You've got some really nice rhyming pieces in this, and it flows overall pretty well. The only thing is that some of the words or lines don't flow quite right, but then, that part is really hard to get. I don't always get that part quite right either.
You could make that line "The stabbing is too much to bear," into "I can't bear the stabbing." Just a thought.
This poem is SO well written! I just hope that if you do feel like that, you know that someone out there loves you. I can't believe you're fourteen! This poem sounds like it's professionally written!
This is a very good poem, and I know I've felt like that once or twice, and I know other people who have felt like this, but the thing is, you can't let go. What if someone is coming along in a boat right now to lift you from the water and towel you off?
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