I've added stars to where I think changes could be made. All in all I really liked it lovely!
'Good things come to those who wait', isn't that what they always say? You never hear ***people say that good things happen to people with bad timing, to people who wait too long, who wait for the wrong things.***
I guess my story with Joost is a bit like that. We became good ***friends at work. After a while we could*** read each other's minds, discussed each other's flings and romantic failures.
Of course we did not know the ***significant others we gossiped about, but we ***just knew what they were like.
I really loved this sentence ---->> Our favourite and most entertaining subject, though, was laughing about ourselves and about each other. There was no weakness we could not dissect, laugh about and grow stronger and more self-secure from.
***Previously, I'd worked in offices with elderly gentlemen, extremely unattractive bald men, or just women***
***When I started working at XYZ,*** I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw young consultants everywhere,*** dressed in the finest designer suits. There were no receding hairlines, no dandruff, almost no gray hair or gray faces, just youth, self-confidence, testosterone, all over the place***
However, it felt exactly the***opposite. It was hell***. It was a sort of hell I had never seen*** before, a hell ***I had created myself for myself for what felt the rest of my life.
***I could't cry or run away either. It seemed there was not a gram of energy left inside of me.***
I spent many weeks on my own, recovering every day a*** little bit, both physically and mentally***.
After doing some thorough thinking and feeling, I decided to do something for myself, indulge myself and challenge myself at the same*** time. I knew what I would do. I would quit my job and go on a one-year trip around the world. After that , I would probably stay in Argentina with my family, and settle down as best I could.***
A couple of weeks later, I returned to the office. ***I was able to start working on a new project.***
I loved this too ----->>***over time*** Things became very relaxed. Joost and I started talking again, emailing and having drinks after work. I noticed there was something in the way we looked at each other and talked to each other that made me suspect there was more between us than we wanted to admit. It was the way we laughed together what gave it away. It was the way we shared a common little world that made us both feel ecstatic about little things, big things, work, colleagues, life. I loved that little world we both escaped to when we were together. It was so inviting that it made us want to spend more and more time together, almost never seeming to be able to get enough of each other.
I decided to go on the trip leaving guy ***number 5*** un-seduced. If our love was real, I thought, it would only benefit from this new experience I was about to make, becoming more mature and turning into this 'true big love'. Sure, this was not very realistic. I would certainly miss our little world very much, but, in a way, our little world was now part of my world, so I would be able to carry it with me to every corner of the earth, no matter how remote. Joost would always travel with me, in my heart, in the memory of our laughs and talks. Even if we had never kissed or even touched, he had gotten under my skin - and that's where he would stay at all times and in all adventures to come.
A few points: try not to use dashes (-) in your work. Add a full stop, comma, colon etc.
When writing numbers, instead of writing #3 etc, actually write 'number three'
Apart from that it was really interesting to read, I can't wait to see what happens next! |
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