Reviews Turn Around

Man, they drive me totally insane !!

I know this is bound to be just another rant. But, look, they are really playing with my brain, so I guess I have to do something. Every time I work out my writer’s block, every time I figure out how to juggle time so that I can sit in front of the computer and just write, every single time a nasty and/or anonymous review comes and scratches it all!

Do they do it on purpose? Are they just nasty MFs who are just sitting around waiting for people to hurt? Are they friends who do not dare to voice their opinion? Are they simply competition-spirited people who cannot stand up to competition?

What do you think?

God : What do you want?
Gig : Please let me in. I have been good, I have done good!
God : My dear friend! Do you know how many millions of times I have heard this?
Gig : Well, you are God after all, you should know… better than me even!
God : Yes, I do, this is why I asked what you wanted.
Gig : But I want to get in! Don’t you have my name on your list?
God : Hmmm, let me see… John Howard… No… Eduardo Lo Pinto… Hmmm, that’s it for today, sorry!
Gig : I see another name here, what does it say?
God : Well, that’s the wild card… “Anonymous.”
Gig : I can have that, I am Anonymous, I used to write reviews and signed them “Anonymous.”
God : Sorry, so sorry! I did not know! Oh! I am deeply sorry! I already gave the wild card to someone else!
Gig : You bastard! You asshole!
God : Hey! How do you dare? No one speaks to God this way!
Gig : I’ll speak to you the way I please! I am Anonymous! Watch out God, or you’ll get your one-star rating soon enough!
God : I see you are used to people not standing up to you, Anonymous.

A noise in the background… Lucifer’s horns appear in the distance.

Lucifer : Anyone for me today, Goddie?
God : Sorry, Luci, all went in today.
Lucifer : What about this one?
God : I doubt if he can even be a catch for you, not much to give.
Lucifer : I’d take anyone at this stage, here, send him through

Lucifer grabs Anonymous with a long hook. God opens his arms with empathy but it is too late. Anonymous sinks into the ground.

Gig : Not me, there has to be a mistake, check your list, please, Sir… Lucifer!
Lucifer : Don’t call me by my name or I’ll set you ablaze right now, you damn fool! In hell, everyone is Anonymous, remember that! By the way, what was your name on Earth?

On WDC, one gets just about every kind of reviews. And this is absolutely great. I love reviews; they help me write better, they help me think, they help me feel good and write more.
There again, occasionally, I get THE crappy one. (and please, spare me the better crappy one than none at all speech, I totally disagree!); That one does get me down for a couple of days, until another review comes by and helps me see the light… See, I am so lame!

Just in case you are wondering “ Am I the only one who gets this type of stuff?”, here is the “ Don’t worry, no, you’re not alone” answer.

Live examples: I might as well use them to get some exposure, what do you think? --- Any resemblance with people you have met on WDC would not be a pure hazard. (Excerpts of reviews are copied/pasted without change; I did not put in the spelling mistakes just to make them look bad, promise!)

For my (in progress) biography "Understanding a Woman in the Morning" , I got very good reviews, helpful and all, and these ones:

Aslo from Request Reviews, along with the question, "Is it funny?"
Author Isa-Danton brings an item called MEMORIES. A glaring rendition of "first kisses" with topic leads. ETC.
A narrator chronicles her life. Boyfriends range in name from Paddy to Pascal. Her ages jump from seventeen to nineteen.
Readable, yes. Funny, no.
Surely worth a look see.
Cordially, T***
Startling enough, I have no real suggestions to improve the piece.
Only this, as I realize that reviewed authors here often like a suggestion or two for further perusal for their works.
Of this one, please don't allow that I am off the mark, or leaving the beaten path of the story line.

Do you get it? T*** is giving me a break down on what I wrote… Waou! Did you think this is something you would write in a review? Now, come on, you can’t possibly argue that this review is helpful. The best part is that T*** gives me a 3-star rating… I certainly would give a low rate to her reviewing techniques, BUT I could suggest some ways to improve them.
T****! Interested?

That was... interesting. A rather detailed account of your mis-adventures with your friends, but I have to say, you concentrate on sex slightly too much I feel. Surely the timeline of the biggest memories of your life should be slightly more varied at the least. But if that is really all you can remember who am I to say otherwise. Anyway cutting a long story short, interesting piece but you need to work on your grammar, punctuation ect and some of your writing is slightly disjointed.
Yours sincerely,
XYZ

I got a 2.5-star rating with this one. “Grammar”, “punctuation”, “disjointed”… ok, ok, give me more, show me! Don’t just tell me! I am a good WDC citizen, so I asked XYZ… said "I am French, blah blah." His answer was frustrated, angry, racist, and useless.

For a flash fiction I wrote for a contest "Shopping" , among the great stuff, this was hiding:

You're on the right track, but there are many grammatical and spelling errors. If you're a native english speaker, these should not be present. Please proof-read your work before posting.
I can understand the emotional direction of your work, but the syntax needs polish.
Keep trying! We can all only get better with practice.

I got a 1-star rating with this one. I don’t mind what he says, I just don’t like the tone. When I visited his port, in search of an inspiring and properly-syntaxed piece, I found nothing, zilch, an empty port.

I guess I don't really know what to say. I thought it was boring. Plus you make your girl charachter seem so weak, like she just takes what her MAN will give. I would have been like "f*** you jack, im here to buy facial products and your going to deal with it like it or not." But im all about power. I always say this though, this is writing. Its not about me its about you, if you feel it in your heart say it. Just keep saying it. I try to think for hours and days about what im writing and how I want what im saying to be crafted. All thats important about words is that they flow. Everything else is up to taste. You either like it or not. Just keep on flowing.

Don’t you just love it? He is “all about power” and tells me my girl “character” is weak… I guess he probably lives with her!
I just don't know how to keep flowing with this type of reviews.

For my entry "Sammy's had a Dream"  to the Happy Birthday WDC "Invalid Item"  contest, here is what I received among some encouragements.

This seems to be a good story, but without reading it again, I am not certain I understand it. I think the use of a dream rather trivializes what was originally a good story. I was very interested in what was happening to this family and I was disappointed to see it was only a dream. I do not understand how this person Samual all of a sudden became an adult. Your story has changed from a story about a family to a story about another family with an adult son named Samuel. I don't get it. I think the beginning needs some development. What is Samual's relationship with Janet, and what is his relationship to the children. Why was he looking after the children, and why wasn't Janet living with him. In short, I think you have to work out the kinks. Once you do so, I would like to read it again.

You would not guess who wrote that. Let me explain to you that these nice words come from a writer whom I defended with all my heart against a reviewer who wrote horrible things to her like Is this writing? kind of stuff. I reviewed her item and shared with her half the GPs I received after giving her the review. I am not saying that she should repay me in any way, but at least, at least, be respectful enough to not rename my character (not just once but twice!) and to not blame me because she does not get it.

I'm not sure how this character really matches up with the character sketch given by scuabgirl, except that Sammy is afraid. The idea of him being somewhat psychic is an interesting one, but you don't develop it, or foreshadow it. I think the idea you have created could be excellent, but you spend a lot of time, energy, and words getting to the meat of the story. You have a few spelling errors, but overall your grammar, punctuation, and spelling are quite good.

3.5-star rating with both reviews, not all that bad, because I care. This second review is anonymous. Why? Is the guy a judge? A competitor? I assume it is a man, the tone, the “power” . The item is OT, but the idea is good, G+P+S quite good but earlier on I got spelling mistakes… Suggestions? Zilch!
In case you find these two are constructive critics, I would just like to add: reviews that makes you question your work without putting you on tracks are useless. If you have to do all the work, if you are able to do it alone, then you don’t need the reviews.
you spend a lot of time, energy, and words getting to the meat of the story, I really don’t understand what is the “meat” of the story. For me, the meat was that “something is going to go wrong” which is the perspective I chose to emphasize.
I could be wrong, I could be OT, but who can I ask? Mr. Anonymous does not answer the door, though the light is on.

My appeal to all the nasty/anonymous reviewers.

Reviews can and would be reviewed if only writers were given the chance.

We are all writers. Why can’t you open the debate and let people tell you what they think of your review? You can never be too proud to learn.
Look at your reviews, they all have spelling mistakes in them. Not many of them are signed or even say “Hello!” in any way at the start.

No one is perfect. I am not, but I am willing to take up the challenge of answering to anyone who has the guts to talk. I am mostly polite, respectful of others and open-minded. It is not a huge achievement, but I can see in these nasty/anonymous reviews that it is a big deal to achieve for some people.