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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
To be perfectly honest, it's not bad. Although I cannot say whether I like the story or not, since there is too little to judge on, I can say something about this chapter.

It's not badly written. I'm sure with some editing you'll be able to find out the mistakes on your own. However, I'm willing to give you a few pointers.

Firstly, avoid using numbers in their numerical form. Like when you said, "10 years ago." Write "ten" instead of "10." You should use the numerical form only when the number is too big to write, like 1,234,545. (You're obviously not going to write one million, two hundred thirty-four thousand, five hundred forty-five. That would be impractical."

"On the day he was born, his parents with other Golems fled from"

Regarding this sentence, I'd rephrase it a bit. Perhaps "his parents and the other Golems fled from..." Not that it's wrong, but it doesn't read very well, in my opinion.

"were captured, worked as laborers with no food and killed when they became useless"

Regarding this one, I'd add "forced" before "worked". I'm sure you'll understand why.

One last thing, you have a typo in "prooved." I think it should be "proven."

Anyway that's all, and do post another chapter. Your story is original and interesting.
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