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50 Total Reviews Given
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Review of A Force of One  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just a quick note, really love reading your poetry. I think I've read 15 or so. When are you going to publish. I would buy.:)
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This article does a great job of capturing the anticipation and urgency surrounding the formation of a government of national unity in the Democratic Republic of Congo. It presents a range of perspectives from citizens who are directly affected, making the issue feel personal and immediate rather than just another political development. The inclusion of voices like Jean Malundu, Giselle Mukunji, and Grégoire Musotila adds depth, showing how different people—civil society leaders, human rights activists, and teachers—are all invested in the country’s future. That human element makes the piece compelling and relevant.

What Works Well:
Timely and Relevant Reporting: The article tackles an ongoing, high-stakes political shift in the DRC and presents it in a way that feels both informative and urgent. This is exactly the kind of reporting that keeps people engaged with important world events.
Diverse Perspectives: By including multiple viewpoints, the piece avoids being one-dimensional. It highlights different concerns, from gender parity to national security, showing that this new government has a lot of expectations to meet.
Clear Structure and Flow: The article is easy to follow, with each section naturally leading into the next. It sets up the context, presents key voices, and ends with a forward-looking perspective, making it feel well-rounded and complete.
Actionable Feedback:
Expand on the Challenges of Unity: The article presents the formation of a unity government as a largely positive step, which it very well could be. But unity governments can be fragile—what are the main political divides that need to be overcome? A brief mention of potential challenges would give a more balanced picture.
Example: After mentioning that unity could send a strong message nationally and internationally, the article could add, "However, ensuring real cooperation among political rivals remains a challenge, as past attempts at unity have faced internal disputes and power struggles."
Provide a Stronger Conclusion: Right now, the article ends with an observer’s statement about the message a unity government could send. This is a solid point, but it could be stronger with a call to action or a reflection on what’s at stake. What do citizens need to watch for in the coming weeks? How can the international community support this process?
Example: "As consultations begin, the coming weeks will reveal whether this government can deliver on its promise of stability. For now, the people of the DRC are watching and waiting—hoping that this time, unity will mean more than just a name."
Encouraging Takeaway on the Situation:
It’s easy to be cynical about politics, especially in a country facing ongoing crises, but this moment in the DRC’s history has the potential to be a turning point. The fact that citizens are voicing their concerns and expectations shows that there’s real engagement with the process, and that’s powerful. If this unity government is formed with genuine cooperation and a commitment to change, it could bring much-needed stability—especially in the eastern regions where violence continues. The key now is follow-through. If the leaders involved recognize the weight of this moment and take action with the people’s needs at the forefront, this could mark the beginning of a stronger, more cohesive DRC.

Looking forward to seeing how this unfolds!

One of the most powerful ways to create lasting change in the DRC—and across Sub-Saharan Africa—is by investing in women’s education. Studies show that when girls receive an education, economies grow, poverty decreases, and communities become more resilient. In a country like the DRC, where conflict and instability have made education inaccessible for many, supporting organizations that empower women through learning could be a game-changer. Charities like CAMFED (Campaign for Female Education), the Malala Fund, Women for Women International, and The MAMA Network are doing critical work in providing scholarships, mentorship, vocational training, and reproductive health education to women and girls in need. If the DRC’s new unity government truly wants to build a stronger future, ensuring women have access to education should be a priority. And for those of us watching from the outside, supporting these initiatives is one of the best ways to contribute to real, lasting progress.
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Review of Book 1 Chapter 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This chapter does a fantastic job of establishing atmosphere and tension right from the start. The setting feels alive, with the ever-changing Crackern and the eerie, unnatural storm. The lighthouse itself is a perfect anchor for mystery and isolation, and Elias’s role as the keeper gives the reader an immediate sense of responsibility and urgency. The pacing is smooth, and the introduction of Anna adds a compelling new layer to the tension.

What Works Well:
Strong Atmosphere & Setting: The descriptions of the storm are vivid and unique, making it feel like a character in its own right. Lines like “Clouds of fog wandered above the waves, traveling wherever they pleased without even bothering to follow the wind” give the storm an eerie, almost sentient quality.
Compelling Protagonist: Elias’s practical, duty-driven nature makes him easy to root for. His internal conflict—whether to prioritize the lantern or investigate Anna’s claims—adds depth to his character.
Intriguing Mystery: The sudden appearance of Anna and her claim of a shipwreck, despite no visible signs of a wreck, immediately raises questions. This is a great way to hook the reader for what comes next.
Actionable Feedback:
Clarify the Storm’s Supernatural Nature: Right now, the storm is described as strange, but it’s not entirely clear if Elias sees it as supernatural or just unusual. A bit more internal reaction from him—perhaps recalling whether he’s ever seen anything remotely like it before—could help ground the reader’s understanding.
Example: Instead of “Because that storm was the strangest thing he’d yet laid eyes on,” you could add a personal comparison: “In thirteen years, he had seen hurricanes carve new cliffs into the Crackern, but he had never seen anything like this.”
Deepen Elias’s Reaction to Anna: Elias seems oddly quick to accept Anna’s presence without much emotional response. A little more hesitation, suspicion, or even concern (since a storm like this could easily claim lives) would add realism and tension.
Example: Instead of “He doubted that,” you could expand with a thought: “He doubted that. The sea was cruel, but it was predictable—wrecks left debris, bodies, cries for help. He had seen none of those.”
Increase Sensory Detail in Action Scenes: When the door blows open and Anna stumbles in, the moment could feel more immediate with stronger sensory details—perhaps the feel of the wind’s force, the sound of the door slamming against the wall, or the rush of cold, wet air.
Example: Instead of “a sudden blast of wind pushed the door inward, throwing it wide open,” something like: “The wind struck the door like a battering ram, flinging it open so violently that the hinges groaned. Cold rain lashed inside, soaking the floor in seconds.”
Overall, this is a strong, engaging opening chapter with great atmosphere and intrigue. Strengthening Elias’s reactions and sharpening some of the sensory details would make it even more immersive. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes next!
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This poem is such a fun, lighthearted take on rivalry, love, and baking! The playful tone really shines, and the mix of humor and warmth makes it a joy to read. The idea of two feuding bakers whose grandchildren fall in love is fantastic, and I love how it all comes together in the end. The way food bridges the gap between generations and turns competition into family is really satisfying. The humor is spot-on, too—lines like "He doesn’t know a muffin" and "The worst that can happen—you're never going to make banana bread" add so much personality.

What’s Working Well:
Playful, Engaging Tone – The humor lands really well, and the dialogue makes the characters feel alive. The Romeo and Juliet reference is clever but doesn’t feel forced.
Clear, Fun Storyline – It flows naturally, and the ending is especially strong. There’s a great sense of build-up, and the resolution is satisfying.
Great Use of Dialogue – The interactions between characters make the poem feel lively and dynamic. The final exchange, especially, ties everything up beautifully.
Areas to Strengthen:
Smoother Rhythm & Flow – Some lines are a little longer or choppier than others, which interrupts the rhythm slightly. Tightening the phrasing in a few spots would help.
Example: Instead of "Her Romeo, he comforted her / 'The tears make your eyes so red'"
→ Try "Her Romeo held her near / 'Your tears make your eyes so red'" to keep the rhythm smooth.
More Sensory Details – Since baking is such a big part of the poem, adding a little more description of the smells, textures, or flavors would make it even richer.
Example: When the banana bread is done, instead of just saying it’s ready, you could describe the warm, sweet scent filling the air.
More Emphasis on the Rivalry – The setup is great, but giving a little more context on what makes Grandpa and Grandma’s baking special would make their competition feel even stronger. Maybe a quick mention of their signature dishes or how their feud has shaped the town?
Example: Instead of "Better bread, better cake, better cookies,"
→ Try "His cakes were legendary, her pies divine / Each swore their baking would always outshine."
Final Thoughts:
This is such a charming, fun poem with a great mix of humor and heart. The ending is perfect, and the story is engaging from start to finish. With just a little fine-tuning to the rhythm and some added sensory details, it could be even stronger. This is such a great style—definitely keep going with it!-aiden
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This poem has such a quiet, haunting beauty to it. The imagery is strong, and the contrast between the "grey plots" and the forget-me-nots really brings out that theme of remembrance and renewal. I love how the seasonal shift from winter to spring mirrors that idea of life and death, with the "sleeping rose" waiting to bloom again. There's something so delicate about the way it's written, especially in lines like "ice-blue forget-me-nots eager to disperse their spell." That’s just gorgeous.

There are a few places where things could be tightened or expanded to make the emotional weight hit even harder. The rose, for example—it’s a powerful symbol, but its connection to the forget-me-nots and the graves could be a little clearer. Right now, it's sleeping and waking, which is lovely, but is it meant to represent a person, memory, or something else? Maybe adding a small detail, like "stretching toward whispered names," could make that connection stronger.

The "gum drops on a bashful schoolboy's plate" metaphor is interesting, but it shifts the tone a bit. If the idea is to highlight the orderliness of the graves in a way that contrasts with the natural elements, that could be reinforced. Maybe something like "each measured and spaced like careful stitches on a seamstress’s cloth" would keep the same idea but feel a little more in line with the rest of the poem’s tone.

The ending is already really lovely, but I wonder if the transition from "one for me—one for you" to "now they rest together" could be just a bit smoother. Instead of "amidst blue-fields of forget-me-nots," something like "woven into the hush of blue-fields" might make it feel even more seamless and final.

Overall, this is a beautiful, atmospheric poem with such a strong theme of memory and renewal. Strengthening the connections between the rose, the forget-me-nots, and the graves just a little more would make it even more powerful. This has so much potential—keep going with this voice, because it’s really working. -aiden
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Stormy,

This chapter is intense—in the best way. Your ability to create an atmosphere thick with tension and unspoken emotion is incredible. The way you weave Mara’s internal struggle with the external world makes every scene feel like it’s teetering on the edge of something inevitable, and I love that.

The tarot reading was haunting. It didn’t just serve as foreshadowing; it felt like a mirror reflecting all the things Mara is trying to avoid. The imagery was sharp, almost hypnotic, and I could feel the weight of every card as if they were being laid out in front of me. Lavender’s presence in the scene was particularly striking—ethereal, detached, and yet somehow completely in control. You made her feel like both a ghost and a judge, which is no easy feat.

Mara herself—God, she’s unraveling beautifully. Every flicker of hesitation, every half-formed thought, every moment where she tries to ground herself and fails… It all reads so real. You’re making her breakdown feel earned, not forced, and that’s what makes it hit so hard.

If I had to suggest anything, it would be to lean just a little more into the sensory elements when Mara starts losing herself. The way she perceives touch, sound, even time—if those distortions are pushed just a bit further, it’ll make her spiral feel even more immersive. Also, I’d love to see more of how other people are reacting to her unraveling. The way you write Mara’s perception of them is fantastic, but a few more glimpses of their perception of her could add another layer of tension.

Overall, this was stunning. Raw, unsettling, and deeply human. You’ve outdone yourself. Can’t wait to see where this goes next.

—Aiden
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is seriously strong writing. The emotions hit hard, and the poetic style gives everything this dreamlike, almost hypnotic quality. The way you use imagery—like "a sapphire pool that melted into her like butter”—makes everything feel rich and immersive. There's a lot of weight to this, and it sticks with you.

That said, there are a few things that could tighten it up and make it hit even harder.

1. Ground the Reader a Bit More

The poetic style is great, but sometimes it makes it tricky to tell exactly when or where things are happening. Like here:

> "I lived in an attic several miles away and she lived in a maze."



Does "maze" mean an actual physical place, or is it more metaphorical? Same with the "sapphire pool”—is that a literal setting or just a way of describing her presence? A little more clarity here would make it easier for the reader to fully sink into the world.

2. Make the Character Dynamics Clearer

The relationships in the story are compelling, but some of the dynamics could be spelled out just a little more. Like this part:

> "Someone lovely lingered in her ether too, her dark eyes watching my every movement when we were all together."



That’s a really intriguing line, but it’s not entirely clear how the narrator and this other woman see each other. Was there direct tension between them? Did the other woman acknowledge the narrator's feelings, or was it more of an unspoken rivalry? A small, specific interaction between them could give this more bite.

3. Let Emotion Play Out in Action

Right now, a lot of the narrator’s emotions are described in a very internal, abstract way, which works well for the overall tone. But adding a few moments of physical action could make the feelings even more visceral.

For example, instead of just:

> "Shame spiraled into fear and fear turned inward into a vexation for myself."



You could show it with a physical reaction:

> "My fingers hovered over the keyboard before slamming the delete button. My chest felt tight, like all the words I had swallowed were pressing against my ribs, trying to escape."



That kind of small, tangible action can make the emotions feel even more real.

4. Watch for Overly Layered Metaphors

The language is beautiful, but sometimes the metaphors pile on so much that they lose a little clarity. Take this line:

> "The surges of toxicity pulsed through my being like a beam of light trapped against mirrors, reflecting back and forth until all paths were blurred."



It’s visually striking, but a more direct beat—like "Jealousy burned through me, relentless and inescapable."—might actually land harder. Sometimes, keeping it simple makes the impact even stronger.

Final Thoughts

This is already such a powerful piece. The emotion is raw, the writing is striking, and it lingers in the best way. If you anchor a few details more clearly, sharpen the character dynamics, and balance the poetic with the concrete, this could be even more gut-punching. Keep going—this has serious potential. When I have a chance I will take a look at the other two chapters as well.

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Review of Free as a bird  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this poem—it’s filled with hope and a beautiful, uplifting vision of freedom and spiritual transcendence. The repeated “One day” creates a powerful, anticipatory rhythm, inviting the reader to dream of a future where burdens are lifted and souls take flight. The imagery of soaring like a bird and answering a divine call is both moving and inspiring.

That said, there are a few ways you could polish the piece even further by tightening up the rhyme scheme and flow. Here are some actionable suggestions with examples that keep the original spirit intact:

Create a Consistent Rhyme Scheme:
While the poem has moments where lines rhyme beautifully (like “breeze” and “please”), some lines could be adjusted to maintain that consistency throughout. For example, consider revising the second line:
Original: “One day I will be free as a bird from a cage.”
Suggestion: “One day I’ll break free, soaring high with ease, far from the confines of life’s cold cage.”
This not only keeps the “ease/cage” sound but also reinforces the theme of liberation.
Refine the Transitions Between Ideas:
Some lines can be smoothed out to strengthen the narrative flow. Take the line about spreading wings, for instance:
Original: “One day I will spread my wings and fly away from here.”
Suggestion: “One day I’ll spread my wings, with not a hint of fear, and fly away on paths made clear.”
This couplet preserves the hopeful tone and adds a consistent rhyme.
Enhance the Spiritual Imagery:
The lines about hearing Jesus your Master are pivotal moments. Consider tightening those for an even more lyrical impact. For example:
Original: “One day when I hear Jesus I will respond and my soul will leave this old body.”
Suggestion: “One day when Jesus calls me near, my soul will leave this form so drear.”
This keeps the rhyme (near/ drear) and intensifies the spiritual longing.
Polish the Closing Lines for a Strong Finish:
The ending should leave the reader with a sense of fulfillment. The final line can be refined to echo the poem’s hopeful refrain:
Original: “My work will be done, my race I would have run and won so away I will fly world bye-bye.”
Suggestion: “When my race is run and all is done, I’ll fly away on wings of sky—so high, goodbye.”
This maintains the celebratory tone while offering a satisfying, rhythmic close.
Overall, this poem already soars with heartfelt yearning and spiritual hope. With just a few tweaks to tighten the rhyme and enhance the flow, it could become even more impactful. Keep flying high with your words—they truly inspire!
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this poem—it’s full of warmth and nostalgic charm, whisking the reader back to those magical moments spent in the library as a child. The vivid imagery, like “towering shelves, stacked high with books I couldn’t reach,” really paints a picture of wonder, and I love the way it contrasts the quiet, rule-bound past with the vibrant, modern energy of today’s libraries.

Here are a few thoughts on how to polish it up even further:

Smooth the Transition Between Past and Present:
The line “But that was long ago, Seventy years and more” is impactful, yet the shift feels a bit abrupt. A gentle bridge can help carry the reader from memory to now. For example, you might try:
“Though those early days have long since passed,
and time has carried me far at last…”
This couplet eases the transition while keeping the reflective tone intact.
Clarify Evocative Imagery:
The reference to “that gloomy place beneath the church” is wonderfully mysterious, but offering a bit more context could deepen the scene. For instance, you might consider:
“the quiet nook beneath the ancient church…”
This subtle tweak preserves the mood and gives the reader a clearer image of that memorable spot.
Refine Word Choice for a Modern Touch:
In the final stanza, the line “Where librarians no longer quieten” is intriguing but could be updated to better capture the lively, modern vibe. Consider rephrasing it as:
“Where librarians now embrace the sound,
and joyful chatter does abound…”
This couplet neatly contrasts the past’s hushed tones with today’s energetic atmosphere.
Tighten the Rhythm and Flow:
The poem’s charm lies in its smooth, almost song-like quality. Look at the line:
“Would take my time to make my best selection.”
You could tighten it up for a more consistent flow. For example:
“I’d linger, choosing with delight and ease,
selecting that book to truly please.”
This couplet keeps the musical quality while making the rhythm more engaging.
Overall, this poem is a delightful celebration of cherished memories and the evolution of a beloved space. With just a few tweaks to smooth transitions, clarify imagery, and refine the rhythm, it will resonate even more deeply with readers. Fantastic work—keep writing from the heart, and let your unique voice continue to shine!
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this piece—it’s full of life, humor, and heart. Even though I had to rely on translation to understand it, the story comes through as a lively slice-of-life moment from a classroom on Valentine’s Day. The mix of playful banter, candid reflections on love and disappointment, and genuine care among friends really shines through. It’s clear that the characters feel real, with their teasing, advice, and even the bittersweet moments of rejection and hope.

Here are a few thoughts on how to make it even stronger:

Enhance the Story Flow:
The narrative jumps between humorous moments and more serious reflections, which works well overall. However, a smoother transition between these moods could help guide the reader. For example, when shifting from the excitement of a friend preparing a gift to the disappointment that follows, a brief sentence acknowledging that shift could deepen the emotional impact.
Clarify Character Perspectives:
The interactions are engaging, and the way the classmates support one another is really heartwarming. To make it even more relatable, consider highlighting each character’s unique voice a bit more. For instance, when one friend offers words of encouragement or advice, a little extra context about their personality or relationship with the speaker might add depth and clarity.
Strengthen the Central Message:
The piece does a great job of capturing the ups and downs of young relationships and the importance of solidarity among friends. Emphasizing this message just a touch more—perhaps with a brief, reflective conclusion—could leave the reader with an even stronger sense of unity and hope.
Overall, this narrative is both funny and moving, capturing the unpredictable nature of young love and friendship in a classroom setting. With a few tweaks to enhance transitions and deepen character insights, it could become even more impactful. Your unique perspective and the authenticity of these moments truly shine through—keep up the fantastic work!
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Review of Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this poem—it’s bursting with vivid imagery and a sense of freedom that immediately pulls you in. The blue seas and skies create such a dreamy backdrop, and phrases like “twilight of blues” and “scattering mesmerizing hues” give the piece a wonderfully visual quality. There’s a playful, almost ethereal energy here that makes the poem feel both light and profound.

That said, there are a few tweaks that could make it even stronger:

Clarify Ambiguous Phrases:
Some lines are beautifully abstract but could use a bit of clarity to help the reader fully grasp the imagery. For instance, the lines:
“Like the sailing bright kites
fall into and swim as long as it inks.”
might be reworked to something like:
“Like bright kites that dip and dive,
Sinking into an inky sea, alive.”
This keeps the playful image while making the action clearer.
Polish Punctuation and Flow:
There are a few spots where punctuation feels a bit off, which can interrupt the poem’s natural rhythm. For example:
“Clouds , when they clear-”
could be tightened up to:
“Clouds, when they clear—”
A consistent use of punctuation will help maintain that smooth, lyrical flow.
Strengthen the Closing Transition:
The ending has a mysterious, haunting quality that’s really compelling, but it might hit even harder with a bit more precision. Instead of:
“Either you paint or behold
I'm that eve whom you can't hold
for nights shall come in
And a dark lullaby fade in.”
you might try:
“Either you create or simply behold,
I am the eve you can’t ever hold.
As night descends with a dim lullaby,
Echoes of light slowly say goodbye.”
This revision keeps the mood intact while sharpening the imagery and emotional impact.
Overall, this poem has a strong creative spark and a wonderfully imaginative quality. With just a few refinements to clarify the imagery and smooth out the flow, it could become even more captivating. Keep pushing your creative boundaries—your work is already inspiring, and these small changes will only make it shine brighter!
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Review of King Of Beasts  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story is an absolute gut punch. It starts off so normal, lulling the reader into a false sense of security before descending into absolute chaos. The pacing is tight, the descriptions are visceral, and the sheer inevitability of the horror makes it all the more terrifying. The way the narrator processes everything—fluctuating between detached observation and raw panic—feels incredibly real. And that ending? Brutal. It doesn't hold back, and I love that.

Constructive Criticism
1. Build Up the Tension Before the Attack

The transition from normal park life to a full-scale lion attack is effective, but it could be even stronger with a few more unsettling details beforehand. Right now, the attack comes suddenly, which works, but a little more buildup could make it even more shocking.

Before "The yelling started when a pride of lions came up over the hill,"
Maybe add some eerie foreshadowing:
"The usual summer sounds—laughing children, buzzing cicadas—faded. A heavy stillness settled over the park. A rustle in the tall grass. A shape, too low to be human, moving in the distance."
2. The Ending Is Strong, but One Sentence Sticks Out

The last moments are gruesome and effective, but this part:

"His claws tore at my neck, and then I felt an agonizing bite into my head as his long fangs entered where they didn't belong and I expelled most of my intestines."
The phrase "where they didn’t belong" feels too vague compared to the rest of the imagery.
Maybe something like:
"His fangs sank deep, piercing my skull, cracking bone. My body convulsed, spilling my insides onto the cold steel floor."
It keeps the horror sharp and immediate.
Final Thoughts
This is an incredibly intense, well-paced story that doesn’t pull any punches. It builds tension fast and keeps the reader hooked until the bitter end. With just a few tweaks—it could hit even harder. It’s already terrifying; these changes would just sharpen the knife.
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Review of The Honors  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem has a beautifully ethereal, almost Shakespearean quality that makes it feel both timeless and deeply introspective. The old-fashioned language gives it a dreamlike, almost prayer-like rhythm, which adds to its emotional weight. The repetition of phrases like "my dear, are you awake" creates a haunting, lyrical effect that really pulls the reader in. There’s a strong sense of searching, of grappling with something just out of reach, which makes it compelling.

Constructive Criticism
1. Clarifying Meaning Without Losing the Poetic Feel

While the language is evocative, some lines feel a little too obscure, making it hard to grasp the full meaning. Adjusting word choice slightly could make the message clearer while keeping the stylistic integrity.

"to try the trudest true of thine own"
"Trudest" is a bit of a stumbling block. A revision that keeps the poetic flow intact:
"to seek the truest truth of thine own"
"pain me without thy mind and take no scare"
This line is a little unclear. If the intent is to say cause me pain but do not fear for me, something like:
"Let me bear pain without fear, unshaken in mind."
would clarify the meaning without changing the tone.
2. Smoothing Out Sentence Flow

Some lines feel a bit inverted or choppy, which makes them harder to follow. Slight rewording could improve readability.

"from now, until the dawn when mine breaks"
Could be refined to:
"From now until my dawn breaks."
This keeps the poetic feel but tightens the wording.
"let grace be thy god and together like men we remain forgiven"
Might flow better as:
"Let grace be thy god, and together, as men, we remain forgiven."
3. Strengthening Thematic Consistency

The poem explores deep themes of trust, forgiveness, and inner strength, but some lines introduce ideas that feel slightly disconnected. Making sure every image ties back to these central themes could make the piece even stronger.

For example, the line "no light in the shadows scathe my trust" is intriguing but could be tied more clearly to the themes of forgiveness and resilience. Maybe reinforcing how trust remains intact despite darkness would strengthen this idea.
Final Thoughts
This poem has a raw, searching quality that makes it resonate. The classical language and introspective tone make it feel weighty and significant. With some small refinements for clarity and cohesion, it could be even more powerful. The emotional depth is already there—it just needs a little sharpening to make every line hit with full impact. This is a strong piece with a lot of potential. Great work!
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Review of To Begin  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is such a fun and lively read! It perfectly captures the mix of excitement, hesitation, and determination that comes with a baby learning to crawl. The repetition of “Should I, could I” and “Shall not, cannot” adds such a great rhythmic pull, making the reader feel that back-and-forth struggle in a really engaging way. The imagery is adorable—lines like “My butt’s in the air, wiggling” paint such a clear, playful picture, and I love how the baby’s curiosity and energy practically jump off the page.

That being said, there are a few spots where the rhythm could be tightened up a bit. For example:

“My butt’s in the air, wiggling. / Let’s go burn rubber and squeal.”
The first line has a different meter than the second, which makes it feel slightly off-balance. Maybe something like “My butt’s up high, I give a wiggle. / Time to zoom, let’s squeal and giggle.” would smooth it out.
“This urge to move, get up and go / proves difficult to quell.”
The second line feels a little more formal than the rest of the poem’s playful tone. Something like “But stopping now? Oh, what a spell!” might keep it feeling more natural.
I also think adding a tiny bit more sensory detail could really bring the experience to life. Maybe something about the coolness of the floor, the feeling of rocking back and forth, or even the determination in the baby’s tiny fingers gripping the ground.

And finally, I found myself wanting just a little more of a resolution at the end. Does the baby take that first crawl? A small addition, even just a line or two, could give it a stronger finish—maybe something like:
“I shift my weight, I lean ahead, / One small step—no fear, no dread!”

Overall, this is such a charming, well-written poem, and it does an amazing job of capturing such a huge moment in a tiny person’s life. Just a few small tweaks, and it would be even stronger. Fantastic work!
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Review of Bernard  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is an absolute delight! The clever use of the alternating "B" and "T" structure adds a rhythmic playfulness that perfectly complements the whimsical fairytale theme. The storytelling is engaging, painting a vivid picture of Bernard, the unfortunate yet endearing frog, whose bardic soul remains undiminished despite his amphibian fate.

The rhyme and meter flow beautifully, making the poem a joy to read aloud. The humor, particularly in Bernard’s "bombastic" singing and the abrupt departure of Belinda, adds a lighthearted twist, keeping the reader entertained. Yet, beneath the fun and wordplay, there’s an underlying poignancy—Bernard’s longing for love and the passage of time add a layer of depth that lingers after the final lines.

Overall, this poem is both skillfully crafted and emotionally resonant. It takes a classic idea and gives it a fresh, imaginative spin. Fantastic work!
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This chapter is beautifully written, with a quiet, heavy atmosphere that really captures the numbness of grief. The way the protagonist moves through the morning—detached, going through the motions—feels so real. The details, like the lingering coffee rings on the table or the way the rain blurs the edges of everything, add this underlying sense of transience and loss without being heavy-handed. It’s subtle but powerful.

The dialogue is another strong point. The conversation with the father feels distant but loaded, and Tom’s awkwardness is spot on. People never really know what to say in moments like this, and that awkwardness makes everything feel even more isolating for the protagonist. It’s handled really well.

What’s Working:
The atmosphere is on point. The setting mirrors the emotional weight without over-explaining it.
The dialogue is natural. It captures the weird, uncomfortable way people respond to loss.
The grief feels real. The protagonist’s numbness comes through in what’s not said just as much as what is.
What Could Be Stronger:
A little more emotional variation
The detached tone works, but there could be a tiny moment where something cracks—maybe a memory slipping through or a sudden, physical reaction. Just something small to give contrast.
Clarifying relationships
Verity’s role isn’t entirely clear. Even a small hint—like how she relates to the protagonist—would help.
The relationship with the mother is mostly framed through her illness, but a tiny glimpse of who she was to him outside of that would make the loss hit even harder.
Pacing tweaks
Some of the longer, introspective sections are great but could have a sharper impact if broken up a little. Especially at the end—maybe a short, stark sentence to land the weight of it all.
Final Thoughts:
This chapter already does a fantastic job of capturing that hollow, disorienting feeling of loss. With just a few small adjustments—like adding a slight emotional shift and clarifying some relationships—it could hit even harder. But overall, it’s strong, immersive, and lingers with you after reading.
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece does a great job of making something as routine as driving feel intense, almost like a battle. The language is vivid, and the metaphors really bring out the chaos of the road. There’s a lot of movement in the writing, which keeps it engaging, and I like the contrast between experienced drivers and reckless ones. It gives the piece some depth beyond just describing traffic. The last lines, where a “routine privilege and joyous pleasure” turns into “a devastating mistake,” add a weighty, almost philosophical tone, which makes for a strong ending.

What’s Working Well:

Strong, Vivid Language – Phrases like “bumper-to-bumper headache” and “insidious chaos of being manhandled” make traffic feel almost like a living, breathing thing.

Interesting Theme – It’s not just about driving—it touches on patience, skill, and the consequences of reckless behavior.

Memorable Metaphors – Calling bad drivers “belligerent warthogs” is both funny and fitting. The “dam bursting” comparison also works well to show how quickly things can spiral out of control.


Areas for Improvement:

1. Clarify the Core Message – Right now, the piece moves between different ideas—strategy, patience, frustration, and the dangers of recklessness—without one central theme tying it all together. Is it about how skilled drivers navigate chaos? The unpredictability of the road? The cost of impatience? Sharpening that focus would make the impact stronger.

Example: If it’s about the wisdom of experienced drivers, the ending could reflect that instead of just warning about disaster. Something like:
“The road always challenges even the best drivers, but those who master its rhythm gain more than safe passage—they earn understanding.”



2. Simplify Some of the More Abstract Phrases – Lines like “impassioned, yet sensitive drivers use their sense of purpose and direction to gauge limited options” are a little dense. The poetic tone works, but some sections could be streamlined for better readability.

Example: Instead of: “To gauge limited options, extracting movements from their valued experience and consummate know-how,”
Try: “To make split-second choices, relying on hard-earned skill and instinct.”



3. Smooth Out the Transition to the Ending – The piece builds up all this momentum with descriptions of traffic, then suddenly shifts to “a brutal, disheartening, and unruly demise.” If the goal is to show how reckless driving leads to disaster, that shift could be set up earlier so it doesn’t feel so abrupt.

Example: Something like “Yet the road is as unforgiving as it is familiar, turning carelessness into catastrophe in an instant.” could help ease into that ending.




Final Thoughts:

This piece already has a strong foundation with its vivid imagery and engaging descriptions. Tightening the focus, simplifying some of the more abstract lines, and smoothing the transition to the ending would make it even stronger. The magic is already there—it just needs a little refining to make it hit even harder.
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Review of THE RAINBOW MAN  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story has a classic, fairy-tale-like charm that makes it feel timeless. The idea of Sam, the harlequin who loses his laughter but finds new magic in a rainbow, is both uplifting and visually striking. The language gives it a dreamlike quality, making it feel like something that could be told around a campfire or passed down through generations. The last lines, about some rainbows glowing forever, really seal the deal—there’s a lasting sense of wonder and hope that sticks with you.

What’s Working Well:

Strong Sense of Magic – The story leans into its whimsical nature, which works perfectly for a tale about a circus performer rediscovering joy through something extraordinary.

Emotional Core – Sam’s journey from losing his spark to regaining it through magic and love makes for a compelling arc. It’s a theme that resonates with anyone who’s ever struggled to find their passion again.

Memorable Ending – The idea that Sam’s magic lives on in the night sky leaves readers with a sense of mystery and hope. It’s the kind of closing that lingers.


Areas for Improvement:

1. Give More Depth to Sam’s Struggle – Right now, his jokes “drying up” is a bit sudden. If there’s a little more about what that feels like—frustration, sadness, fear—it would make his transformation even stronger.

Example: Instead of just saying his jokes dried up, you could add something like:
“No matter how hard he tried, the laughter was gone. The cheers had faded to polite applause, and Sam felt the weight of silence pressing down on him.”



2. Make the Rainbow’s Meaning Clearer – The rainbow is visually stunning, but what does it represent to Sam? Is it his regained joy? His connection with the audience? Tying it to his emotions a little more could add depth.

Example: “Each color of the rainbow held a memory—a child’s laughter, a tear of joy, the golden glow of the circus lights. He wasn’t just performing magic. He was weaving every moment of happiness he’d ever known into something real.”



3. Polish Some of the Repetition – The repeated mentions of magic, rainbows, and wonder help reinforce the story’s themes, but tweaking a few sentences could improve the rhythm.

Example: Instead of “He wove the colors of a miracle about himself wherever he went with the Marvelous Big Tent of the Circus of Magic,”
You could say: “Wherever he went, the colors swirled around him—a living miracle beneath the golden glow of the circus tent.”



4. Sharpen the Ending Just a Bit – The final paragraph is strong, but tightening it up slightly could make it hit even harder.

Example: “On a bright, starry night, beneath the glow of the greatest stage of all, you can still see him—the Rainbow Man, spinning his magic for those who believe. Some rainbows never fade. Some are made of pure love.”




Final Thoughts:

This is a solid, feel-good story with a lot of heart. A little more focus on Sam’s struggle, a stronger emotional tie to the rainbow, and a few tweaks for flow would take it to the next level. The magic is already there—it just needs a bit of fine-tuning to shine even brighter.
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Review of The Heat Wave  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem does a great job of capturing the unbearable weight of a relentless heat wave. The imagery is strong, and I can really feel the exhaustion and frustration pouring through the lines. The conversational moments, like “Child get in here and stop opening and closing that door,” give it a natural, familiar tone that makes it feel like someone is telling their story in real time. That’s what makes it so effective—it’s not just about the heat, but about the way it grinds people down, wears on their patience, and leaves them desperate for relief. The repetition of the heat’s presence makes it feel inescapable, which really works for this piece.

Ways to Make It Even Stronger (Keeping the Rhyme Intact):
Smooth Out the Flow Without Losing the Impact
Some lines are a little longer than others, which throws off the rhythm in spots. Keeping the structure more even would make it flow better.
Example:
“Power outages throughout the region has made this heat wave very mean”
Try: “The power’s out, the heat won’t fade—this wave is cruel, a deadly blade.”
This keeps the rhyme while making the line hit harder and flow more smoothly.
Make the Heat Feel Even More Suffocating with Stronger Sensory Details
The poem already describes the heat well, but adding more texture—things you can feel, hear, even taste—would make it even more immersive.
Example:
Instead of: “Days and days of solid heat, somebody said that it's already been nine”
Try: “Nine long days, the air stands still, the heat so thick it breaks my will.”
This keeps the rhyme but adds a deeper sense of exhaustion.
End with a Stronger, More Poetic Punch
The last line wraps things up, but giving it a more powerful finish would leave a stronger impact.
Example:
Instead of: “Because it’s hot out there, and I must stay alive!”
Try: “The sun still burns, no end in sight—I’ll fight for shade, I’ll last this night.”
This keeps the urgency but makes the ending more striking.
Overall, this poem already has a strong foundation and a clear voice. The emotions come through, and the imagery makes it easy to picture the scene. A few tweaks to the rhythm and sensory details would take it from strong to unforgettable. Keep going—this is a great piece!
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Review of The Last Snow Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is a beautifully written reflection on legacy, memory, and the acceptance of mortality. The prose is poetic and immersive, drawing the reader into a world where the weight of the past and the fleeting joys of the present exist side by side. The imagery is strong—snow-covered landscapes, the scent of old books, the lingering presence of ancestors—all of it works together to create a rich, almost cinematic atmosphere. More than that, the emotional core is powerful. The way the protagonist moves from quiet contemplation to fully engaging with life again is deeply satisfying.

What Works Really Well:

Atmosphere & Sensory Details: The descriptions make everything feel tangible. The smell of aged tobacco, the cold seeping through the windows, the weight of old books—it all creates a fully realized world that the reader can step into.

Emotional Depth: The protagonist’s reflections on mortality and legacy feel authentic and universal. The moment where grief transforms into a comforting sense of continuity is especially well done.

Contrast Between Reflection and Action: The shift from introspection to playfulness at the end is incredibly effective. It drives home the theme that legacy isn’t just about what we leave behind—it’s about how we live right now.


What Could Be Stronger (with Examples):

1. Pacing & Internal Monologue

Some of the internal reflections are beautifully written but could be streamlined to keep the narrative moving. For example, the lines:
"Memories of the past, stories handed down by my grandfather, even softened by my retellings, weighed on me like unspoken promises."
These could be trimmed to something like:
"Memories of my grandfather, softened by my retellings, weighed on me."
It keeps the essence but makes it more concise.



2. Adding a Bit of Dialogue or Direct Interaction

The story is very introspective, which works well, but a short exchange with the children could strengthen the transition. Something as simple as:
"Grandpa, are you coming?"
He smiled, bending to gather a handful of snow. "You better run."

This would ground the final shift from reflection to action, making it feel even more natural.



3. Stronger Opening Hook

The opening sets the tone nicely, but it could be even more gripping. Instead of starting with, "I sat silently, the weight of years heavy on my chest," consider something like:
"The snow outside was untouched, just like the time I had left."

That immediately signals the story’s themes and draws the reader in with a sense of urgency.




Final Thoughts:

This is a deeply moving piece, and with just a few tweaks to pacing, interaction, and the opening, it could be even more impactful. The emotional journey is already strong, and the way it shifts from sorrow to warmth is beautifully done. With a little fine-tuning, this could be something truly unforgettable.
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is such a fun read! Beth’s voice is sharp, witty, and full of personality, making the whole experience feel so real and engaging. The humor is on point, especially with the little absurd details—like the missing index fingers and the questionable brain surgeon claim—giving the whole thing a perfect balance of charm and skepticism.

The pacing keeps everything moving smoothly, and that last line is just gold. It leaves the reader both laughing and wondering what’s going to happen next. If anything, I’d love just a little more of Beth’s thought process at the end—does she actually consider staying out of sheer curiosity, or is she already halfway to the door in her mind? A tiny bit more internal debate could make that moment even stronger.

Overall, this was a great, entertaining piece, and I’d absolutely read more of Beth’s dating misadventures!
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Review of A Crimson Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Beautifully haunting and emotionally rich, the imagery pulls you right into the vampire’s grief and longing. The contrast between warmth and cold, life and death, makes the tragedy hit even harder—her love is this fragile, fleeting flame against his eternal, cursed existence. The flow is smooth, almost like a mournful ballad, which fits the tone perfectly.

Lines like "No fang, no bite, no stolen breath / She died of life, betrayed by death" are especially powerful. There’s something so gut-wrenching about the idea that despite all his power, he couldn’t save her from the one thing he had no control over.

If anything, the poem could go even deeper into his transformation after her death. We see him become a predator in response to his loss, but does he hate himself for it? Does he see it as honoring her memory, or destroying it? That extra layer of internal conflict could make the ending even more devastating.

Overall, a stunning piece, full of emotion and gothic beauty. A little more focus on his inner struggle could push it even further, making it even more compelling.
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Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This story is an absolute emotional rollercoaster in the best way possible. The tension between Adrian and Daniel is so well done—it builds naturally, never feeling rushed, and every stolen glance and lingering touch carries weight. Their chemistry is undeniable, and the way their relationship unfolds feels raw and real.

The pacing is solid, and the dialogue is sharp, carrying so much meaning beneath the surface. Adrian’s inner conflict is relatable, and his journey feels earned. The emotions hit hard, especially in those moments of doubt and hesitation.

If anything, I think some of the resolutions come a little too quickly. A bit more space for those emotional turning points—like Adrian deciding to fully trust Daniel or the confrontation with Ethan—could make them land even harder. Also, the fallout at work is intriguing, but it feels like it could have been explored a little more to add weight to the stakes.

Overall, though, this is such a compelling read. The passion, the tension, the emotional depth—it all comes together beautifully. With just a little more time spent on some of those big moments, this could be even stronger, but as it stands, it’s already a fantastic story.
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Review of GOOD STUFF!  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is darkly humorous with a strong satirical edge, and it really leans into the absurdity of the narrator’s perspective. The contrast between his clueless self-perception and the wife’s devastatingly sharp account of his failures is striking—it gives the story a biting wit that lands well.

One of the strongest elements is the dialogue. The wife's monologue is cutting and effective, delivering both humor and tragedy in equal measure. Her lines feel natural, and the rhythm of her accusations builds tension beautifully. The way the narrator remains oblivious even in the face of overwhelming evidence makes for a compelling (and frustrating) character study.

That said, there are a couple of areas that could be tightened up. The ending, while darkly funny, could hit harder with a bit more setup. The transition from the wife's "sleeping" to the final punchline about the carport sale could use a little more tension—maybe leaning into the creeping dread of her stillness before the humor kicks back in. The humor is sharp, but refining the balance between comedy and tragedy might make the impact even stronger.

Overall, it’s a bold and memorable piece with great pacing and dialogue. With a little fine-tuning on the climax, it could really pack an even bigger punch.
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Review of I Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by Aiden Blackwood Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a deeply touching and heartfelt poem that beautifully captures the sorrow and love intertwined in watching a loved one struggle with memory loss. The rhyme scheme and steady rhythm enhance its readability, making it flow smoothly and emotionally resonate with the reader.

Strengths:

The progression of emotions is well-structured, guiding the reader through denial, realization, and eventual acceptance.
The simplicity of the language makes it accessible while still carrying a profound emotional weight.
The ending is particularly strong, reinforcing the speaker’s unwavering love and commitment despite the painful circumstances.
Suggestions for Improvement:

Consider adding a few more sensory details or personal memories to strengthen the contrast between past and present. This could make the emotional impact even deeper.
The line "The facts that I'd refused / Hit me like a wall of bricks" is effective, but a more unique metaphor could make it even more powerful. Perhaps something softer, yet equally strong, to match the tone of the rest of the poem.
Overall, this poem is moving and beautifully written. It carries both sorrow and warmth, offering comfort in the idea that love remains even when memories fade. Wonderful work!
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