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Rated: E · Poetry · Emotional · #1009222
My anxiety, and the best way to describe living with it
You're dying on the inside
But to them you seem the same
You want to leave your body
For a freedom you can't tame
You don't know why you'll die tomorrow
You simply know you will
And if you drive too far, too fast
It's someone else you'll kill
Upon the morning arise the new
yet your fear remains the same
and you know for a fact you will be punished
should anyone call your name
You tremble and cry and hide your face
From the ones that look at you
And since you were small, you didn't know why
Those eyes all followed you
Sometimes you give in to it
And cannot leave the room
Back and forth you shall pace
Belieivng you are doomed
Your mind is so preoccupied
You cannot focus on the now
You want to brush your teeth
But can't remember how
There's a place of sanity
It's just beyond your reach
You've tried to reach it but somehow find
You fear your truth is breached
You know this fear is a fear of something
But there is nothing here to fear
And you know it is illogical
But they still whisper in your ear
You know you are successful
You know you've done nothing wrong
You're sure that others love you
But what if you are wrong?
What if you did something
You forgot along the way?
And what if now, because of that
Your punishment awaits?
You realize life will go on
No matter what you do
And that this life will be alright
But this knowledge does not help you
It doesn't help to know
That your car won't explode
If your fear has no rhyme or reason
And you are in fear mode
So maybe there's an answer
and Maybe there's a cure
Maybe there's a reason
That your heart is so unsure
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