Wow! This is fantastic! I love how the words flow together and make the song just go tohether so well. I think that you should consider making this as a job for yourself... I know you dont want to be a singer but you could write beautiful songs... Keep up the good work!
This is very good...I like how Tim describes Dina and the way he likes her. The only thing I would change is Tim and Dina are becoming friends and then Tim starts dating other women and then he is married and divorced all in two paragraphs. I think that if you added a bit more information in between these events then your story would be longer and have more in it.
Wow this is a GREAT story you have got to keep going with this one you have something here and I know if you finish it you could get it published keep up the good work! The only thing i would do is add a few more details on the other characters and her mother...
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zealda1234
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 9:36pm on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX1.