I didn't want your writing to end. I wanted to hear more about your experiences with B and R. I know you want me to explain myself, and as a writer I should be able to, but I am finding it difficult to put down in words how your story made me feel. I've never been in a polyamorous relationship and have never known anyone who has either, so I can say you gave me some understanding of how the relationships work and how powerful love can be. I know I'm supposed to be reviewing your actual writing but this story was so touching I can't help but just feel, you know?
I love the part about the children's story and how you interpreted the message from Amy Tan's story. That whole part was like...well...from a book! How perfectly that story goes with your message about polyamory.
This was a very touching story. It has all the elements of a great read.
This was a fun read, very intriguing! I got to the end though and I immediately have questions.
What did Mr. Wong have to do with this entire story? Was his whole purpose solely to make "John" think he was John Adams? If so, I feel like that whole part of the story could be eliminated. By being there, it adds an element to the story that is left kind of hanging. The scene with Colonel Gorman at the end is sufficient enough to get the point across that John isn't John.
Why did Colonel Gorman's fingerprint trigger the explosion and not John's? I'm assuming John's fingerprint was the second of the two fingerprints in the camera. Why would a colonel's fingerprint alone be the one to cause an explosion that would kill off humanity?
Who was "John" really? This question takes me back to Mr. Wong. Why would Mr. Wong want John to think he was John Adams?
I loved this story's concept. The idea of a camera that can take pictures of the future is like I said before, intriguing. And the pictures that John took of the future were scary, very ominous.
I also loved the detail in the story. I could see everything you wrote.
WordHungry
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