted to ask. Why does no one see you but me? Are you ever going to leave? But the words stayed stagnant in her throat and all she could do was watch as the ghost casually sauntered past her, down the hall and back down the stairs. Or maybe she did say them and the ghost simply ignored her. It had been so long ago.
         But after the ghost had gone, Elini had slowly moved over to the still open door. Being careful not to touch the door, Elini peeked into the room. Maybe there was ghost furniture inside, all hazy and translucent. As she stepped in, it occurred to her that maybe only ghosts could walk on the floor and she might just fall through. Of course by the time she thought of that, it was too late.
         It didn’t matter. Elini didn’t see anything at first but once her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, all she saw was an empty room. Standing up, she cautiously walked to the center of the room, wondering if everything was being hidden from her. There weren’t even any windows. The room smelled funny as well, of fresh sawdust and old dirt, like a mold left in one place for so long that it had turned into something else entirely. Yet the walls and floors were spotless. It was merely a perfectly square, perfectly empty, perfectly boring room.
         Elini didn’t remember how long ago that was. Maybe a month or so. Maybe last week. It was nighttime now and she hadn’t seen the ghost all day and that’s what made her think of the time in the room. But it wasn’t even that exciting a memory. Since then, she had seen the ghost less and less, though sometimes Elini thought she could sense the ghost, like there was an extra person around. Someone else taking all the air away.
         Tonight she wasn’t really thinking of the ghost, honestly. In school they had made everyone run around all day, the teachers said the kids were getting fat and lazy and needed to be whipped into shape. Elini didn’t think she was fat at all, but the teachers disagreed. Her mother didn’t even have to tell her it was time for bed, Elini was more than ready. She didn’t even want to imagine what tomorrow was going to be like.
         As she went toward her room Elini began to get the feeling that someone else was around again. It was like how when just before a rain if her parents left the windows open how the air got thick and heavy and it got hard to breathe. That’s how it felt right now. Dense. Elini figured she was just tired. Oh well. She’d be in bed soon and then it would be morning. And she’d start all over again. Elini tried not to think about that part. Maybe she could convince her mother she was sick and not have to go.
         But when Elini walked into her room she realized that the feeling she’d be having wasn’t too far off. There was someone in her room.
         On her bed.
         It was a man. He was lying on his back, dressed in strange black clothing. In some places it was torn and he was covered in dirt, like he had fallen down a hill. His eyes were closed, but there was dried blood on his face. For a second she thought he was dead but then she noticed his chest moving up and down irregularly and a rattling noise coming from his mouth. His lips were moving and his face was scrunched up, almost in pain, as if something was being done to him from the inside. Every so often his hands twitched, sometimes curling into fists, but there was no one to strike.
         The room suddenly got heavier yet again.
         Elini spun around to see the ghost standing by her window. She was smiling but it was more a slit carved into her face. Elini very much wanted her mother here at this moment. What was going on here? Why was this man on her bed? Was he a friend of the ghost’s? If so, she had her own room to put people in. There was no need to take her bed.
         All of a sudden Elini felt very angry. This wasn’t fair. Haunting them and eating their food and using their house was one thing but this was going too far.
         “What do you think you’re doing?” she asked petulantly, taking a step toward the ghost. “What is he doing in my room? You shouldn’t be here! Get him out! You hear me, go!”
         Once someone had told her if you spoke very firmly to ghosts, they had no choice but to do what you said. And Elini knew if she had spoken to her mother the way she had just talked, she would have gotten swatted.
         It had no effect on the ghost. In fact what was left of her smile went away.
         Elini suddenly very much wanted her mother here. She turned to run from the room, to get her mother, to drag her in here and show her that even if she didn’t see the ghost, she had to see this man, she had to!
         She took two steps before the door slammed in her face. Nobody had touched it. Elini stopped in her tracks, thinking of how cold the room seemed and even with all the people here how very alone she felt.
         With cruel force, hands she couldn’t see spun her around and smashed her up against the door. The wood was hard against her back and the blow shoved all of the air from her body. Her feet weren’t touching the floor anymore. “Ah . . .” she gasped, trying to move her arms and finding that she couldn’t. Her head hurt and it seemed too bright in the room. Nearby the man cried out in his sleep.
         The ghost came closer, so that Elini could very clearly see her face. It was the same as always, but it was totally changed. She didn’t look dead anymore. She never had. I wish you were really dead, Elini thought viciously. I wish you had never come here.
         Something cracked her across the face, causing her cheek to hit the door. Her teeth rattled in her head and the coppery taste of blood filled her mouth. What happened? The ghost merely stared at her. Elini felt tears spring to her eyes. I won’t cry. Only babies cry.
         “Do I have your complete attention now?” asked the ghost. Elini didn’t know she could talk. She had a strange accent and for a second Elini didn’t know what she had said. But when she started to ask the ghost to repeat it something her in the face again, on the opposite side. The world exploded into stars and half of her face went numb, a painful sort of tingling that made squeezed the tears from her eyes. What was going on? Where was her mother?
         “Do I?” the ghost asked again, and Elini found her head lifted up, so the back cracked against the door, bringing the world further out of focus. Elini tasted more than felt the tears running down her cheeks. She swore there was blood coming from her mouth. Maybe she had bit her lip. She didn’t know. Where’s Mom? she pleaded inwardly, trembling.
         “Y-yes,” Elini sobbed, realizing finally the ghost wanted an answer to the question. “Yes I’m listening . . . what do you want . . . leave me alone, please, I won’t-“
         ”I’ll tell you what you won’t do,” the ghost snapped and Elini felt herself pushing harder against the door. Her chest was hurting and the tears were stinging her eyes, causing her to blink rapidly. “Tonight you won’t be sleeping in your bed. Someone else needs it. You can sleep on the floor for all I care, but not there. You understand?”
         Elini didn’t, but she nodded anyway. The ghost sounded so angry, but Elini didn’t know what she had done to it. Wasn’t being dead supposed to make you happy, because you had nothing to worry about anymore. Distantly Elini wondered exactly what the benefit was. There didn’t seem to be any.
         “There isn’t,” the ghost said, even though Elini hadn’t said anything. Leaning in closer she said again, “I better not find you in there.” Something was squeezing her face from both sides, causing her to grimace but the pain didn’t relent. Please, make it stop. “This hurts, right? And you don’t want more of it, right? So you understand, okay?”
         Elini didn’t know which question to answer so she just nodded as much as her range of motion would allow. The ghost peered at her again and Elini got the headache again, as if mice were trying to burrow into her brain.
         Then the invisible hands released her and she slid all the way to the floor. Her legs didn’t have the strength to catch her weight and so she hit the floor hard, wrenching her knee and then tumbling forward to land on her face. Before she even had time to get her bearings, something grabbed her and dragged her closer to the center of the room. She tumbled and rolled, finally just curling up into a ball, like she had seen bugs too when they were hurt. Just to get away. Please. Leave me alone. Please.
         The ghost said nothing else. In another place and to another person she heard the door open and then footsteps, assured and fading. Elini brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She was still crying quietly. Her face felt funny, like her mouth wouldn’t close right. Her nose was running.
         More footsteps were heard, this time getting closer. Elini tensed, not sure what to do. Leave me alone! she wanted to scream, but didn’t dare. Even her thoughts didn’t seem safe.
         “Elini, is everything okay?” came the voice of her mother. It didn’t sound real. Where were you? “I thought I heard a noise. Did you fall out of bed?”
         She wanted to tell her mother everything, but then remembered how her mother never seemed to notice the ghost. She had to see the man in the bed but hadn’t mentioned that either. They would think she was crazy. And then the ghost would come back and hit her again for saying anything. Elini had never felt so miserable. She wanted to die. This couldn’t be happening.
         “Elini?” her mother asked again. “You still awake?”
         There was nothing to say. All she could say was, “I . . . I’m all right, Mommy. It’s just . . .” she swallowed again, sniffling, thinking of how far away the floor had seemed. “I’m fine. I’m all right.”
         “Oh, okay, dear.” The footsteps were already retreating. “Sleep tight, honey.” Then it was gone.
         On the bed, the man coughed, and then gave a strangled yell, oddly muffled.
         He must be scared, Elini thought, feeling strangely detached. And the floor wasn’t so bad, really.
         “It’s going to be okay,” she told the man, her voice a soft whisper. She had to reassure him, of course. “Really, you’ll see . . .” and she thought she heard the woman’s harsh speech in the back of her head. Do you understand? Elini hugged her knees tighter, closing her eyes until colors swam across the absence of her vision. “It’s going to be fine . . .” and her voice was so thick her own words didn’t make sense. Why couldn’t she stop shaking? “Don’t be afraid . . . you’ll see . . . don’t cry, okay . . . everything . . . everything is going to be . . . all right . . .”