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Review of First Valentine  
Review by JT 3000
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting story. I liked the second half a lot more than the first -- pretty much everything starting at paragraph 5 is interesting and well written.

The first 4 paragraphs are kind of confusing though. You use 4 names for the main character in the span of a couple paragraphs: Dr. Doreen Daniels, Dr. Daniels, Doreen, and Dr. D. That's probably too much.

The dialogue from Dr. Hillis seemed a little unnatural too.

For me, the story really picked up with the interaction with the computer and I liked the ending.

-jack
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