A Modern Vampire

A Modern Vampire


1 Int. Study
You see a dimly lit study. Filled with volumes of books stacked neatly in several dusty bookcases. In the center of the room sits a figure encased in shadows. All we can see of him is his back. He has long black hair down to his shoulders, dark clothing resembling an expensive suit. He is sitting in front of a desk with a laptop in front of him. There is a large window that leads out to the balcony in front of him. An excellent view of the large city at night is to be seen. Every few minutes, he reaches for his smoldering cigarette in an ashtray beside his right hand. He has very slender but strong hands. Very pale in color but with long sharp nails.

He sighs heavily and then logins into his laptop. And you hear the words "You've got Mail!", from the computer.

A email is shown on the laptop and he reads it and begins to chuckle lightly. He then clicks on the compose letter button and begins typing an email back to the sender.

This is what the email reads:

Dear friend,
My life as a vampire has been…shall we say…interesting. I have lived hundreds of years on this earth or shall I say…died. Just some simple vampiric humor. As I have been around for a long time, it is only customary for one to develop a sense of humor even if you’re dead. When one looses one talent such as breathing other skills arise.

(He laughs heartedly to himself as he takes a puff from his cigarette.)

My existence has been long yet simple but not so simple. Eternal life is very complicated for a vampire. Existing is a lot easier in this day and age than it was hundreds of years ago. I mean Witch hunts are things of the past. Vampires do not have to worry about Wolfbane or Holy water or Garlic so much anymore. I always thought that humans have completely screwed up the view on vampires.

(Rolls his eyes as he thinks about the ignorance of some people.)

We are always depicted as blood-sucking night stalkers who have no feelings and remorse. That is completely not true. I have remorse. And the worst thing that I carry is Guilt. I get really tickled by people who ask me all kinds of questions: Do I like crucifixes? Is there a Count Dracula? How can you kill a vampire? Etcetera…etcetera…etcetera. You know it really sickens me to know that humans have started basing their beliefs off of movies. I mean come on?! And I thought I was crazy for going to Lucretia Borgia’s wine and anthrax party. It was pretty good. Lots of cheese and wine to go around…uuhhemm..sorry lost my train of thought.

(shakes his head and then continues to write)

What was I talking about? Oh, yes, movies. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. It is wonderful to see a sunrise that I cannot see with my own eyes. But people have started believing in these movies. I told them that most things heard about Vampires are false. There is no Count Dracula or werewolves in Transylvania…I would know…I’ve looked.

(Walks around doing his impression of Dracula, by covering the lower half of his face)

I happen to be quite fond of crucifixes and I am afraid to say that I do go to church on Sundays. I guess I am trying to make up for the last hundreds of years of sins.

(Grins evilly as he takes another puff of his cigarette)

Coffins, I am afraid are not really a necessity but it helps. It lid can protect you from sunlight. Of course very heavy dark drapes work to, but I don’t recommend it. A buddy of mine was sleeping in his dark draped room and the maid came in and opened the windows. It was not a pretty sight.

(Shivers coldly at the thought of dying that way)

Let me see what are the other myths…ummm…stake through the heart, doesn’t work. You most likely will not be able to get close enough to even get a try. Unlike the movie Dracula were he just laid there while getting a stake through his heart, we are pretty light sleepers. Me, I tend to snore a little and drool on my pillow…but hey, that’s me.

(Blushes as he types on)

Well, let me see, uhhh…cutting off the head of vampires…ouch…it works for killing a vampire. But it is a really terrible way to kill a vampire. Another buddy of mine had his head cut off and now some guy named Petey Bob has his skull for a dashboard ornament. Scary image, huh? Wouldn’t want to see that happen to anyone.

(Rubs his head cautiously at this)

What else do you want to know? Sex?! I know what’s on your mind.

(Gives you a playful wink)

Yeah, vampires can have sex. Nothing like getting stiffed with the stiffs.

(Begins to laugh Hysterically at his small joke)

Man, (wipes tears from eyes) I kill myself.

Well, look I’ve got to go. Vampires to meet, people to feed upon. Look, if you want to talk later you know my email address. Be careful if you go out tonight. Eat you later.

Sincerely, A modern Vampire

(Gives a small sinister laugh as he finishes typing and clicks send)

He puts his nub of a cigarette out and clicks something else on his computer. You hear the words," Good-Bye", from his computer. You see him push away from his desk and stretches in front of it. He grabs his coat from the back of his chair and grabs his cigarettes. He stuffs the cigarette in his coat pocket and then puts on his black trench coat. He grabs his keys from the desk and turns around for the first time. He is very handsome in the face and body. He is tall, broad-shouldered, and physically fit. His skin is the color of pale milk, his hair is the color of a raven, his lips are the color of a red apple, and his eyes are the color of a pale blue sky on a clear day. He smiles handsomely at you and lights a cigarette with a silver Zippo. His fingers are covered in silver rings with designs of skulls, snakes, and etc. He takes a long puff and takes the cigarette from his lips with a devilish smile," And I will you see YOU later." He gives you a sly wink and walks to his apartment door and leaves.

Fin