HIGH ENGLISH OR LOW ENGLISH?

My wife had been a legal secretary for about two years when her boss- due to the rapid inflow of new clients- decided to hire another secretary. It was a small office located in a remote village in Pennsylvania. His wishes were soon met and along came Brenda, as cute and sweet as anyone could imagine...intelligent too. There was only one problem... no one could understand a word she said. She came from deep in South Carolina and had the accent to go with it. After work, one very rainy day, she came up to our house and knocked on the door. My wife answered and was surprised to see Brenda standing there soaked to the gills. She invited her in, but Brenda's only reply was, "I wanna baro a powwowsah." After several attempts to find out what she wanted, my wife decided she must be building something and went to the garage and came back with a power saw. By that time Brenda had taken on more water...and frustration too. Upon seeing the power saw, Brenda snapped and said-in perfect American English- "What in the hell is wrong with you people? It's raining. I want a parasol.