This is a very powerful form. I feel it starts much stronger then it ends though. At first I was thinking wow, what a depressing ending but I mean you really can not have to joyful of an ending on such a serious and sad poem. However some of the stanzas towards the middle could use a little reworking to flow a bit better.
I am very impressed with this poem. I'm new to this site but have read through a lot of peoples poems already and this sticks out as the best I have found yet. It flows and reads so well. The length is perfect as well. The end really hits you in the gut. Congratulations, yo have an excellent poem here.
Overall this is a very good poem. It starts off very strong. The first two stanzas are excellent and by the the strongest of the poem. The third does not flow as well as the rest. The fourth is fine, I do not lean strongly either way on it. You finish strong.
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