My First Loss

Too much fights
Struggle and pain
Sometimes I thought
I'd go insane

I couldn't stand you
with me sometimes
Thats what I thought
But I was wrong,right?

They say you never know
how much someone means
to you and your life
and how important they maybe

Until they're gone
and never coming back
and that is when
your feelings attack

The feelings of hurt
guiilt and anger
the ones that burn
that seem to last forever

They come, they haunt
they put me in depression
All of a sudden I feel
Total oppression

That's too much to bear
too much for my mind
that begins to tear
through my heart that cries

Cries for you
I want you back
I didnt want you to go
Because Now I lack

My brother my only
One I had
I feel so lonely
cold and sad

Who will watch
movies with me?
Who will play
Playstation games constantly?

Who will tell mommy
That I'm wrong?
Who will copy
the way I talk?

I go to your room
and start to cry
then I ask
myself, why?

Why wasn't I
a perfect sister?
Why couldn't I try
to be even better?

I know I was bad
many many times
and it haunts my head
and thoughts at night

I know you have
a better place there
where you're happy and can
be free of a life unfair

But I still do seek
your forgiveness
and I pray that we meet
where we're promised forever happiness

I love you Marwan
Forgive me please
I know this is what God wants
And I'll never disagree...........