1 mad week

1 strange week.

I had a conversation last night, seriously I did, and strangely (for me) it was with actual other people.

Not that all of my discussions involve just me, but lately a fair chunk have and the worst thing is I've lost almost every debate. I'm rubbish at arguing a point. I am, really ... Oh, ok I'm not.

Anyway, the point of this chat was how people are so selfish. Not just in big ways, oh no, in practically every way. They park across people's drives, stand for a random conversation in a crowded shop doorway, or bring their children out in public when even Super Nanny would have suggested immediate house arrest.

The worst thing about this was, as we griped about the rapid decline in the moral standard of our fellow people, I realised that this was like accusing other people of being me and saying that I wasn't. I might as well walk up to someone and just shout at them "you're more like I am than I am you are!" What a hypocrite.

And with that sudden enlightening shake I recalled every last little thing I'd done that day where my only and immediate concern was how it would effect me. What a complete ... well you know. And so I made a decision, a great, momentus, gigantic, week-long, life-changing decision. That I shall, for the next seven days, in all that I do, consider the ways my actions influence others.

I shall no longer park inappropriately because it's raining or is a little chilly. I shall not drain a small resevoir when I brush my teeth. I SHALL give up my seat for an elderly person, pregnant lady or someone who looks a little more tired than I. (This excludes when I'm driving as offering my car to random strangers is asking for trouble).

In short I will be more considerate until this time next week. If it works out I might expand it further but somehow I doubt it, after all I'm just a person and tomorrow it's going to rain and stuff.

So, here I go. The first thing I think I'll do is make my friends a coffee. The REAL ones, not the invisible ones, that would be stupid. They only drink tea.

2 days later....

If I'd known that this rather strange and slightly worrying quest of mine was going to be this difficult, I have to confess, I'm not sure I would have taken it on.

Scrap that, there would've been more chance of me purposely cultivating an ingrowing toe-nail and taking up ballet dancing.

That would have been: a) less work b) slightly less painful and c) now I've thought about it, kinda cool.

But now I've started I cannot back down, I'm doomed, DOOMED I tells ya, for another five days.

It took all of five minutes for me to break my new life-affirming rules. Actually I exaggerate - it was more like three minutes.

See, I'm a modern day Jack The Ripper, I am all that is negative and dark with the world. Yes folks, I am a smoker. I learned very quickly that this makes me the second most inconsiderate man on earth (I've been told that the first has no name and only comes out when the moon is half-full and blood-red or something like that).

And it was due to this affliction that I managed to break my rules so quickly. It's automatic you see. Light, smoke, flick. And I did, I confess. I was far and away before the butt hit the ground. And then the guilt, an almost automatic response to my action. It had begun. No more dropping of dog ends.

It's harder than you think. So hard. This will explain why, when I bumped into a man asking for money (who related that he was saving to spend the night in a hostel because he was homeless and was stabbed in the head last week by a guitar), I handed over my hard earned £1.70 and considered my error paid for and my Karma realigned.

Joy of joys. Back on track. And so, for my next trick, when I returned home I opened my post and found a letter from my doctor, explaining that they are short on space and wish for the council to seriously consider relocating them.

All I had to do was sign a form, put it in an envelope (freepost) and then send it. Now ordinarily this would be an issue, so much of one in fact that in less than 20 seconds it would normally be forgotten. But not this time, oh no.

Not only DID I sign it, I also walked (therefore reducing pollution) to the postbox and away it went. How wonderful am I?

In one day I've turned my conciousness to air pollution, stopped adding to the mountanous pile of dog ends on our country's streets, given money to a man with a musical instument related injury (who assured me that he wouldn't buy drugs or drink) and helped in the relocation and development of a new medical establishment which will benefit the whole community.

The problem is, with every good deed I do I seem to break a zillion others, and now I'm looking I'm noticing and that means they have to stop. It's not even two full days yet and I'm exhausted.

I think I'll hide in my house tonight. Surely it's safe there?

7 days later....

And so it's over. I am no longer bound by the rules I set myself a week ago, and I can return to normality.

Once again I can walk the streets without concern, respect or compassion for those around me. I can flick dog ends, I can park in the bus stop, I can live my life at my own convienience and forget the rest.

Oh joy of joys, I'm free.

Only I'm not. Somehow my pointless little game has backfired. First I have learned something about myself. I find it really, REALLY hard to think about others. It was scary to realise how concentrated I had to be to even realise how I was affecting others. In the sudden rush of life it was impossible to be aware of it at all times.

I'm a horrible, terrible, evil person, I may as well throw kittens in a pond or steal the wings from dancing faries as they sing lullabies to newborn babies. I am the Devil himself! (Because I capitalized the word Devil does not mean that I am a fan of the almighty dark lord or anything.) So what does this say about me? Is this just me or is it us? (Like how I shift blame?) It seems that we (by we I mean I, but I is a lonely word and I thought I'd drag the whole world down with me) are not made to be considerate.

Even when we try, either by make-up or by the style of our lives, we fail. Okay, I fail, ME.

It's not society that tarnishes me a pain in the thingy, it's ME, ME, ME.

So, to what conclusion? I have no idea, other than despite my faliure to survive in the world for a mere seven days as an unselfish (if that's even a word) member of society, I have actually changed a little.

I've not dropped a dog end yet and surely that's a deep and enlightened lesson to have learned. That has to be better for us all. Well, either way, that's my defence so there.

(Sorry about all the brackets, I've only just worked out how to use them, and now I can't stop.)