Brushing the Law

Brushing the Law

         His name was Detective Rubencoffer and he wasn't very bright. He worked in a small town called Siffletun located along the banks of the Yiffleton River. It was a village really, only 492 inhabitants. Most of them worked on the long riverbarges that transported cargo from the great city of Hidon to the smaller townships down river. Detective Rubencoffer was small and balding and always wore a brown tweed jacket with a muffler. The muffler was to keep out the damp, he was fond of explaining to his neighbours, even though it was nearly always 80 degrees in Siffleton Village and it was almost never damp.
         Detective Rubencoffer had one rival, a rather tall thin man with a bushy mustache by the name of Ingronin. Ingronin didn't think Detective Rubencoffer was very bright at all, and Ingronin had ambitions to be the Sheriff of Siffleton Village. The rules in 1849 said that if a local town could not support a police officer, a sheriff could be voted in to take his place. Everyone in Siffletun knew that Ingronin wanted to be sheriff but the townspeople were all very proud of their detective. What other town along the Yiffleton River could boast of its own police force.
         One day Detective Rubencoffer was called to the lower banks of the river to Mr. Ingronin's house. Mr. Ingronin was standing outside on the porch gazing over the river bank to the barges in the far distance. Rubencoffer walked down the little path all dressed up in his brown tweed jacket with the muffler pulled up to his ears.
         "My house has been broken into, said Ingronin.
         Detective Rubencoffer, who always came prepared, took out a small notebook and a pencil. "Anything taken," he asked, licking the end of his pencil and frowning furiously.
         "My toothbrush," said Mister Ingronin, smiling.
         "Your toothbrush. I see," said Detective Rubencoffer, furiously scribbling in his notebook. "I must investigate the scene of the crime."
         Mr. Ingronin led Detective Rubencoffer through the small livingroom and into the watercloset at the back of the house. There on the counter was a waterbasin with a bucket of water, a ladel, a half a cake of soap, and some baking soda. The toothbrush was indeed, missing.
         "Why don't you just buy a new toothbrush," Detective Rubencoffer asked, hopefully.
         "I want my old toothbrush," said Mister Ingronin. "It's my favorite. How would you like to go to bed every night without your favorite toothbrush?"
         Detective Rubencoffer did not know what to say to that, so he closed his notebook, put it carefully into the pocket of his tweed jacket, gathered his muffler up around his ears, and strode out the door.
         The next day Detective Rubencoffer walked into the local pub where most of the village people gathered every night after dinner. Several of the village people were sitting around the backgammon table in the back of the room. Detective Rubencoffer saw Mr. Ingronin among them. He was telling the crowd how his house had been broken into. The voice of a man rose above the din of the crowd. "My house was broken into, too," he said. "And my toothbrush was stolen!"
         "And mine," said another voice from over by the bar.
         "And mine," said another man.
         Detective Rubencoffer took out his notebook and licked his pencil furiously. It wasn't long before he had 65 names written down in his book. He scratched his head thoughtfully.
         "Why don't you all just buy new toothbrushes," he asked the crowd.
         "No. No," said the crowd of villagefolk. "These are our favorite toothbrushes. How would you like to go to bed without your favorite toothbrush?"
         Detective Rubencoffer closed his notebook and put his pencil back in the pocket of his brown tweed jacket.
         "I have solved the crime," he announced, and he arrested Mr. Ingronin, forthwith.
         "But what proof have you?" Mr. Ingronin grumbled in protest.
         Detective Rubencoffer smiled and pulled his brown muffler up around his ears.
          "Mine was the only toothbrush that wasn't stolen," he said.